I don't think I've had as much fun as THESE guys. But, I've had my fair share of going out this week and I just wanted to give you an update on what I've been up to. It's rather positive---rare from this old gal. Enjoy it while it lasts........

Dear Ethers,

La-dee-da.  I’ve been going out in this town called Holly-weird and meeting some very unusual people at some very unusual venues.  It’s really odd what I’ve been up to lately, and my life has seemed like a blur this past week.

So, here is my giant and glam update.

As mentioned, I went to this party thrown by shoe gal.  It was an Indian themed night and she hired local women who are brilliant chefs from India to cook massive amounts of the most amazing curries, meats, lentils (I could go on) that you could imagine.  My only complaint: no chuntey (what’s wrong with this country!).  Her house is a lovely home just off Rodeo Drive and is an Art Deco/Spanish style beauty from the 1920’a that is in impeccable condition and decorated with impeccable taste.  To add true Indian flavor to the night, she had a few members of the cast of Slumdog Millionaire (no, sadly not Frieda Pinto or Dev Patel) and gave beautiful embroidered pashminas as presents for coming.  I think the highlight for her was seeing Kiefer Sutherland in her home (she’s a huge 24 fan).  She sheepishly got the photographer to snap myself and another one of her friends with him (cringe-worthy—especially after seeing the picture).  He was actually really lovely.  But the weirdest person to show up was this bonkers Arab prince who brought an escort (no, like a 1-900-babe escort) and his bodyguards and I swear to god he was nuts and high on something and it wasn’t Allah.

The next night our new royal friend invited us out to a jazz bar he shut down for the evening, treated us to an amazing show of music and dancing and the most delicious food ever (the bill evidently came to $5,000 for 9 people, a very sneaky guest told us).  The champagne and conversation flowed and he, again, was bonkers.  From the shirt open to his midriff with chest hair bursting out and a gold medallion sitting on top of its puffs, to his toupee dancing as much as he did that night—it was certainly errrm, different.  He’s staying in a cabana in the Beverly Hills Hotel (it is to die for) and the room costs $4,500 A NIGHT!  And he is staying for 6 months!!!!!!!!!  I’ll just let you ponder all the nice things you could do with the money like I did when I first heard the numbers.

Then, last night, I had the most AMAZING evening.  I was invited to an exclusive Chanel dinner honoring their fine jewelry collection.  A very small number of us sat at a pre-set dinner on top of the boutique in Beverly Hills where the chef from Lucques made us a 5-course meal with wines to match each dish.  The room was dimly lit with Chanel votives scented with No. 5 and their signature white camellias.  When I went out for a cigarette, the balcony had amazing couches and the view of the city was sparkling.  The backdrop of the building was of dozens of double C’s lit in white.  Marvelous.  The best part was when the models, all donning Chanel, came out wearing the jewels.  All of us got to wear them and I sat with a 2 million dollar diamond collar around my neck (the center stone was 8 carats!).  I was so nervous that they thought I was going to do a runner that I kept looking at security reassuringly.  They gave us as a parting favor a rare bottle of Chanel Beige EDT which costs $200 (that’s $100 a ml!).

So all in all it’s been an adventurous week.  However, I feel guilty that English gent couldn’t join me for the festivities.  Shoe gal is really big on it being all girls when she invites people…….so he wasn’t invited to the party nor the jazz club.  Her attitude is, if she doesn’t bring her man, she doesn’t want you bringing yours either.  I like it in a way, because it allows me to mingle with potential new friends.  And in fact, I have made one or two new possible friendships out of these nights out.  I think if English gent HAD been there, I might have been attached to him too much and may not have been as gregarious and keen to talk.  It’s really nice having girlfriends and I like shoe gal’s philosophy.  But there is guilt that he is left home a lot. We are going out to dinner this evening and I hope that we will get a chance to catch up then.  But, the truth is when we are at home together, we don’t really do much.  So I feel when I DO get the opportunity to go out, I should take it.  Why sit home twirling my fingers when I could be out living life?

Besides that, I’ve got the normal worries about work.  My company that I freelance for just lost 500 employees which, as I mentioned before, trickles down to me.  Work will be scarce.  I really am so desperate to get on that oh-so-coveted ladder and have terrible anxiety everyday about it.  I want out of this house and freedom.    I want to have independence.  I want to know if I am building a nest here or not.  These are all very worrisome questions.

I hope you are all well.  I love talking to you guys.  It’s so nice to have a chat and be able to open up.  If you ever have any questions or if you ever want to open up yourself, e-mail me.  I love getting e-mails and you know I’m a comment fiend.  I can’t believe tomorrow is Fashion Friday!  Seriously, I feel like it was yesterday that I was snapping my leggings and star top from my last post.  UGH, I am so fat, what am I going to bloody wear for you people.  Good thing you can’t see back shots.  That way if nothing zips, I’ll be okay to still photograph myself in it.

Until my closet seeks your eyes out tomorrow.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

What a HUNK! Notice me Charles....me...the girl through the screen...c'mon...you're staring right at me. UGH! You just missed me and caught sight of that Camilla woman. Shame. Now I'm doomed to be a nobody for the rest of my life and you get to play polo and have servants while I get to look for work and earn a pittance but pay 30% taxes so you can travel in a Bentley! BRILLIANT! Oh Charlie. It could have been us.

Dear Ethers,

Tonight I am going to an event where I’m meeting a Prince.  I can’t tell you anything about the red carpet itself (ARGHHH) but that’s not really what the post is about anyway.  It’s about the idea of royalty and a girl who just doesn’t understand the significance of its importance.

For days I’ve been receiving details about security, how to present myself to him when we meet.  Oh and his biography (AKA: a dissertation).  Ethers, you have to remember that I am going to be also interviewing celebrities that would be considered Hollywood royalty—people much more famous and significant than this blue blooded gentleman.  And you know what—all I’ve had to do is IMDB for research–easy.

Growing up as an American I’ve never understood monarchies.  I suppose I understood the tradition, but I never understood the money that they cost and the opulence that they lived in just to do…………what exactly?  I know there are a lot of royalists.  Though having lived in England, it tends to be the older generation that likes the tradition rather than the younger folks.  We just don’t get Liz and Charlie and Hot Ginge and Wills.  Yes, they bring a lot of money in for tourism and that’s great.  But, does that really compensate for the money they cost the taxpayer?  I want to go to China White’s for free and have my Chanel bag stuffed full of 50 pound notes from the taxes of the cleaner on Piccadilly Circus buying me Grey Goose on the rocks all night.  I want my face on porcelain sold in shops around tourist attractions so that people can admire me.  Why…because……well……..why?

I’m not just picking on England.  I just know the monarchy best there.  I really think it’s ALL so ridiculous globally.  I mean, look at the royal families in Saudi Arabia.  They literally have dolphins brought in for parties to be a novelty in their pools where they die afterwards from the chlorine.  They live so opulently, while most of the country is so poor that they wear boiler suits in 100 degree weather fixing roads for $1 an hour.   There are people living in such horrible conditions–in slums and Council Estates.  People who need rehab and don’t have the money.  But, the queen has a “Diamond as Big As The Ritz” that could probably pay for hundreds of her subjects to seek the help they need.  Yet it sits in a vault getting steamed every so often by a royal gem cleaner (another expense) amongst the other masses of jewels she probably doesn’t even know she has.

Monarchies are not today what they were once were.  Elizabeth the 2^nd ain’t no Elizabeth the 1^st and we know it.  So why the hell do we back out of rooms and bow to these old birds?  Why do lords and ladies get estates and benefits that hard-working folks don’t?

So I’ve been instructed that I must curtsy and when introduced say “It is a pleasure to meet you, your Highness.”  I’ve had to practice this several times with a straight face and then without stuttering because I just can’t spit it out.  Classy, right?  It’s wrong of me not to embrace that this is the way this country operates and I have to accept this man for who he is.  I guess running through my veins is the blood of an American with the history of men who signed the Declaration of Independence—a veritable death warrant for a democracy so they could break free from the reigns of a king or a queen.

I know I should be looking at tonight as novel and fun.  And I will—it will all be looked at with a grain of salt.  But in that moment when he comes to me, and I have to curtsy—it will be very serious.  That’s when it becomes real and that’s why this idea came to my mind for a post.

I’m sure a lot of you are going to defend royalty or maybe agree with me about the foolishness of kings and queens.  There are many people who would kill to be in my shoes tonight and would see it as an absolute honor to even touch this mans hands.  I’m just looking at the bigger picture.  The idea of whether or not royalty is a rotting appendage of society.  I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts about this topic.

LOL.  I’m just imagining him showing up in ermine, a crown and shoes with a diamond buckles.  I’m sure he’ll probably be wearing Armani.  Anyway….until then…..I must practice……..so………..how does this sound………….. “It is a pleasure to meet you, your (eeeeeeeeeeek) Highness?”  Not too bad, right?  I hope he doesn’t notice my chewed fingernails.  I have been going through a lot lately.  But I’m only human—and you know what, at the end of the day, DNA-wise, so is he.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365