Ermm....even if I had an ass like this...I need a bit more coverage...

Dear Ether,

Is it wrong to wear knickers from Costco?  Does buying underwear in a vacuum-sealed pack by the dozen make me less of a woman?  

I don’t enjoy spending a lot of money on undergarments.  I like them to be functional.  Now, it’s true that I haven’t been on the dating scene in a long time. I probably wouldn’t wear my 80’s floral patterned pants to meet a hot dude at his apartment.  BUT, what about schlepping around during the day?  I mean, women, when they go to the market, wear lacy-black thongs (how do I know this—well, you know when you squat down looking at the bottom shelf, be careful!  We can see your business…enough said).   Or, ladies power-walk to work wearing La Perla.  I suppose many women feel that it all begins with the foundation of your clothes and then you build up.  Not me!  I like the freedom of throwing on my cheap-o undies, 100% cotton, fully covered bum, in a dopey pattern or just a block color.  Though I do have my standards–I never wear white! 

I own a couple of sexy little numbers.  And sometimes, when I’ve been bad about doing laundry, I’ve been forced to pull them out for everyday use.  I feel silly.  Like I’m wearing a cocktail dress out to McDonalds.  It doesn’t feel like I’m treating myself to something special.  In fact, it feels scratchy or too posh.  It seems like a waste.  People would laugh if they knew what was under some of the clothes worn to many of the events I attend.  For example, I have a beautiful Chloe dress that I wear with black Louboutin’s.  Yeah……I then rock the look with budget lingerie from the Gap or Primark.  

When I first changed in front of English gent, I didn’t expect to be going au natural.  And since I rock the shitty undergarment look, well fuck, out came the 5 year old, no name nude bra.  And, of course, the Costco paisley-print briefs.  HOT!  As a joke I said “What do you think?” He laughed and said, “That is truly shocking.”  Hey, Ethers, at least I still had it in me to shock a man!  

When I see a woman in an ad or a film wearing a gorgeous set of lingerie and see her power of seduction, yeah, I often feel the elastic in the waist of my knickers and frown.  But, instead of spending 30 bucks per pair (at least) on some silk string bikinis, I’d much rather enjoy a nice lunch instead.  

Recently I saw some tabloid photos of Miranda Kerr (Orlando Bloom’s lady) in a corset and thigh-high’s from the Victoria’s Secret fashion show.  Yep.  She looked amazing. But, then I saw another pap photo of her changing in the background of another runway show.  She was wearing a crappy, plain nude bra and from what I could see a tan thong.  And you know what, she still looked pretty fucking hot.  At the end of the day, if you’ve got a great bod, those vacuum-sealed bargain beauties are gonna be just fine.  And if you don’t have such a great figure, yeah, maybe a sexy number from Rigby & Pellar will make you appear hotter or feel better.  But, hey, let’s face it, no matter how tight you lace that bustier, you ain’t gonna look like Ms. Kerr.  So, my feeling?  Save your bucks.  You’ll only be wearing that stuff for a few seconds anyway if you’re with a guy.  And at the end of the day, the fewer strings and snaps he has to deal with to get to you, the better.  Viva la underpants!!!!!!

Dedicatedly yours, 

—One of 365

One of the MANY reasons I choose not to wear white underpants.....visible panty line....though this lady has a few other things to think about!

Dear Ether,

Well, Well, Well.  Just when you thought I’d given up on Fashion Fridays……….but they’re baaaaaaaaaaack!  You know, I’ve been so busy with other topics.  My dad’s results came in on a Friday.  I needed advice from you guys on a Friday.  It seemed that the end of the week was just a dire day that needed serious attention. But, I realize that I’ve neglected a very fun part of One of 365.  So for all of your fashionista Ethers, here’s a little clothing pizzaz to start your weekend.

I didn’t choose anything too nuts.  I wanted to snap a look that I love dearly and I’ve worn with staples you’ve seen before.  I wanted the garment to speak for itself with the other accessories to act as a canvas to let it shine.  I love this dress.  It’s beyond comfortable, beautifully made, smartly constructed, uniquely designed, youthful and sleek.  You can also dress it up or down.  Even better, it doesn’t show your gut if you’ve just wolfed down a burger and fries (and in my case, half a cake!).

Here’s the story behind it.  I worked as head of copy and content for lifestyle, fashion and beauty for a very famous UK department store website.  They had the most unbelievable discount.  We had two different types of deals.  One deal was we had a yearly allowance of 1,200 pounds worth of uniform at 50% off.  Now, for the shop floor folks that only meant black shoes or a suit.  But, since we were the creatives and had manager status on our cards, we could B.S. a bit.  The icing on the cake was that we also got 50% off 1 bag and 1 coat.  Nice!  But the best thing was our discount could be used towards sale items too.  So you can imagine the deals we got during Christmas and July.  The other general discount was 33% off almost anything in the store.  AND…sometimes they would give us an extra 10% off day making the total 43%!!!  Oh yeah….beyond killer.  Most of my paycheck went back into the shop which I think might have been their evil plan  Needless to say, most of my lunch breaks consisted of shopping and trying to score deals.

This dress totally wasn’t what anyone would consider uniform.  But, as I was a creative and manager, I gave a huge smile and sweet talked the head of sales of that department.  The dress was originally 200 pounds, marked down to 100 pounds and I paid 50 because of my discount.  FAB!  I’ll one day share with you my many goodies that I got from this amazing department store.  And there are so many regrets (oh why, oh why did I pass up that amazing Vivienne Westwood skirt suit for 200 pounds that was originally a grand!!!).  But here we are on Fashion Fridays enjoying one of my many delights that I got working in London.  I know you want to hear more…you’ll die when I tell you what I paid for my YSL Muse bag

Happy Friday Ethers and thanks for hanging out at the ol’ blog.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

I reckon this would look great on any figure. And you see the Falke tights that I have worn a zillion times (and keep pushing you to buy) and my KG's (best buy EVER). I think this is a whimsical, fashionable piece that really stands out. I get compliments when I wear it out because it doesn't look like any ol' dress.

Here it is splayed out in its full glory. It's made of silk and I love that the sheer fabric pattern matches the crocheted swans on the chest. So clever and a perfect touch to make this a really special piece. I think it's the little details from the designer to match things like fabrics which make pieces stand-out and feel very bespoke. Swan Silk Dress, Desiyah, 50 Pounds, Famous UK Department Store, London

Just in case you couldn't see the fabric patterns matching in different textiles, I thought I'd take a photo that captured the detail. I think it really is what makes it so special and worth you noticing. Pretty nifty, no?

I’m not going to insert the KG heels or the Falke tights as I’ve put them in so many Fashion Fridays it would be redundant.  If you have NOT seen them before, feel free to click on the sidebar where the categories are. You’ll find them listed there.  You can get the prices and my style thoughts about them. But, I will say, they are two of my favorite pieces because they go with everything and elongate the legs.

Dear Ethers,

At this rate this blog is going to cost me a fortune.  I’m running out of clothes for Fashion Fridays and am gonna have to go shopping to make my 52 week quota!!!  Nah…I still have some stuff up my sleeve….but I keep wanting to save the prime outfits for later and I’m starting to sport my just so-so pieces.  It’s not that they aren’t cute, they just aren’t the “wow” ensembles that I put together in my earlier posts.  Next week I am going to don a masterpiece.  I have 7 days to come up with a brilliant ensemble….the pressure!

The dress featured in this post is from a Kiwi designer named Peter Alexander who had a store on Robertson Blvd. in Los Angeles.  I tend to peek in a lot of these shops because Dr. W’s office is on this swanky street.  I get there early and enjoy seeing all the lovely things that I can’t afford.  But sometimes these boutiques have major blowout sales.  I’m lucky because I usually get to them first since I go twice a week and get bargains.  Some of my best deals have happened because of therapy!   Peter Alexander is evidently really famous in Australia and New Zealand and has been trying to make it Stateside.  However, I think it has been to no avail.  His shop came and went so fast I don’t even think the paint was dry on the storefront when they put the final bolts on the door closing it forever.  He’s known for his nightwear.  It’s cutsie pajama’s and bras and underwear.  Truthfully, I thought it was really immature and silly and extremely overpriced.  You know, it was the sort of thing where it has a satin top and bottom pajama set that has Barbie dolls on it for $300. In pink.  Yeah, no way.  BUT.  In his Robertson store he did a special collection of clothing that you could wear in the public that was made from lush materials and was rather understated, elegant and fun.  It was limited edition and beyond expensive.  One day when walking by the shop I noticed a huge red set of numbers saying 90% off everything in the store.  Well, you know me.  I LOVE a deal.  So I went in, whisked past the crappy thongs with Swarovski crystals on the bum (ouch) and hit this rack that no one seemed to care about.  And there it was.  This sweet little dress made of cashmere and silk.  And I paid $50 for it.  It’s nice and warm, but also surprisingly light and you can wear it with tights or sandals.  I love the whimsical star cape that is attached.

As for the Miu Miu’s.  WELL…..those are ancient!  I got those at a Barney’s warehouse sale in the Santa Monica airport hangar which is famous in Los Angeles because women go bananas and fight to the broken acrylic from Dior to Dolce & Gabbana.  I will NEVER go back there, but I did snag these snazzy shoes.  I think they were $85 dollars at least 7 years ago.  They might be a little beaten up, but I still think they are swell.  They remind me of a sleek jester.  Or, a black and white cookie

Anyway, have a lovely Friday and a great weekend and I will speak to you tomorrow about….well, you never know with me, right?

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

God my legs are pasty! They might as well blend in with the doors. Anyway, this is about fashion....not tanning! I like this dress because it's simple, elegant and also youthful. It's a nice play on the LBD with the added cape and I really respect nice fabric so this is an A-Star (HA) for me. I'm wearing it with flats---throw on some heels with this and I reckon it could be a lovely date dress. It's understated with a bit of personality. Because it is made of cashmere, you can slip on a pair of wool tights and wear it more seasonally.

I had to give a back-shot to show you the cape. It isn't that obvious from the front and I thought you should see how sweet it looks from the back. It's made of silk so it floats with every movement.

Here it is! Lovely indeed! It's a really great travel piece because it doesn't wrinkle and the colors are obviously really versatile. But, as I said, so is the style. You can wear it day to night and warm weather to cold. It also has a bit of stretch to it--great for after a big meal

Oldies but goodies! I fought my way through a bloody airport hangar for these suckers. I really like them because they are black and cream and go with everything. They look lovely with jeans, smartening them up a tad. They are so comfy, and just slide right on. The leather has made them get better with age and hey, who doesn't need a bit of Miu Miu in their lives?

I suppose one day you'll see all of me. But, for now, here is an X-Ray image of my teeth (no, they aren't black---I didn't live in England THAT long!) I'm forcing a big old smile that does not come naturally to me. The reason I took this image with this filter on is because at the end of the day, underneath it all, a smile can really just be a facade and a straight face can be a very happy person but one caught in their thoughts. I dunno--a man once told me I'd be attractive if I'd smile more. Here's my story...

Dear Ether,

I was once told by a man that I would be much more attractive if I smiled more.  I wondered, “Did that stop people from approaching me because I looked like a sourpuss?”  When I catch my reflection in a store window or a mirror, I definitely look unapproachable.  My head is often lowered, my cheeks sucked in giving my lips a down-turned pout and sunglasses usually shade my eyes.

I was never the girl who was bought drinks at bars or was approached on streets.  I never got asked out on dates or was flirted with in public.  And I didn’t get it.  I know you guys don’t know what I look like, but you know I’m honest, and I will try and be humble, but I’m not bad looking.  And when I put myself together, I actually look quite nice.  So when I saw girls who I thought were less attractive, I never knew why I wasn’t getting any attention.

You know, some people have a great smile.  Their eyes crinkle beautifully, their teeth glimmer like ivory piano keys that explode in their mouths welcoming you to their face.  Their lips are full and their grin just makes everything more inviting.  When I smile, I lose my upper lip, my eyes almost disappear and it looks like I’m missing my back teeth because my lip casts a shadow over the last few molars.  I just don’t have a pretty smile.

When I had braces, I learned to smile with my mouth shut.  An almost pucker-like smirk.  I look back on these photos and see how dreadful I appear.  My chin juts out, lines gather around my nose and mouth.  No one would ever mistake me for the Cheshire Cat.

After this man suggested this about my appearance, I tried to take heed of his advice.  I actually felt the atrophied muscles in that region struggle and shake trying to hold the pose.  I felt stupid and foolish. After a few tries I gave up and my face relaxed back into its straight-lined position. The thing is, I don’t NOT smile, I just don’t have that kind of cheerful visage.

I will tell you one thing—(and it’s my surprise)—when I laugh—I give it everything I’ve got.  THAT’S when my teeth come out and sparkle and when my eyes shine and you see my dimples.  So, maybe the secret is you’ve got to make me crack-up.  And when you do, maybe I’m really damned beautiful.  So though I’m not on show every minute, what makes me special is that I come out from the woodwork and glitter every once in awhile.  And it’s the people who matter that get to see the really attractive me.  It’s the people who take the time to invest and not just enjoy the ongoing music of the large piano key teeth but maybe some of the flat notes hidden by my skinny excuse for lips.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

This is my tree. The very one that sits in my yard. I captured it in all its glory for the one week it explodes with blossoms. My very own winter in the spring.

Dear Ethers, 

When I was a little girl growing up in California, I always used to envy places where it snowed.  I would see the news and they would have pictures of the weathermen showing a wonderful flurry on TV in some lovely New England town where everything was sugar coated in white frost.  

I’d experienced snow.  My parents were from the East Coast and I’d visited many times in the winter, but I always wanted my own taste of it in Los Angeles.  I didn’t really care about the clothing that came with the climate change or the snowball fights.  I just wanted to look up at the heavens and see snowflakes dropping endlessly from the sky.  

We had a wonderful tree in our yard that looked like it belonged in a magical forest in some fairytale.  Its trunk was a black/brown that was twisted in knots and had puffs of moss that grew along its craggily roots.  And for one week, just a single week, it sprouted white flowers that were very delicate but too fragile for the wind.  And everyday after school I would run outside and lie under the tree and let the white petals cascade all over me as if I was having my own winter.  I would pray for a push of air so the tree would release more of its bounty and I would close my eyes and let the cool flowers fall on my face gently brushing them off as they warmed with my skin.  As I got up to leave after my time in the “snow,” my silhouette was laid out in the grass amongst the white that had collected. 

This is the tree I grew up with.  The tree I sat talking to for that week.  I fell asleep under it and dreamt.  I read books where I escaped into new journeys.  I imagined myself a grown woman getting married under its canopy that very week sometime in the future in spring with lanterns hanging from it in the dusk and my dress matching its beautiful array. 

The tree is at least 90 years old.  I stare at it now, leaves slightly turning red and gold for the fall.  And I think it will probably be about 150 years old when I die. When I try and conjure a happy thought about my childhood, my moments with that tree are at the front of my mind.  It was a place of thought, a place of magic, a place where a little girl could have her winter even though it was 70 degrees.  

I just wanted to share with you a beautiful memory about something that was special in my past.  It’s funny, later on in life, when I did live in snowy places, I always expected the snow to be like petals.  I always felt so sad when the flakes melted on my skin.  I just wanted to be taken back to that magical spot and look up through the trees branches, see the blue sky, have my eyes shaded by its branches and just be covered in a blanket of winter but have it really be spring.  

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365