"A throne is only a bench covered with velvet." Napoleon Bonaparte (I am not so cynical, but isn't that a great quote! No wonder he had a chip on his shoulder I am very pleased with my bench covered in velvet, thank you very much!)

The RAM on my computer is very pleased.  It’s being filled with wonderful gifts from fellow bloggers who have been kind and generous with their love and thoughts.  The uber-cool Forty Not Out (who has not only a really fab blog that will make you crack a smile with her humor and wicked wit but also, as a fellow blogger, will make you jealous of how good her design taste is—killer header woman!) has given me the “Queen of ALLL Things” award.  From a stylish lady who has pretty damned good taste, I’m taking this as a great sign that I’m still (kinda) hip.  So eat your heart out LIZ!  But, to boot, my best mate on the blogosphere, who has a blog I endlessly rave about, Life, The Universe And All Thats In It, doubly whammied  me and now I can say I am TRULY pretty in pink.  

I’ve said this before when I’ve been lucky enough to be given an award.  The best thing about being recognized by your fellow bloggers is that you know that like-minded and intelligent people, who are out there busting their balls doing exactly what you are trying to do, are giving you a virtual high-five.  It shows that there is no back-stabbing and bitchiness and that we all are rooting for each other.  I wish I was a better supporter when it came to blogging.  I LOVE the girls who I have on my blogroll and I read their entries daily—but often don’t leave a comment—which sucks because I know it makes MY day when THEY do.  So this award is going to reform me.  Knowing that I have this crown, I have a new duty.  To be a better comment leaver–I mean even the Queen takes the time to write you a letter when you turn 100 (well, she signs her bloody name).  But just know that every day I check up on you guys and I really keep up on your worlds.  In fact, I really want to broaden my horizons and make new blog buddies.  An award like this just reminds me about how important this has to be in my  life because blogging is such an integral part of my routine.  

I have no one new to pass this award on to.  I have recently received an award and dedicated it to everyone on my blogroll.  So, this is what I propose to do with my crown.  I want to dedicate this to the millions of bloggers who give their hearts and souls to their keyboards every day, week, month—sometimes never even getting a hit but always persevering because they love writing and have a passion they must express.  From the guy who writes a new chess move on his blog each day to the fashion photographer who posts her photos and  dreams of becoming the next Sartorialist.  Whatever our desires for doing this are, may they prevail and may all of us be around for a long time.

Thank you again for this wonderful recognition and for making me feel truly like a real Monarch of the Web for the day

Dedicatedly yours, 

—One of 365

What a HUNK! Notice me Charles....me...the girl through the screen...c'mon...you're staring right at me. UGH! You just missed me and caught sight of that Camilla woman. Shame. Now I'm doomed to be a nobody for the rest of my life and you get to play polo and have servants while I get to look for work and earn a pittance but pay 30% taxes so you can travel in a Bentley! BRILLIANT! Oh Charlie. It could have been us.

Dear Ethers,

Tonight I am going to an event where I’m meeting a Prince.  I can’t tell you anything about the red carpet itself (ARGHHH) but that’s not really what the post is about anyway.  It’s about the idea of royalty and a girl who just doesn’t understand the significance of its importance.

For days I’ve been receiving details about security, how to present myself to him when we meet.  Oh and his biography (AKA: a dissertation).  Ethers, you have to remember that I am going to be also interviewing celebrities that would be considered Hollywood royalty—people much more famous and significant than this blue blooded gentleman.  And you know what—all I’ve had to do is IMDB for research–easy.

Growing up as an American I’ve never understood monarchies.  I suppose I understood the tradition, but I never understood the money that they cost and the opulence that they lived in just to do…………what exactly?  I know there are a lot of royalists.  Though having lived in England, it tends to be the older generation that likes the tradition rather than the younger folks.  We just don’t get Liz and Charlie and Hot Ginge and Wills.  Yes, they bring a lot of money in for tourism and that’s great.  But, does that really compensate for the money they cost the taxpayer?  I want to go to China White’s for free and have my Chanel bag stuffed full of 50 pound notes from the taxes of the cleaner on Piccadilly Circus buying me Grey Goose on the rocks all night.  I want my face on porcelain sold in shops around tourist attractions so that people can admire me.  Why…because……well……..why?

I’m not just picking on England.  I just know the monarchy best there.  I really think it’s ALL so ridiculous globally.  I mean, look at the royal families in Saudi Arabia.  They literally have dolphins brought in for parties to be a novelty in their pools where they die afterwards from the chlorine.  They live so opulently, while most of the country is so poor that they wear boiler suits in 100 degree weather fixing roads for $1 an hour.   There are people living in such horrible conditions–in slums and Council Estates.  People who need rehab and don’t have the money.  But, the queen has a “Diamond as Big As The Ritz” that could probably pay for hundreds of her subjects to seek the help they need.  Yet it sits in a vault getting steamed every so often by a royal gem cleaner (another expense) amongst the other masses of jewels she probably doesn’t even know she has.

Monarchies are not today what they were once were.  Elizabeth the 2^nd ain’t no Elizabeth the 1^st and we know it.  So why the hell do we back out of rooms and bow to these old birds?  Why do lords and ladies get estates and benefits that hard-working folks don’t?

So I’ve been instructed that I must curtsy and when introduced say “It is a pleasure to meet you, your Highness.”  I’ve had to practice this several times with a straight face and then without stuttering because I just can’t spit it out.  Classy, right?  It’s wrong of me not to embrace that this is the way this country operates and I have to accept this man for who he is.  I guess running through my veins is the blood of an American with the history of men who signed the Declaration of Independence—a veritable death warrant for a democracy so they could break free from the reigns of a king or a queen.

I know I should be looking at tonight as novel and fun.  And I will—it will all be looked at with a grain of salt.  But in that moment when he comes to me, and I have to curtsy—it will be very serious.  That’s when it becomes real and that’s why this idea came to my mind for a post.

I’m sure a lot of you are going to defend royalty or maybe agree with me about the foolishness of kings and queens.  There are many people who would kill to be in my shoes tonight and would see it as an absolute honor to even touch this mans hands.  I’m just looking at the bigger picture.  The idea of whether or not royalty is a rotting appendage of society.  I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts about this topic.

LOL.  I’m just imagining him showing up in ermine, a crown and shoes with a diamond buckles.  I’m sure he’ll probably be wearing Armani.  Anyway….until then…..I must practice……..so………..how does this sound………….. “It is a pleasure to meet you, your (eeeeeeeeeeek) Highness?”  Not too bad, right?  I hope he doesn’t notice my chewed fingernails.  I have been going through a lot lately.  But I’m only human—and you know what, at the end of the day, DNA-wise, so is he.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

Dear Ethers,

Many of you hoped never to see the fashions of the 1980’s again.  You look at old photographs of yourself, bangs/fringe so high it’s like they are praying to jesus and jeans that are so acid washed you don’t know how your skin wasn’t burned!  But designers have been bringing back the era in a major way—especially with their diffusion lines.  See By Chloe is certainly one that has embraced the time when crimping your hair and “The Lost Boys” were hot stuff!  

There tends to be a rule of thumb.  If you were alive in that era and sporting the clothes, you shouldn’t be pulling out old relics and donning them again. This is a toughie because I think the 80’s weren’t SO far back in time that you couldn’t make it look sassy again.  You just really need to buy the new styles and maybe throw in a few of you old favs. The cuts really make or break you looking like you just stepped out for a fancy dress party or rummaging through your boxed up clothes from 87′, or looking like you’re rocking it 2009 style.  

I decided to go with more of a rocker-chick meets “Hi, I’m a dancer” vibe in my outfit.  I think the top could be modern or hail from that time.  The jeans are TOTALLY 80’s and the bag is just so outrageous–it becomes fabulous because it is part of the nuttiness that the 80’s girls rocked.  The over-the-knee-boot, as I’ve stressed, is SO on-trend right now, but it is paying homage to the 80’s when everyone was shimmying in these kicks.  So, what we’re getting from designers are gorgeous re-invented versions that are much sleeker, richer and modern.  

There were a lot of other looks that I could have chosen from See By Chloe (though I must say, much of the collection was inspired by the 80’s), but I really felt that I wanted to do something that you could go out and dance in, or just look suave whilst shopping.  I wish the designer had more accessories.  If she had–I would have bangled up the arms and done something whacko with the hair–oh, and definitely gone crazy with some fab sunglasses.  But alas, I’ve dolled our 80’s beauty up, and I think she looks pretty wicked!

So pump up some Duran Duran and The Cure, or if it’s more to your liking Paula Abdul—and start getting dressed.  You are gonna, like, look so frickin’ rad dude!

I really fell for this top because I think it's exactly the perfect mix of 80's meets 2009. The material and the tie reminds me of that stiff taffeta of those party dresses that girls wore to their proms. I like how the strapless top plays with the ruching---very 80's. This could be worn with a modern pair of trousers or a high-waisted skirt. But if it's the 80's you're after--go for how I've styled it. Strapless Twill Bustier Top, $385, seebychloe.com

The wash. The ankle length. The tightness. The cut. I mean, seriously, do we even question See By Chloe paying homage to this great era? These jeans are great because you can wear them with trendy ankle booties, fab flats or sandals in warmer weather. But we're gonna do it with MAJOR statement boots. These jeans SO remind me of something Baby would wear in "Dirty Dancing" to practice with (RIP) MR. Swayze. Total dancer jeans. Totally cool. Logo Skinny Jeans, $265, seebychloe.com

I really want over the knee boots. I think these are really cool because they are suede with little brass studs all over them giving a medieval 80's vibe. They are like the pirate boot meets modern rock-star! I think this is the perfect combination of old meets new. Lush fabric, a great cut and a homage to the old style. Sweet with the jeans and top--but also fab with a mini dress and tights. Above The Knee Flat Boots With Studs, $715, seebychloe.com

Ok. Probably none of us would spend a dime on this bonkers bag. But it SO went with the 80's vibe and the outfit: The rock-chick or a huge tote that a dancer would just throw her stuff in. It's just too nuts to imagine and yet it actually was designed (and it ain't cheap!). There's not a lot to say......it's ugly.....I don't want you to think I have bad taste. Just picture a a girl coming out of Pineapple Studios in Covent Garden in this outfit using this as her tote---it kinda works, right? Doggie Bag, $95, seebychloe.com

This IS NOT from See By Chloe. BUT they had no jewelery and though the "Wish List" is strictly only using an outfit that's 100% from one collection, I broke the rules with this one. Why? Because how 80's and perfect would this be to wear around the neck of the black strapless top? It's so tacky but fun, and really is what everyone wore almost 30 years ago! Also, it says Chloe (it's kinda close enough, right?). I also couldn't leave you without ANY baubles! Charm Necklace, Unknown Price, applesofgold.com

I suppose one day you'll see all of me. But, for now, here is an X-Ray image of my teeth (no, they aren't black---I didn't live in England THAT long!) I'm forcing a big old smile that does not come naturally to me. The reason I took this image with this filter on is because at the end of the day, underneath it all, a smile can really just be a facade and a straight face can be a very happy person but one caught in their thoughts. I dunno--a man once told me I'd be attractive if I'd smile more. Here's my story...

Dear Ether,

I was once told by a man that I would be much more attractive if I smiled more.  I wondered, “Did that stop people from approaching me because I looked like a sourpuss?”  When I catch my reflection in a store window or a mirror, I definitely look unapproachable.  My head is often lowered, my cheeks sucked in giving my lips a down-turned pout and sunglasses usually shade my eyes.

I was never the girl who was bought drinks at bars or was approached on streets.  I never got asked out on dates or was flirted with in public.  And I didn’t get it.  I know you guys don’t know what I look like, but you know I’m honest, and I will try and be humble, but I’m not bad looking.  And when I put myself together, I actually look quite nice.  So when I saw girls who I thought were less attractive, I never knew why I wasn’t getting any attention.

You know, some people have a great smile.  Their eyes crinkle beautifully, their teeth glimmer like ivory piano keys that explode in their mouths welcoming you to their face.  Their lips are full and their grin just makes everything more inviting.  When I smile, I lose my upper lip, my eyes almost disappear and it looks like I’m missing my back teeth because my lip casts a shadow over the last few molars.  I just don’t have a pretty smile.

When I had braces, I learned to smile with my mouth shut.  An almost pucker-like smirk.  I look back on these photos and see how dreadful I appear.  My chin juts out, lines gather around my nose and mouth.  No one would ever mistake me for the Cheshire Cat.

After this man suggested this about my appearance, I tried to take heed of his advice.  I actually felt the atrophied muscles in that region struggle and shake trying to hold the pose.  I felt stupid and foolish. After a few tries I gave up and my face relaxed back into its straight-lined position. The thing is, I don’t NOT smile, I just don’t have that kind of cheerful visage.

I will tell you one thing—(and it’s my surprise)—when I laugh—I give it everything I’ve got.  THAT’S when my teeth come out and sparkle and when my eyes shine and you see my dimples.  So, maybe the secret is you’ve got to make me crack-up.  And when you do, maybe I’m really damned beautiful.  So though I’m not on show every minute, what makes me special is that I come out from the woodwork and glitter every once in awhile.  And it’s the people who matter that get to see the really attractive me.  It’s the people who take the time to invest and not just enjoy the ongoing music of the large piano key teeth but maybe some of the flat notes hidden by my skinny excuse for lips.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

This painting is by one of my favorite artists, Sir John Everett Millais. Usually he captures women who are rich and opulent. What I like about this painting is how he is studying a humble seamstress in muted colors. She stares out the window pondering her future and her life. I wonder whatever happened to the sitter in this painting? Did her fingers bleed for the rest of time, becoming rough from years of labor? Did she ever escape the fate of this moment and leap through that window, or was she forever captured in this existence of hers? I wonder, will I ever leave the canvas that life is painting for me? I want to make sure that before the varnish dries, I'm happy with the finished portrait.

Dear Ether,

I had the most magical night on Wednesday with English gent.  He and I have been jonesing for art and culture for some time. We were so used to having our pick of museums and underground do’s in England.  We’ve been sorely missing it.  Los Angeles has a few good museums, but it just isn’t the same vibe as London.  There is The Getty which is more about the museum structure itself than the art and LACMA which has some amazing pieces, but once you go, you sort of have to wait like, 6 months before it changes its scenery.  There is a MOCA, but man is it a schlep!  There are a few other token little museums out there too, but I’m not privy to the art scene here.  One that is amazing is the Huntingon which I’ve been meaning to take English gent to.  The gardens are extraordinary with different themes, and the museum houses a Guttenberg Bible and original manuscripts from famous authors.  Los Angeles also has Frank Lloyd Wright homes you can check out, and I’ve been foolish and haven’t visited those yet.  But, there is nothing like the Tate or the National Gallery in Los Angeles.  I just spent 8 years visiting these places and getting to know them inside out.  The Rodin’s and the Rembrandt’s became old friends and I just miss them so much.  

Knowing our desperation for culture was dire, the Big Apple Beauty, who lives it up museum-wise in NYC, bought us tickets to The Pageantry of the Masters, which is a festival in Laguna Beach (about an hour and half drive from Los Angeles) that is the most remarkable event.  They plan it all year, taking painstaking measures to do the incredible: using live people to re-enact famous paintings using scenery that has been copied perfectly to mimic the artwork.  It is a marvel.  The paintings become 3-dimensional and the characters who play the roles in the famous artwork don’t even breathe, that’s how still they are.  They are literally painted with the exact brush strokes someone like Frieda Kahlo used. Human beings are transformed into art.  They also have a narrator who described the paintings, gives a history of the painter, all while beautiful music like Brahms and Beethoven are played by a live orchestra.  This is all done in an oudoor coliseum under the stars.  It’s simply magical. The amazing thing was none of these actors were being paid.  They were all volunteers.  Though the show only lasts a month (and is sold out a year in advance) the dedication and love for this Pageantry of the Masters is unbelievable.  I was so happy to have been part of the evening.

Laguna is a really interesting town because it is a real artists colony.  Every other store is a gallery and they are famous for paintings called “Plein Air” which literally means in the open air.  Originally started in Europe by the Impressionists trying to capture light from outside, they took their easels into the landscapes they were painting and captured the light as they saw it.  Normally they would sketch outside and then re-create colors as they remembered it in their studios.  But Plein Air allowed them to snag the tones in the moment which added a whole new spectrum of color to paintings changing the way light was looked at forever.  Laguna was the perfect spot because of the flawless weather, the sepia toned landscapes with the bright blue ocean and the warm sun, creating amazing shades of color reflecting off of nature.  These galleries house many of these incredible paintings and they are so unique.  Though the idea of the art came from Europe, I really associated it so much with America.  But maybe this was because the paintings I saw were of American landscapes.  

An example of Plein Air art. Truthfully, it's not my cup of tea. But you can see how the artist captures the landscape and is trying to grasp the light and nature.

I enjoyed seeing artists at work and learning about a new form of art.  We ate lunch outside with the sea as a backdrop and just had a wonderful escape from the drudgery we’ve been experiencing lately.  It’s really funny, as beautiful as Laguna was, both English gent and I felt the same way—that it just wasn’t us.  It was too laid back.  Too calm.  We’re not accustomed to people walking slowly and a more laid back way of life.  We’re so used to the hustle and bustle of a big city, it just seemed too small town.  I think we were happy to visit, but very happy to be going back to Los Angeles (which still doesn’t seem to suffice). 

I hope that English gent and I find our niche.  That we can figure out where we belong.  Like the artists in the paintings caught in a frame, English gent and I also feel like we are stuck in a place we can’t move.  We feel painted into the scenery, but unlike the characters in the Pageantry of the Masters, we don’t get to wipe off the make-up and return to our normal lives.  We are forever on a canvas waiting for our portrait to be finished, but we seem never to be able to get our opus completed.  I dream of being unleashed from my painted life and being free.  I still want to be colorful and creative, just not locked into the landscape.  Like the players in the show, I want to breathe.  

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

PS: I’ve attached a slide show below for you to see behind the scenes of the Pageantry of the Masters. I felt that my description wouldn’t do it justice and I think you need to really see it to understand what it looks like and what goes into making it the marvel that it is. Remember, any people you see in the completed paintings are REAL!  I hope you enjoy!