Welcome to the Vintage Valentino catwalk in L.A.! I promised you if I could take pics I would and so I'm here to deliver. I'm usually under a tight-lipped contract so I can't share anything glam with you guys, but because I went as a civilian and not a reporter, I could spill all. Enjoy the show

Dear Ethers,

When I go to any ritzy event it always has a catch—I have to work.  I hope one day to be able to attend a glam party or a wonderful opening based on the generosity of creative friends or because I have the money to afford to buy a ticket.  But as it stands, the only way I get into things is by covering them as a journalist.  It was much better in London when I was a beauty writer.  I didn’t have to deal with celebs at parties ever and when there was an actual party, not just a small tea, it was really contained and lovely. In L.A. it’s not like that.  The events I go to are like mad, “Girls Gone Wild” parties.  Often there can be sweaty, drunk dancing involved and celeb groupies.

On Thursday evening I was given a VIP front row seat to the Vintage Valentino show that was being held at Downtown Los Angeles Fashion Week.  Here in the States, L.A. Fashion Week is considered a joke (sad).  So I wasn’t asked to cover anything anyway.  But this lovely person had bought this ticket and at the last minute couldn’t go and I was the lucky tush that got her seat.  I love Valentino.  I own “The Last Emperor” on DVD and haven’t watched it yet.  But I think his clothes are spectacular and I felt honored to attend.  It was also going to be great seeing the red carpet from afar and lovely not to have to rush home and be up until 5am transcribing my interviews.

I didn’t have anything even close to couture, let alone Valentino couture, and I was sitting in the front row!  But, I had a hunch that this being L.A. and not the hottest of fashion meccas, that if I looked snazzy enough, I’d be okay.  So, I put on a really fab All Saints top that is very Westwood, did my eyes up in fab colors going with my Russian Revolution trend (Read Russian Revolution post for the hottest beauty trend this fall!) and did my hair so I could put in a peacock feather headband that went with my trend alert for hair adornments (Read “Tress-Chic” post for the hottest trends for hair this fall!).  This old set of digits didn’t look half bad

I’m not in the best state at the moment due to work anxiety and was really nervous about showing up to a party without anyone.  A lot of these folks knew each other or were in the biz and so I sort of wandered around aimlessly (though some people were very kind and stopped to chat with me about my top!).  L.A. is such a weird place when it comes to getting dressed.  I arrived looking very London I suppose, and they came looking like—I dunno—I hate to say it—but very…errrmmm…seductive.  The girls were either really blinged out or wearing skin-tight, short dresses with their business hanging out.  And the make-up—oh my god!  Talk about caked on!  It’s just a different beast out here.

Anyway, I was led to my seat which was in a prime location, and it had a goodie bag sitting on it (always fun).  There were Coca-Cola girls in red-sequined dresses walking around with trays of soda for our comfort and it was really laid back.  The opening act for the show was a Brit named Matt Goss.  He has a show in Vegas and he is like a funky Frank Sinatra.  He was amazing!  His music rocked and he had showgirls that danced around him—he gave 100% and it was brilliant.

Our lovely Coke girl and you can see the front row and the goodie bags!!!

I have never heard of him, but evidently he's #13 in the UK charts and has a big show at the Palms in Las Vegas. Anyway, the guy was great and his dancers were very sexy!

Then the catwalk show began.  I was so let down.  You’ll see by the pics what I mean.  Valentino must have a conservatory of clothes that would make any fashionista’s heart stop.  The woman who threw the fashion show actually had collected and owned all the pieces so I understand that Valentino hadn’t leant or chosen the clothes himself.  But my god, the choices were atrocious.  The theme was red and black (never a good move) and the era’s were a mess.  Some of the dresses looked like bad 80’s disasters that I’m sure Maestro Valentino wished never resurfaced.  And the way they were styled!  The girls looked like they were Christmas tress with ornaments on them. The models were so second rate.  They had bad skin, they walked poorly, their faces were “whatever.”  And whoever did their make-up—I could have done better!  It looked like they had grease paint smeared on as foundation with heavy red lips and heavy black eyes.  That’s so dated! The hair looked oily and matted—it was bad.  I saw all of the faces in the front row and everyone was in shock!!!   The show had 2 dresses that I would have liked—but not pined for—and in a fashion show—you should be drooling.  I’ll show you the dresses that burnt my eyeballs out of their sockets they were so ugly first and at the end of my post, I’ll show you the two dresses I liked.  Here goes:

I wouldn't have been caught dead in this when it was created! And the model--seriously?

I don't know if this was Valentino's take on a Spanish-style dress gone-80's but OMG! It looks like it is a costume. And so tacky!!!

I think if they threw some tinsel and some candy canes on her it would have been perfect! Ugh and look at her make-up.

I had to include this because I was wondering if Valentino was even trying when he created this and also whomever picked the model to wear this---did they not see it didn't fit her well? Oh, and I'm sorry again to be cruel, but does SHE have the face of a model to you?

The end of the show--thank god! Look how Goth and scary they look. This would have Valentino crying off all of that orange paint he has on his face!

Afterwards, I had a cocktail, spoke to a few people, had a person I knew from the media take a photo of ME on the red carpet with my camera (very funny) and I drove home pleased as punch that I got out and could kick off my heels—but gave the night a fair go.  I wish evenings like that were more common for me…just nice and chilled out.

If you’re wondering what was in the goodie bag, it was very disappointing.  The goodie bags in L.A. are so second rate compared to Blighty! Let’s see, there was a brand of skincare I never heard of that gave a night serum, wipes for your pet, a sample size of Paul Mitchell hair cream, foot petals for your heels and a CD from Matt Goss that I got him to sign for my brother.  I think they could have AT LEAST put SOMETHING Valentino in there!

Anywhooo….I’m thrilled to be able to actually share what a night out for me is like in L.A.  Leave me a comment to let me know what you thought about the show and that you agree the models are DIRE!  Enjoy and I’ll see you tomorrow with my own bit of fashion with a brand new “Wish List.”

PS: Here are the 2 dresses I liked:

I really liked this because of the layering, the material and the adorable cape. Do I think it is pure genius? No. But it is pretty damned cute and I'd dig it if someone bought it for me But really, it's the cape that makes it.

This is the only dress that said "Valentino" to me. It was his classic red. It was perfectly cut. It was feminine and elegant and wait till you see the back. This is a dress that would blow a man away when he opened the front door to pick you up for a black-tie affair.

You make a great entrance, but man, look at that exit. Your ass looks like heaven and your shoulders and back are stellar. This is an A+ and I'm not surprised they ended the show with this. Perfection.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

I think wigs have come a LONG way from these beauties! I discovered what I would do if I got a NEW "do" after trying on a wig that I never thought would take my fancy. I always imagined myself a blonde....sighhh......

Dear Ether,

My mom’s friend has a fun wig collection.  Not the cheap, crummy kind that you wear for fancy dress, but natural looking wigs that you would never know weren’t real.  Sadly, she had cancer.  BUT, she was one of these women who had a fantastic attitude and embraced her baldness. She decided to have the hairstyles she could never achieve with her natural coif.

Well, thank goodness she is 100% better, and her lovely grayish-blonde hair has grown back with luster. BUT she still has these fab (and might I say expensive) wigs hanging around that she likes to play with.  I was at her house the other day and she took me to her closet.  Sitting on busts were about 6 styles and colors that were tantalizing.  Blonde, black, chestnut and red.  Short, long, layered and curly.  She had the works!

I’ve never tried on a wig before because often places make you pay to do it.  Or they just say no because you obviously aren’t interested in making a purchase.  This time I had free reign!  I don’t know why, but I immediately gravitated towards the blonde bombshell with light streaking.  I was always jealous of the girls who had blonde hair in High School and dreamt of having glittering wisps of gold attached to my head—so on it went!  Here’s the problem.  I have really dark eyebrows, so I looked atrocious because the wig was SO blonde and my eyebrows were SO dark.  However, I didn’t think with my skin color I look too bad as a blonde. But my eyes are also very dark brown.  I looked too yin and yang.   Maybe if I dyed the brows—but then my lovely hair would be fried and cracking off, and my eyebrows would have roots!!!!!  A definite no-no.

The red was tres-saucy.  I used to dye my hair auburn.  I was trying to conjure Julia Roberts circa “Pretty Woman” and it was groovy at the time—or so I thought.  When I look back at pictures, I ask myself how my hairdresser could do that to me!  But this red was a brilliant color and short.  It worked well with my brows and after a decade of long hair, my adult face looked kinda sweet with a short bob.  But then I thought—oooo—this is a little too “I’m on the brink of 30 and I have to grow up look,” so I said NAY!

Can I tell you the one that was perfect?  One that I NEVER thought I would EVER choose? The pixie cut in my own shade–brown!  It matched my hair color perfectly and it was short–just like how Victoria Beckham did it.  It was such an extreme from my long hair that it really was a shocker.  It showcased my face beautifully and it also seemed so easy to manage.  I didn’t have any wild pieces flying anywhere or un-brushed bits that made me look poorly groomed.  My mom’s friend said it was always styled and perfectly polished—it was the easiest wig of them all.  I have a pretty angular face and it fit well with my facial structure—it almost convinced me to lop my hair off right there and then.

The offer stands if I ever want to borrow it I can, and I am so going to take her up on it.  I just wish I had someone who I could really shock.  I took digital pics so English gent saw me with it (LOVED IT).  But I can’t show YOU Ethers!  Anyway, my advice: For a fun day out, go and try on a wig.  You may be surprised what looks good on you and what your next hair-do is going to be!  If I ever chop this lengthy mop of mine off, it’s gonna be 100% pixie for me.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

I'm not going to say much, because it'll ruin the story. But see this girl. She looks somewhat surprised, but not in a "I'm going to kill myself because someone shaved off all of my hair" kinda way. Well. This photo could have been me....but with a VERY different expression on ol' One of 365's face. Seriously---don't ever fuck with my hair.

Dear Ethers, 

OH MY GOD.  I have the CRAZIEST story to tell you.  Right.  So, you know how I’m always going on about my hair and its length.  I mean, by this time you know the diameter of each follicle.  But you also know how much I treasure it.  I swore the only way I would ever cut my hair is if I became destitute and it was the last thing I had to pawn to eat that night. 

So, I had straightened my hair for an event and had been wearing it down because I usually don’t take much care to make a fuss over it (you know, tying it in a messy bun etc…) and wanted to work my “do.”  I’m walking down the street and this woman comes up to me and says, “You have the most beautiful hair.”  Well, of course I was pleased and thanked her very much.  But she went on.  “Is that your natural color?”  I politely responded, “Yes, it’s my own.”  “So you don’t use any dyes at all?” Okay, now not only was I getting annoyed, but I was getting weirded out.  I said, “Look, I’m real busy…” and she cut me off and started telling me that she worked for this charity called “Locks of Love” and they were really desperate for donors because all of the salon owners were paying a fortune to girls and it was the recession. 

Now, I’m not saying I’m the most benevolent person in the world, but I do give to certain charities.  But they are ones that I choose and that I approach.  I make it a policy NEVER to give to charities on streets or on the phone.  I like to do my research on the net and donate via e-mail.  But regardless, where was this woman’s badge?  Who the hell was she?  And I’m sure “Locks of Love” didn’t have a bombard you policy that freaked young women out on the street.  

I calmly told her that I had no intention of cutting my hair and that I would appreciate her leaving me alone as I felt this was very inappropriate.  Now, a normal person would walk away.  Oh no, this lady got PISSED.  “Don’t you care about kids with cancer?  Women who’ve been burned and lost parts of their scalp?”  Did I mention I’m standing on a street where there were cafes and people were staring at us?  I just started walking away—but she followed.  I started to reach for my cell phone and my keys. 

And then I felt a tug. 

My whole body went numb and I swear to god for a second I thought she took out shears and lopped my hair off. 

I spun around and screamed at her to never fucking touch me again and that I was dialing 911.  I’ve never seen a skinny woman with a bob-cut run so fast in my whole life. 

When I got home I called “Locks of Love” and told them my story.  And Ethers, I’m not joking (and you might think I’m a pussy) I was crying.  I think they were afraid I was going to sue for assault charges.  But the truth is I didn’t have the woman’s name and they said they have so many volunteers that even with my description of her, it was hopeless. 

I think “Locks of Love” do a wonderful thing and I do not want to incriminate them for one woman’s insane breakdown.  But I have to tell you that I will never forget that moment.  I did wonder if that woman was really from “Locks of Love” because they told me that dyed hair WAS acceptable though bleached wasn’t.  And if the lady had cut my hair without it being in a braid or ponytail first she would have done it for nothing—they can’t accept it loose.  Oh and FYI, if you ever DO want to donate, your hair needs to be 10” tip-tip minimum (and they do request it to be clean, thank you very much).  

Later that night I took a shower, used my special Kerastase shampoo that I pull out for special occasions and my Redkin conditioner that is for VERY special moments, and lathered up grateful for something to still be attached to my head.  My waves re-appeared, and as my hair dried, up it went into its lazy bun happy to be protected.  I was just so happy to have given my OWN locks some love that night when it all could have been snipped away by some nutter with a bad bowl cut.  Sheesh.  Only in L.A. 

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

A woman scorned...tsk tsk. But there is a first for everything. And my short, little tale will tell you the time that I SHOULD have looked more like the girl in this picture, but in my timid youth I allowed myself to be stood upon. No longer. My big mouth might get me into trouble sometimes. And things may be rocky with English gent. But every day I aim to NOT be a woman scorned ever again (fuck you Mr. X).

Dear Ethers,

When I was in College in the States (which I HATED and subsequently made me move to England) I was invited to a dance.  I was really young when I think about it now.  I had just turned 18, I had never had a boyfriend.  I mean, this was BIG.  The school I went to was old for American standards, being from the early 1800’s (it even had a slave tunnel that ran underneath it for underground escapees!) and it was done up in a beautiful gothic style.  Trust me, it was THE ONLY endearing thing about the place.  The dance was black tie and was to take place in one of the old halls that had probably seen balls and banquets where ladies and gents had gotten their tails and hoop skirts out before there was TV, an iPod or the Polio vaccine.  

I wasn’t particularly keen on the boy who asked me.  He was about 2 years my senior and I barely knew him.  He was the older brother of a girl who was in my dorm and since I really was very inexperienced with guys, I felt very anxious.  But, I was committed to the fact that this was part of what college was about and I had to go for it.  I’ve always had a very slim frame and a nice height, especially in heels.  I probably weighed about 110lbs and in my lovely red Betsey Johnson wedges (very 1940’s, Rita Hayworth) I was about 5’9.  I wore a black strapless LBD.  I had gone and had my hair done and went to Stila for my face to be made up.  I really went all out.  For a girl who had never had her dance card even penciled in, I felt it might be a full night with names marked in lead on my sheet. 

The arrangement was to meet outside of the Dance Hall at 8pm.  This was before cell phones were really popular so neither of us had one.  Lickety-split, I sprayed some special perfume my mom gave me, gave a last look in the mirror, took a deep inhale, and walked alone to see him.  I could see girls were looking at me and other guys were admiring me.  It made me feel shy.  Again, I hadn’t yet embraced being an adult yet and many of these kids were from Manhattan or Seniors in college and had come into their own—I felt like a kid.

8:15.  8:30. 9pm.

He never showed.  

I stood outside watching other couples happily enter the building where you needed a ticket to get in (he was in possession of those). I heard the music playing from inside and the loud chatting over it.  Glasses clinking.  Why did I wait a full hour? 

I had a red pashmina that I wrapped around my shoulders and walked home humiliated.  I didn’t want to be seen by anyone in the dorms because I didn’t want to tell anyone what happened.  Nowadays, oh, if I could step back into that One of 365 body and tell her what to do, that night would be SO different, but Ethers, I was crushed. 

I remember staring in the mirror at my beautifully made up face and seeing my eyes well with tears and thinking, “What a shame, my make-up will be ruined.”  But then I realized there was no occasion for it to look nice.  I slowly unzipped my dress, sat on my bed and undid the ankle-straps on my shoes.  I took the pins out of my hair, each wound up piece unraveling onto my shoulders.  I could have called home that night or spoke to a friend, but I think this was a right of passage for me.  Being stood up.  No one could console me anyway from 3,000 miles away. 

I got into bed and thought of those couples still in that old Hall dancing away.  I wondered why he didn’t show or leave a note?  Door locked, side light table on, I picked up a book and read until drowsiness stole me away and my alarm woke me for classes.  I wasn’t very popular so no one really asked how it went.  But then I saw him (it was a VERY small school).  I sort of cocked my head in wonderment with a quizzical look on my face.  He was sitting in the café with a group of friends.  I know he saw me, and he chose to ignore me. And I didn’t even know what I did wrong.  And to my dying day, I’ll NEVER know.

It was the first time in my life that a boy had hurt me.  And though he really had no deep meaning because I didn’t care about HIM, per se, it was the feeling of being jilted by the opposite sex.  We all remember our first kiss, our first “time,” our wedding and so on.   But do we all remember the first time we got stood-up?  I still have those Betsey Johnson wedges and still wear that strapless LBD.  And you know what, another guy eventually came and dipped me and put his hand on the small of my back in that outfit and I DID get my dance.  It all worked out in the end.  But I do wonder………..what WAS that boy thinking leaving an 18 year old girl standing out in the cold on that October evening?  And, 10+ years later, I wonder, has he ever thought about me?  Funny how someone can be an influence on your life, but you can make no impact on theirs.  And do you know what’s even crazier?  Even though it’s been a decade, I can still close my eyes and see myself in that mirror with fewer lines on my forehead, features less sharp—and yes—still a virgin (oh boy, sooner or later I suppose I’ll have to reveal that tale to you guys–I mean, do you even want to hear it?) thinking that 30 seemed dreadfully old.  And hearing my now 93-year old grandmother say, “It all goes by in a flash.”  My god, what a simple memory can conjure.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

Dear Ether,

I’m the type of girl who normally just throws her hair in a loose bun and runs out of the house, long strands flying loose in my wake.  Often people are surprised when I unravel my tresses and see that I have extremely long locks.  “You look so much better with it down!”  Sigh.  I know I do, Ethers, but I’m lazy.  I just can’t be asked to try with my hair.  Such effort!  But after looking at hair trends this season, I’m going to get my act together and ban the bun!  It’s all about fun and creativity and I can’t wait to make the most of my mane!

Look at the turquoise and metal meshed together in this spectacular head piece from Dolce & Gabbana. It just livens up a simple center part and makes an incredible statement. No need for any jewelry with this on your head!

Embellishments for the hair, whether long or short, are in style and I am so excited about the variety of goodies out on the market.  There’s everything from ribbons made from luxurious fabrics to be tied in oversized bows to thick headbands with exotic and colorful feathers.  And I’m in love with clips bejeweled in an eye-catching array of sparkles so your hair appears as precious as if adorned with real gemstones.

This is so perfect for the "Russian Revolution" look that is on the runways of Chanel. I love the stones and the different fabrics like satin and grosgrain. This will liven up any dead-do.

This trend is a real blast from the past.  In the 1920’s flappers wore fantastic headpieces that dangled and danced as fast as they did the Charleston. In the Victorian era, women wore jet, tortoiseshell, and ivory hair combs that had spectacular carvings that fanned out in their elegant coifs.  Oh, and we mustn’t forget the days of Marie Antoinette!  What wonderful creations she fashioned for the times.  She even wore a sailboat as an adornment in her hair!

We always talk about fly-away hair. Ms. Antoinette had "sail-away" hair. Amazing!

A beautiful tortoiseshell Victorian hair comb. This one is in a fan shape. If you can get your hands on one of these in a antiques shop it would be your "crowning" achievement.

At Givenchy, models were wearing hair stick-straight with stiff-ribbon Alice-Bands in the mid-section of their heads. Severe, yet chic.  Dolce & Gabbana had luxurious turquoise gems and metal bauble headbands tied with satin ribbon onto a center part. Their hair was done up in an intricate bun in the back.  The show “Gossip Girl” has been making use of the head band with its good girl/bad girl character Blair.  She wears the most fab pieces and  many of them have gone missing (wink) after a days shoot.  Even celebs are getting in on the action.  Nicole Ritchie has been sporting the happening-hippie hair look with her self-designed “House of Harlow” chain band that conjures a Cleopatra-esque feel to it.  Mischa Barton has just come out with her own line of halo-like bands and girls like Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Lily Allen have been tweaking their tresses as well.

Here's our girl Ms. Ritchie sporting her signature golden band that uniquely drapes around her beautifully tousled hair. I love the Boho-Chic aspect of her look.

WOWZA! Look at the selection Mischa Barton has created for her new collection! These really remind me of the roaring 20's!

"Gossip Girl" was always a-HEAD of the game when it came to adornments for the hair. Look at this array! Jealous?

I personally love the dressy version of the look.  I think it’s great to do the hippie, braided style for a casual day out, but what I think is so special about this trend is that it dresses up your hair and makes it unique.  You don’t always have to be  big and over-the-top with a black-tie look.  A little Swarovski clip in your hair is understated and elegant.  An embellished hair-tie is a perfect touch or even just tying a funky patterned bow in a half part through your hair instead of leaving it down gives it that extra zip.

If any of you are thinking, “This is a look that is too young for me,” you’re wrong!  Any gal at any age can wear her hair up in a chignon with a beautiful comb in an elegant design.  It adds to the beauty of your style, and it is certainly not too immature.  In fact, it’s a classic.  Another lovely look for a more mature woman would be a low clip holding the hair with some beautiful stones attached.  Designer hair baubles are a great way to go if you want a bit of trendiness with just a touch of bling.

This signature Chanel camelia hair comb is classic. It's perfect for any age and is timeless and versatile.

So whether you go a la Marie Antoinette and really go for a “hair-raising” experience or more subtle like old Queen Vic and keep it cool and collected, treat yourself to a little bit of sass this season.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365