This is Master One of 365--AKA my older Brother. A lovely, caring A+ guy who has been looking for a girl to share his future with and is just unable to find love in this lonesome town. This entry is dedicated to him. By the way, he'd kill me if he ever found out about this, so let's pray he never sees this post. He DOES NOT know I have a blog--oh man--can you imagine if he found out? Anyway, I did block his face--but he does sort of have a JFK Jr. vibe about him, no? Aww, maybe I have blinders because he is my brother and I adore him. Anyway, read on....you'll see why I think this guy emerging from the sea is a helluva catch. PS: The writing across his face is supposed to say: "Bachelor One Of 365" in case you were wondering---the pic was just too small for the letters to show through.

Dear Ether,

My lovely, attractive, lawyer sibling Maestro One of 365 has been dating forever!  He simply cannot find the right girl.  He’s 31, has a decent job, is absolutely BRILLIANT (the guy is a veritable encyclopedia), has perfect manners and speaks fluent Japanese.  He has all of his hair (thick, lovely black hair) BUT does not have crazy amounts of chest hair or ANY back hair.  He also has lovely warm brown eyes, good skin and excellent pecs! 

I’ll be honest with you with his shortcomings—look is anyone perfect?: 

1. He does drive a 12-year old car (a black Camaro that looks like it is brand new).  He doesn’t drive the car due to lack of funds, but because it runs beautifully since he’s taken such good care of it and he thinks it would be foolish to waste money on a new one when he has a great set of wheels now.  See, a very good guy who knows how to handle his finances!

2. He doesn’t earn a boatload of money (but, good enough) because, though he is a lawyer, he works for a dot.com and does legal work for them as well as internet-based stuff so he isn’t making 6 figures in a big name firm.  He really wants to be a screenwriter, or a TV writer (and writes BEAUTIFULLY) but can’t seem to break in yet—but give him time  and he’ll get there.

3. He’s a little on the short side—he’s a bit over 5’9.

4. He’s incredibly fastidious (good for some, I suppose, but as you can imagine for me, a real bummer, read: http://bit.ly/i50Eb). 

5. He LOVES computer games and all that Playstation shit. 

Okay.  But let’s go back to why he is SO fab.  He is extremely well read, kind, has a great nose, full Angelina Jolie like-lips, a lovely body (yikes, this is my brother we’re talking about…), a deep soul, a generous nature, a love of history and art, music, he’s well-travelled, and has a really loyal heart. So, ladies, what’s the deal?  Why are you all going for Mr. Wrong!?!?!

Squire One of 365 goes out on all of these dates (he’s been doing the internet craziness recently) and they either lie about what they look like (they submit photos of themselves 5 years ago when they weren’t 20lbs overweight or they submit a picture a la Photoshop) or they are really money grubbing and superficial.  AND, some of them have STD’s.  What sucks is that if my brother does like one of them, they don’t tell him right away—and then boom—they drop the bomb and he is gutted because hey, no matter what, herpes sucks.  

Look, I know I’m biased, but my brother is a swell sorta fella.  A really ace bloke.  Like I have my English gent, I wish he had his English rose (or Japanese flower…he loves Asian women) and I’m worried about him.  He’s 31, lonely and really wants to start a real relationship and feels so defeated.  I don’t know what to do—I don’t know anyone to introduce him to, and these websites seem sketchy.  He’s such a gentleman too.  He always picks up the tab (none of this going “Dutch” stuff we modern women insist on–though don’t take advantage of him!) and isn’t gross like the sweaty dude at the club where he is a drunken mess and starts grinding on you.  Is that what it will take, though, for him to get a date?  Do the frat boys win?  Do good guys ever prevail? 

So, Ethers who live in Los Angeles, who want a really great guy and are single, contact me.  I’ll send you a photo—you send me a photo and a bio and maybe we can make a hook-up.  How fun—a One of 365 dating service for my big bro!  By the way, let me re-iterate, he has no idea I have a blog and he’d kill me if he knew I was doing this, so we’d have to hatch a plan.  But, we’ll figure it out when it comes to it.  

So, if you like dining (especially Asian cuisine), great films, maybe a bit of karaoke, love pop culture, are funny, not money grubbing, bright, like to read, are non-religious, not over 5’7, slim (I know—but he likes em’ trim), don’t smoke, don’t have kids (hey, nothing against little-ones, I just don’t think he’s ready for that kind of responsibility…) and are a really nice person sans STD’s please—would you drop me an e-mail.  Oh, yeah and you have to live in the greater Los Angeles area.  Oh, a few more LITTLE requests: can you love fashion and beauty and ADORE my blog? (of course, that’s just MY criteria;)). 

Awwwwww………to my future Mrs. One of 365! I know you are out there in the ether—–oh, and feel free to ask me a slew of questions.  I am ready and willing to be of any assistance!

Dedicatedly yours, 

—One of 365 

PS: Please, no mail-order brides! This is a dating service, not a Green Card opportunity! I’m only kidding (sort of….you know who you are……….).