Dear Ether,

People seemed to really like some examples of some beauty writing that I’ve done in the past.  Well, I just had a freelancing gig and wrote for a pretty famous company (hence the XXX when you see them in the writing below) about shaving and self-tanners.  I worked with the advertising and promotions teams to create an advertising page for the magazine promoting  2 beauty products.  Basically a magazine and a brand will work together to get a product(s) promoted without making it too obvious by having it mesh with the editorial feel of the magazine.  You’ll usually see in the upper-right hand corner of the page, “Advertisement.”  But if you can pull it off, sometimes you can get the reader to think it’s part of the mag and that’s when you can really hit home and maybe get the sell.  I did this for two brands.  “Billy Jealousy,” a shaving product and “Mystic Tan,” a self-tanning product.  You’ll see how I write the pieces as if they are 100% editorial, but I am promoting their products ONLY.  Clever, eh?  This was for one pretty famous beauty supplier who was advertising in a mag.  So here you go and enjoy.  I think it’s fun and I enjoyed writing it.  And, you do learn about self-tanning and shaving.  It is, in theory,  really and editorial piece.  I just used specific brands rather than brands of my own choosing.  It’s amazing how many elements go in to making a magazine, right?  Anywhooooo…the fun part is when you see it laid out.  Have a great Sunday and I will see you for the “Wish List” tomorrow.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

Self-Tanners: 

Mystic Tan's Perfect Tan Kit, $54, Sephora.com

Self-tanning has always been tricky.  When the first products came on the market we were left with a radioactive tangerine tint that made us look more George Hamilton than groovin’ with a J-Lo glow.  But since those “dark days,” products have evolved.  Cutting- edge brands like Mystic Tan have given natural-looking hues to almost 200 million people.  XXXX is delighted to carry Mystic Tan’s new luxe line of DIY products that have revolutionized the self-tanning world.  Their collection includes the Perfect Tan Kit Body, Perfect Tan Kit Face, Sunless Tanning Spray Face and Body, Sunless Enhancing Moisturizer Body and Shimmer Face.  [Pssst!] If you’ve ever envied Jessica Simpson’s golden skin, Mystic Tan is her secret.

But no matter how “golden” the self-tanner becomes, the application process is not always fail-safe.  So…Welcome to Self-tanner 101!  

The first step for any self-tanning guru is exfoliation.  Removing dead skin cells is key because you don’t want dry zones like knees and elbows to collect tanner and make the product appear dark, muddy and uneven. Now, here comes the fun part…the application!  But be wary.  Many of us have earned the Scarlet Letter of self-tanners: discolored palms (the true sign of a novice).  A helpful hint: Use latex gloves for application.  Worried about having white hands?  Problem solved. All you need to do is rub the backs of your palms with self-tanner in a clockwise direction.  Works every time!  

Okay. Body exfoliated?  Latex gloves snapped on?  You’re ready!  Believe it or not, this is the easy part.  Using gentle, long strokes, apply the tanner as evenly as possible along your skin.  A great tip is to add a dollop of moisturizer to the tanner, making the product a bit more malleable and therefore easier to apply.  This is also excellent for tan enhancement, because it helps saturate the color into your skin.   

So you’ve tanned yourself, and you’re wondering, “what now?”  Well, don’t allow your skin to get near water for at least 4 hours.  Also, this stuff can stain!  If you’re planning to throw on that white Prada maxi-dress right away, that’s a huge no-no.  

If you have the time to tan and set during the day, more power to you.  But the ideal time is just before you turn in for the night.  Then you can shower off the residual product in the morning.  (To protect your sheets, wear a scruffy pair of old pj’s.)  This is ideal because you maximize the amount of tan time allowing, for the deepest color possible, and you don’t have to worry that any of the above uh-oh’s will happen.  

So now that you’re tan and gorgeous, all you have to do is maintain your new radiance.  Moisturizing is key, because it keeps skin from sloughing off and also prolongs your beautiful bronze.  Use Mystic Tan’s Sunless Enhancing Moisturizer Body that provides offers a subtle amount of color while keeping skin hydrated.  

(Okay. That’s it.) You glow, girl! 

Shaving: 

Billy Jealousy Hydroplane Super-Slick Shave Cream $20 sephora.com

We all—men and women alike– have nightmare stories about shaving. Many a prom night photo has been ruined by guys with Band-Aids slapped over razor burns.  And surely there have been countless summer BBQ’s where girls showed up in pants instead of cute new dresses because they had a shaving fiasco.  

The simple fact is we didn’t have the “cutting-edge” razors that populate the market today–razors with names that sound like launch vehicles designed by NASA!  Well, we’ve come a long way from that scary man in the barbershop wielding a straight edge blade, a leather strop and a shaky hand.  What’s so exciting about this razor revolution are all the brilliant products that have arrived to help us in the fine art of shaving. Creams, waxes, oils, foams—even lasers! 

XXXX’s team of specialists is always on hand to help you select the shaving option that’s perfect for you (and we’ve got quite a selection).  And now we’ve found something genuinely unique that’s going to make any shaving aficionado “jealous.”  Hint: it also won Best Shaving Cream at Esquire’s 2007 Grooming Awards.   Oh, and George Clooney is a fan.  Care to read on? 

Hydroplane, by Billy Jealousy, is a foamless shave cream that lubricates the skin to give you the closest shave possible while also protecting against razor burn, nicks, bumps and ingrown hairs.  A little goes a long way with this 8oz. bottle, because it miraculously gets slicker and more powerful as you add warm water to it.  As we all know–ouch!–shaving can leave a burning sensation but Hydroplane provides a pleasant cooling effect as it performs its magic.  The formula includes micro-silicon beads that have a slight exfoliation action–also fantastic for an ultra-soft finish because it sloughs off dead skin cells.  And with chamomile and aloe to keep skin calm and humectants to preserve moisture, it’ll give you the happiest skin on the planet.  Because Hydroplane is perfect for every skin type, all you have to do is massage onto face, shave, and rinse with cool water.  And, because it’s such a smooth product, women are grabbing it off the shelves after rave reviews from the men in their lives.  Hey, if a guy can steal your shampoo and conditioner, why can’t you steal his shaving cream? 

XXXXXX’s Tick List: Do’s and Don’ts of Shaving  

1. Always shave with warm water.  The best time is after a steaming, hot shower.  Or, ladies, a great time to shave is IN a steaming, hot shower!
2. Make sure you have a sharp blade.  Dull blades are going to tear skin, cause ingrown hairs and create razor burn.
3. Never shave against the grain (even though we’re tempted because we think we’re getting a closer and quicker shave: we’re actually causing small cuts to the skin that could lead to infection and ingrown hairs).
4. When you’re finished shaving, always rinse with cool water.  This closes the pores and calms the skin.
5. Moisturize! Use an after-shave balm, lotion or cream and avoid anything alcohol based (unless you want to encourage burning!).
6. Don’t be cheap!  Sometimes things are worth spending a little extra money on.  That bag of 100 razors for 99 cents is priced that way for a reason.  Invest in a quality razor and a well-researched product.

The "Minus" Touch. Don't let this PR phenomenon fool you. It's not all it's cracked up to be---well, actually it is, if you like skin that looks like you have scabies. Are you shocked. Read on, I have a good explanation...don't get angry with me yet

Dear Ether,

So, you know by now that I’m a magazine writer.  But I don’t know if I’ve made it absolutely clear that my forte is beauty.  I can write a tear-jerking features piece, a cracking fashion story, but when it comes to all things beauty, I shine (never my nose of course, that I always powder). 

Today I’m going to share with you the deadliest beauty weapon on the planet.  I’m sure that I’m going to receive hate mail, be banned from France and all YSL beauty counters (actually, I’m an anonymous blogger, phew, so I’m still in the good books with Sarkozy, PR’s and Barney’s). No, but seriously, I’m lucky I can finally speak out against this product because people need to be aware of how dangerous it can be. 

Are you ready for the shocker of your life? 

It’s……….YSL Touche Éclat.  

What!! Gasps!  I know, it’s appalling since it’s a worldwide best seller and put YSL on the map for being numero uno in the world of highlighters and concealers.  

I remember the day I obtained my golden wand in the post years ago and was so keen to try this marvel everyone had been raving about.  I received #2 “Luminous Ivory” (the most universal for the majority of skin colors—the product comes in four shades—#1 Luminous Radiance for very pale skin, #2 as mentioned above, #3 “Light Peach” for medium skin and #4 “Luminous Toffee” for darker skin tones) and took out my glistening pen, ready to start clicking.  I stared at the white brush as the nude colored pigment filled its bristles.  I was eager and geared up to apply.  

Now, as a girl in her twenties who has terrible insomnia (which causes serious panda eyes) this product was tremendously appealing. In fact, after reading the reviews and hearing the PR spiel, it sounded like the answer to my prayers.  Gleefully, I took my magnified mirror (whoa, those are scary—have you ever really looked at yourself in one of those—you can actually count your pores—let’s not get into that in this entry—too depressing) and painted the magical fluid on my face expecting to look like a “revived” me.  At first I looked like a ghost.  Nothing to fear yet. I’ve worked with worse before.  If I add powder on top and then a bit of bronzer, a touch of eye-makeup—it usually all blends beautifully.  But my usually flawless formula didn’t work.   Touche Éclat made my very warm brown eyes look tres vacant.  I looked expressionless.  Not a good sign. 

I could have put Touche Éclat aside and said, “meh” and never thought about it again.  But….what happened next, well, THIS is why I’m writing this warning entry.  THIS is why Touche Éclat is a weapon of mass destruction.  

3 hrs later I started feeling hideous burning under my eyes.  I looked in the mirror and saw that my skin had started to flake and peel and my peepers were bloodshot.  Holy shit!  This stuff of “dreams” had become my nightmare.  Using the most gentle make-up remover I could find (we’re talking calendula infused with aloe and chamomile), I applied the liquid to my face but it had the effect of battery acid.  The searing of my sockets when the remover touched my skin was so hideous I actually started to cry. 

Flash forward 4 days.  I can’t wear any cover-up, I look like I have hideous eczema, and I’m going to PR parties looking like a monster.  I’m donning eyeglasses so big Ray Charles would be shocked (if he could see).  When I tell my story to everyone I know because I’m forced to explain that I don’t have contagious conjunctivitis, they say they TOO have had this happen.  Huh!?  We’re all shocked at this revelation.  This best-selling product that people swear-by has wreaked havoc on so many of us Beauty Editor’s….why has no one written about it?  Why have we let this happen to our fellow woman!?

I launch into a full-fledged research project about this product, and little by little I start seeing reviews about Touche Éclat and how others have had the same horrible reaction that mimicked mine.  There are tons of us—this magic wand can be a witch’s stick!

So, my word of advice.  Before you lay down 40 bucks (before tax) and put the goop on with confidence before a hot date, and then 3 hrs later end up looking like you have pink eye, get a patch test done at the YSL counter.  Have the woman give you a sample of the product or have her apply it to your eye area and wait 24 hours.  If you like it, and you don’t have a breakout, then you’re one of the many lucky ones who can use this product.  But, if you’re like one of the underground Touche Éclat lepers like myself, don’t risk something like your wedding day to try out this product and end up with photos where you look like a wildebeest whose been crying all day.  Radiant Touch…humph….more like Touch of Evil. 

Leave me a comment if you have suffered from a Touche Éclat moment. Or, if you think I’m totally bonkers and you love the stuff (I have a feeling I’ll be hearing a lot more from you guys….we lepers tend to stay closeted). 

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

PS: Don’t forget!  Tomorrow is “Fashion Friday!”  This is installment number two.  Last week was a vintage vibe.  This week is something totally different—well, the type of clothing is, but maybe not the actual items.  Cryptic?  Stay tuned to find out and check in tomorrow.  This time please VOTE!