Dear Ether,

I’ve never been a fan of seeing a dog in a more expensive coat than I own.  I’ve never thought it was cute watching a maltipoo trot down the street wearing a ballerina outfit with a nicer manicure than I could afford.  Oh god, and the LV carrying cases that these little animals get schlepped around in!  I can’t believe the waste of such fine Italian leather.  And here’s the catch—I’m a dog lover.  And maybe BECAUSE I’m a dog lover, I really see this as a travesty because I know if these dogs could see what they looked like (well, comprehend it) they would be humiliated.  I know “dog parents” mean well.  I really do. But when you’ve seen a chihuahua in a stroller and a poodle with braces like I have—you just can’t help feeling somewhat jaded by the whole thing.

I got an E-mail from Ralph Lauren announcing their Fall sale.  Curious, as I always am for a bargain, I clicked on the link to peruse.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw a poor creature dressed in a fucking rugby shirt and another one in a puffer jacket—-with a hood.  WHAT!  I had to see what else Mr. Lauren had on offer. Loads.  Alligator collars for $500.  Shearling jackets.  Oh, you could even snag for your loved one a little Ralph Lauren sweater with the Polo insignia crocheted into the back in bright orange–very understated.

I know there are women who live on Park Avenue who never had children and this feeds their fancy.  Or, women who DO have children and want the dog to blend right into the family.  There are also chavs who love their labels and MAN this is a great way to make their little one look as “pucka’” as they do.  So, I’ve decided to allow you to make the decision for yourself.  To maybe prove me wrong.  Here are the photos from the site.  Tell me what you think?

Me?  Well, I’m sure the title of this entry tells all.  But if you think the kit is Bow-WOWZA and I am nuts to think it is WOOF….then lemme know.  Hey, every dog has its day……of reckoning.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

Now THIS makes an impact. Everyone wants to go to The Ritz! Now, let's be real. My humble blog will never be as mighty as this legend, but I'd certainly like it to be as welcoming and for people to want to come inside. Please help me figure out how I can get a diamond slightly as big as the Ritz

Dear Ether, 

I was having a very interesting debate about blogs the other night with a fellow astronaut in the sphere.  He also happens to be a marketing strategist so he thinks in a way that I most certainly do not.  His insight into this world is fascinating.  

I know blogging isn’t about statistics, but c’mon, we all take a gander at them.  Not to be competitive and get book deals with Penguin, but to see if anyone out there is reading us.  After five months my blog stats have remained the same and this has concerned me.  I don’t understand why I’m not getting more hits and why my hit rates aren’t steadily rising (I post every day and I try and choose lovely photos!).  Is my site unsightly?  Are my pictures ugly?  Are my titles/captions bad?  My content rubbish?  I’m worried.  Well, marketing maestro asked me a very interesting question.  What was my bounce rate?  Well, quite high actually.  This, he said, was key.  He said people were clicking on my site and then leaving before they had a chance to read my content. Those who read my work probably liked it. This proved the consistency of my solid number I could count on every day. But most other people never got that far.  Here’s the analogy he thought best:  It’s like having a restaurant. You’ve got great food, an amazing chef and a great interior with lovely staff.  Hey, even the toilets are nice with Molton Brown hand soap.  But, the awning is rubbish, the sign is torn, you haven’t swept the sidewalk and your curb appeal is just awful.  No one is going to walk in and open the door to see the innards because they think the outside is a reflection of the inside.  

But is this so?  Is that what’s going on?  Or, is the market simply too saturated with blogs? OR people can’t be asked to read anything longer than a blurb or two and my posts are too lengthy so when they see my post they find it too daunting? All these questions and more are what make up my blog post today.  For those of you who’ve “stepped into my restaurant,” who’ve actually made it this far into my content, I’d love your advice.  I want more people to read my writing and readership to grow, but something is wrong and I can’t put my finger on it.  So, today I’m asking for suggestions.   Think of it as me doing a bit of blog market research.  I’m going to put being humble aside for a moment.  I think my content is really decent.  But again, people aren’t getting that far.  

I am not looking for a pat on the back.  PLEASE.  Don’t toot my horn or try to be nice.  Honesty is what I’m looking for.  When I set out to write One of 365 I wanted it to be read by a lot of people so I could connect with the world and grow.  I don’t want to be another blog statistic.  I could really use your advice.  Hey, if you think I’m wrong and think my content is shit, fuck it—let me know.  Speak your mind.  I want my restaurant to flourish and you guys are the people I want to come in and enjoy a meal with.

I also think this will be an interesting case study for other bloggers out there to think about how this might aid you as well if you have the same concerns.  

On that note……I appreciate your feedback and wait in haste for thoughts.  My ripped awning is waiting to be fixed.  

Dedicatedly yours, 

—One of 365