Blecchhh. Tell me about it, Banksy.

Dear Ether,

4 days of rain the forecast.  Yep.  Dark days ahead.  As you know, I suffer from terrible seasonal affective disorder and the dark, wet skies aren’t going to make things pleasant.  These are the days that I wonder what the point of being in “sunny California” is?  Yeah, yeah.  I know I can’t have good weather all year round, but when it rains here, I find this place to have very few endearing qualities.  

When it starts to hit heavy, I tend to put on Bach, light a candle and stay under the covers.  But, I have a serious deadline for a huge feature due on Monday.  The feature is on a subject that’s–well–let’s just say it isn’t rocket science.  Yet, it requires a ton of accurate research and pressure and when you can’t stand the subject you’re writing about, it becomes utter agony. This, coupled with the weather is gonna be a toughie to pull off.

I’ll try not to be a miserable git.  I can’t promise the happiest of posts, but hopefully you guys will act as a nice break from the monotony of writing about a certain brand of shoes that are anything but glamorous.   In fact, I’d like to give this article the “boot.”  

To all my fellow Jewish friends, Hanukkah starts tomorrow!  Awwww, how lovely.  So, for those of you who get there before I do (living in a different time zone) spin a dreidel for me and eat a tasty latke!  

Not much to this entry.  Just wanted to check in and let you know I still had a pulse.  I’m exhausted from doing research and speaking to “experts” about vacuous things.  I’m hoping my next assignment will be a nice reward–a piece with some depth to make up for this moronic topic.  Hey, you win some, you lose some.  For example, my book feature comes out this Sunday.  Can’t wait!  I wrote over 2,500 words and reviewed 14 books (hey, I got attached and couldn’t choose!). My Editor told me 3 books would be cut (sniffle).  I wait with SERIOUS angst to see which ones got sliced (again, major attachment issues).  After the bad boy is published I’ll tell you what books I recommended (really fab and unique stuff that is tick list worthy for gifts!).  

A more boisterous post tomorrow I hope.

YAWWWWN! STREEEETCH!  (I think I just felt my Quasimodo lump snap!) 

Time to hit the hay a bit early.  Guten Nacht gang.  I begin early tomorrow (and you KNOW how much I love to rise and shine).

PS: Sorry I haven’t Tweeted in a while.  Will be back on form once this fucking piece is done!  I’m also trying my best with comments.  Do be patient…please

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

No--this is not me. But it is exactly how I feel. Totally swallowed by BOOKS!!!!!

Dear Ether,

I sit here, brain hurting, surrounded by books and press releases and scared to death.  I have a feature due.  It’s a holiday gift guide for fashion and style books.  Not only did most of the PR’s send a lot of the books too late, but summarizing them in a witty, short, concise manner is really eating away at me. And books are my thing!  I have to do 14 titles and I have only written 4.  I am mentally taxed from this and really worried that I have writer’s block.  I can’t NOT do it.  That’s just not an option.  Yes, it WILL get written.  But the quality has to be 110% and I’m just out of sorts.  

So–that’s why I’ve been out of touch.  I’m so sorry.  I should have written earlier.  But I’ve been inundated with this.  Yesterday, the idea of looking at my blog was horrifying.  I couldn’t even think to write another summary let alone a blog post.  

I REALLY want to start commenting on zillions of other blogs and making new sphere connections.  I want to write lengthy replies to the generous comments that I love so much that you leave me.  But all of a sudden I have this nasty assignment that is, for the first time, not working with me.  So, for you bloggers who I regularly visit…..I’m not being an asshole.  I just am offline.  And for you lovely folks leaving comments…….again……….not being an asshole……..just offline.  By the weekend I won’t feel like Atlas anymore.  God Damn….what you gotta do to make a buck these days.  

Okay.  Back to writing up a $550 Chanel book (yep!) and a lovely set of Penguin Classics that have been revamped in the grooviest hardcovers (Dorian Gray never looked so dandy).

I rue the day I ever became an English major.  Fuck.  I rue the day I didn’t win the lottery.  

Thanks for hanging in guys.

xoxoxoxo

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

Because this post really has no theme, I just thought I'd include a total non sequitur image (and hey, I could go for a long shot and say there are people sleeping in this pic and my post DOES talk about sleeping...). Hey, at least this person was A: Toasty. B: Anonymous (great to market to any celeb) C. And totally on trend (those colors are SO HOT right now!

Dear Ether,

I just wanted to say a quick hello before I went back to sleep.  I didn’t feel very good today, went to a meeting despite feeling like rubbish, and then got back into bed.  English gent is wearing a face mask and declares Swine Flu! But I think  I’m just run down (I’m kidding about the Swine Flu but not about the mask….  )  I’ve taken some Nyquil/Night Nurse and hope to be in a green capsule daze soon (actually, I really don’t need that amateur stuff for slumber.  I’ve got Dr. W’s goods.  But, hopefully this will unblock my nose and ease up my throat).  

My meeting was very exciting and was about my future with my newest freelancing gig (which is the one I love the most).  My Editor is a DOLL and immediately assigned me two more pieces (really quirky and fun, I’l tell you about them later) and told me that she should have good amounts of work for me since the department I was writing for was growing.  I asked her to please consider me for a permanent position if one were ever to arise and she gave me her word she would.  She said she’d also keep her eyes peeled for positions internally posted.  I NEVER put my eggs in one basket and I don’t trust anyone EVER, but I hope this Editor is an honest one who comes through, because I’m in love with this gig.  

My first feature came out today, and when I saw my byline along with a 1,200 word article, I really choked up.  I felt like a writer again–a real journalist, not just a star fucker.  It came out in the Sunday edition so it must have been read by  loads of weekenders–and remember–it isn’t always about the dosh for me.  It’s about that lady unwinding on her Sunday after her long work week and picking up the fun part of the paper and reading my piece and smiling.  My next feature, another 1,200 word beauty, is making headlines within the next fortnight.  This is the one I’m crazy about. It’s the spec piece that got me the gig to begin with. They normally don’t take this type of feature as it’s an opinion piece (by me) and it really meant a lot  that it got printed in this publication, particularly because of its prestige.  You see, I tried to sell it to lower grade glossies and no one was biting.  To see it come alive in this newspaper is a real honor.  

Going to see “An Education” with shoe gal and another one of her fab friends (Thursday) who owns a very famous restaurant here in Los Angeles.  The friend is sassy and I like her a lot.  But she’s married to a guy with a BAD TOUPEE–what’s with me and running into people with bad hair-pieces?  She’s a bit of a cougar and a lot of fun!  Maybe a new friend in the making?

English gent and I have spent a few peaceful evenings together.  And though we do have our shorts spats, we try and hold our tongues and get along.  Hey, at least we’re in the same room together right?  Regardless, he’s my best mate and still owns a bit of real-estate in my heart so we have to see what happens.  From my stats it seems like you Ethers really liked that piece about our courtship!  I guess I’ll have to tell you a bit more about our walks down memory lane.  And what a wild, crazy path it was and still is!  

I hope you’re all well.  I’m devastated that Internet Explorer is still banning people from my site (is this so—can you let me know for sure?) and that folks can’t read when they want to escape from doing work AT work and their damned computers only allow them to search via IE.  My host can’t figure it out, Wordpress says it can’t fix it as they can’t see a problem (both say THEY can view it fine on IE on their servers) so, I am extremely confused!  Regardless, I’ve gotten some lovely E-mails from the blog.  Do continue to write.  Those who HAVE can attest to the fact that I DO indeed reply…..and like my hideously lengthy posts (remember this was supposed to be like 2 lines–I’m at 732 words) I write back a generous amount!  Anything you wanna get off your chest, any questions about a post—write me.  

Okay, back to bed (I think when I die, and if I don’t get cremated, I’ll get a coffin that looks like a bed….it makes sense….it’s where I was happiest and spent most of my days!).  I have an adorable pooch snuggled up at the foot of my bed, of course on my cashmere throw (what a prince) and some good books I’m in the middle of.  Oh, and of course a few cookies by my side table

I know many of you have already gone to bed–or will be seeing this in the morning–so I will just say–as I usually do–

Dedicatedly yours, 

—One of 365

Word Count: 860

This article is going to be the end of me. And on shoes, nonetheless....and I LOVE shoes! So, sorry for the rambling below (I needed the break from writing!).......but hey, how badass is this Chanel heel that our Queen Of England, Madonna wore? Now these really are KILLER heels!

Dear Ethers,

A really short one tonight.  My apologies.  Tomorrow could be the same (yes, the victim might be the Wish List!).  I have two enormous feature pieces I am writing that are both due on Tuesday and I am having a really rough time with them.  One is re-working a piece that was really creative (written like a story). It was  bought (yes!) and then my Editor wanted me to add a philosophical element to it that required getting quotes from major companies (which you have to chase, chase, chase) and re-arranging the piece to keep its integrity and also allow it to make sense (no!).  It’s tricky when you sell a piece to a major newspaper.  Once they buy it, they can be cheeky and keep asking you to make little tweaks until it has elements in your work that you never intended.  I really loved my original and wrote it on a whim when a cool event in the fashion world caught my fancy and made me wonder.  It just poured from my fingers and I was so pleased with it.  So was my Editor, but then she wanted to turn it into a leading feature for the week before Christmas—a very savory slot—and needed it to be a more powerful statement story and not as “fun.”  Hey, I get paid per word and am pretty damned psyched, but still, I feel stuck because I don’t think what she’s asking exactly works.  Sighhh…but, this is going to be a big deal and I just started working with this paper (and lord knows I need the dosh and exposure) so I’m not going to say no.  And, hey, a good writer is always one who can take a deep breath and hit the delete button and make edits.  

As for the other piece, you’d think it would be so easy!  I had to interview 3 major shoe designers and ask them each the same 7 questions.  Then, all I have to do is formulate a story about shoes—and hey, even easier, I get to pick the idea of the theme.  I’m allowed a two paragraph lead-in and then I have to weave their answers in cleverly.  Simple, right?  WRONG.  I can’t believe of all things SHOES are giving me a nightmare (maybe it’s my new relationship with shoe gal!).  I think I’ve written and re-written this feature about 4 times and have erased them all without saving one draft.  It’s the main story for a special on shoes for the November 15th issue and I am having is-SHOES!    It’s my first assigned piece from my Editor and I want to show her I’m really good.  She says she’s tried out loads of freelancers and they’ve sucked and I don’t want to fail her.  Maybe she’s cursed me like many a women have cursed a man.  You know, talking about how past boyfriends have stunk in bed right before you and she are about to sleep together.  All sorts of thoughts probably go through their minds and then it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.  UGH!

Anyway, the fuckers are both due Tuesday, 9AM PST and I am shaking in my boots.  I’ve never been this nervous about my work before.  I think I’ve had the confidence kicked out of me by so many Manolo’s (ha ha…ermm…ha) that I’ve lost my One of 365 pride.  It’s also nerve wracking when you know that one company you work for just fired a shed load of people and are making serious budget cuts which trickle down to you and this might be a way to make up for that loss of much needed cash.  

So, will you forgive me today?  My eyes are crossing from staring at my Mac—I even got desperate enough and tried to distract myself from writing by taking crazy pics with my Photo Booth on my computer.  I’m proud to say that I have wonderful Warhol-esque images of me cross-eyed and sticking my tongue out.  

I have to dish about the party. Some nutters were there and I’ll let you now Mr. Depp, sadly, didn’t show.  But a few famous faces did and a crazy Arab prince arrived and I have a hilarious story about that which will make you wonder if I am lying about some of the crazy shit that happens in my life.  

If you asked me when I was a kid if I would be 29, sitting in front a computer on a Sunday night ready to burn all my heels as a coup d’etat against the governing body of shoes or that I would even be obnoxious enough to use the expression coup d’etat instead of speaking English, then I think I would have tried to buckle down on my math and science skills and tried to become a therapist (I’m nuts, remember—and they say it helps one to know one—maybe I would have been great!).  

Jesus, for a quick post this thing is already almost 900 words with my ramblings.  I can’t ever write a short tid-bit, can I

Sorry for complaining, but it sure was nice to write about something else besides heel height and balls of feet.  And, seriously, no matter how bad this writer’s block is, it certainly beats the red carpet.  BLECHHHHHHHHH!  Sighhh……crystal ball, I beg of you, where will I be in the next 5 years??

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365