The "Minus" Touch. Don't let this PR phenomenon fool you. It's not all it's cracked up to be---well, actually it is, if you like skin that looks like you have scabies. Are you shocked. Read on, I have a good explanation...don't get angry with me yet

Dear Ether,

So, you know by now that I’m a magazine writer.  But I don’t know if I’ve made it absolutely clear that my forte is beauty.  I can write a tear-jerking features piece, a cracking fashion story, but when it comes to all things beauty, I shine (never my nose of course, that I always powder). 

Today I’m going to share with you the deadliest beauty weapon on the planet.  I’m sure that I’m going to receive hate mail, be banned from France and all YSL beauty counters (actually, I’m an anonymous blogger, phew, so I’m still in the good books with Sarkozy, PR’s and Barney’s). No, but seriously, I’m lucky I can finally speak out against this product because people need to be aware of how dangerous it can be. 

Are you ready for the shocker of your life? 

It’s……….YSL Touche Éclat.  

What!! Gasps!  I know, it’s appalling since it’s a worldwide best seller and put YSL on the map for being numero uno in the world of highlighters and concealers.  

I remember the day I obtained my golden wand in the post years ago and was so keen to try this marvel everyone had been raving about.  I received #2 “Luminous Ivory” (the most universal for the majority of skin colors—the product comes in four shades—#1 Luminous Radiance for very pale skin, #2 as mentioned above, #3 “Light Peach” for medium skin and #4 “Luminous Toffee” for darker skin tones) and took out my glistening pen, ready to start clicking.  I stared at the white brush as the nude colored pigment filled its bristles.  I was eager and geared up to apply.  

Now, as a girl in her twenties who has terrible insomnia (which causes serious panda eyes) this product was tremendously appealing. In fact, after reading the reviews and hearing the PR spiel, it sounded like the answer to my prayers.  Gleefully, I took my magnified mirror (whoa, those are scary—have you ever really looked at yourself in one of those—you can actually count your pores—let’s not get into that in this entry—too depressing) and painted the magical fluid on my face expecting to look like a “revived” me.  At first I looked like a ghost.  Nothing to fear yet. I’ve worked with worse before.  If I add powder on top and then a bit of bronzer, a touch of eye-makeup—it usually all blends beautifully.  But my usually flawless formula didn’t work.   Touche Éclat made my very warm brown eyes look tres vacant.  I looked expressionless.  Not a good sign. 

I could have put Touche Éclat aside and said, “meh” and never thought about it again.  But….what happened next, well, THIS is why I’m writing this warning entry.  THIS is why Touche Éclat is a weapon of mass destruction.  

3 hrs later I started feeling hideous burning under my eyes.  I looked in the mirror and saw that my skin had started to flake and peel and my peepers were bloodshot.  Holy shit!  This stuff of “dreams” had become my nightmare.  Using the most gentle make-up remover I could find (we’re talking calendula infused with aloe and chamomile), I applied the liquid to my face but it had the effect of battery acid.  The searing of my sockets when the remover touched my skin was so hideous I actually started to cry. 

Flash forward 4 days.  I can’t wear any cover-up, I look like I have hideous eczema, and I’m going to PR parties looking like a monster.  I’m donning eyeglasses so big Ray Charles would be shocked (if he could see).  When I tell my story to everyone I know because I’m forced to explain that I don’t have contagious conjunctivitis, they say they TOO have had this happen.  Huh!?  We’re all shocked at this revelation.  This best-selling product that people swear-by has wreaked havoc on so many of us Beauty Editor’s….why has no one written about it?  Why have we let this happen to our fellow woman!?

I launch into a full-fledged research project about this product, and little by little I start seeing reviews about Touche Éclat and how others have had the same horrible reaction that mimicked mine.  There are tons of us—this magic wand can be a witch’s stick!

So, my word of advice.  Before you lay down 40 bucks (before tax) and put the goop on with confidence before a hot date, and then 3 hrs later end up looking like you have pink eye, get a patch test done at the YSL counter.  Have the woman give you a sample of the product or have her apply it to your eye area and wait 24 hours.  If you like it, and you don’t have a breakout, then you’re one of the many lucky ones who can use this product.  But, if you’re like one of the underground Touche Éclat lepers like myself, don’t risk something like your wedding day to try out this product and end up with photos where you look like a wildebeest whose been crying all day.  Radiant Touch…humph….more like Touch of Evil. 

Leave me a comment if you have suffered from a Touche Éclat moment. Or, if you think I’m totally bonkers and you love the stuff (I have a feeling I’ll be hearing a lot more from you guys….we lepers tend to stay closeted). 

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

PS: Don’t forget!  Tomorrow is “Fashion Friday!”  This is installment number two.  Last week was a vintage vibe.  This week is something totally different—well, the type of clothing is, but maybe not the actual items.  Cryptic?  Stay tuned to find out and check in tomorrow.  This time please VOTE!