I suppose one day you'll see all of me. But, for now, here is an X-Ray image of my teeth (no, they aren't black---I didn't live in England THAT long!) I'm forcing a big old smile that does not come naturally to me. The reason I took this image with this filter on is because at the end of the day, underneath it all, a smile can really just be a facade and a straight face can be a very happy person but one caught in their thoughts. I dunno--a man once told me I'd be attractive if I'd smile more. Here's my story...

Dear Ether,

I was once told by a man that I would be much more attractive if I smiled more.  I wondered, “Did that stop people from approaching me because I looked like a sourpuss?”  When I catch my reflection in a store window or a mirror, I definitely look unapproachable.  My head is often lowered, my cheeks sucked in giving my lips a down-turned pout and sunglasses usually shade my eyes.

I was never the girl who was bought drinks at bars or was approached on streets.  I never got asked out on dates or was flirted with in public.  And I didn’t get it.  I know you guys don’t know what I look like, but you know I’m honest, and I will try and be humble, but I’m not bad looking.  And when I put myself together, I actually look quite nice.  So when I saw girls who I thought were less attractive, I never knew why I wasn’t getting any attention.

You know, some people have a great smile.  Their eyes crinkle beautifully, their teeth glimmer like ivory piano keys that explode in their mouths welcoming you to their face.  Their lips are full and their grin just makes everything more inviting.  When I smile, I lose my upper lip, my eyes almost disappear and it looks like I’m missing my back teeth because my lip casts a shadow over the last few molars.  I just don’t have a pretty smile.

When I had braces, I learned to smile with my mouth shut.  An almost pucker-like smirk.  I look back on these photos and see how dreadful I appear.  My chin juts out, lines gather around my nose and mouth.  No one would ever mistake me for the Cheshire Cat.

After this man suggested this about my appearance, I tried to take heed of his advice.  I actually felt the atrophied muscles in that region struggle and shake trying to hold the pose.  I felt stupid and foolish. After a few tries I gave up and my face relaxed back into its straight-lined position. The thing is, I don’t NOT smile, I just don’t have that kind of cheerful visage.

I will tell you one thing—(and it’s my surprise)—when I laugh—I give it everything I’ve got.  THAT’S when my teeth come out and sparkle and when my eyes shine and you see my dimples.  So, maybe the secret is you’ve got to make me crack-up.  And when you do, maybe I’m really damned beautiful.  So though I’m not on show every minute, what makes me special is that I come out from the woodwork and glitter every once in awhile.  And it’s the people who matter that get to see the really attractive me.  It’s the people who take the time to invest and not just enjoy the ongoing music of the large piano key teeth but maybe some of the flat notes hidden by my skinny excuse for lips.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

Celebrity is all a bit blurry. The girl in the picture has a stunning figure and stands out in a red dress, but where she's standing and what her emotions are seem fuzzy. What goes on behind the scenes of the rich and famous is an odd one. They will never fully be just like you and me. But when you get close enough and things become clearer some of the fantasy goes away and it takes the magic with it.

Dear Ether,

So, I covered a red carpet on Thursday night.  I can’t tell you anything (yadda, yadda…the close lipped contract….) and this entry isn’t going to be about the party itself, but about the vulnerability of the celebrity.

My job went as it should.  I did the normal carpet chit-chat.  Some celebs were better interviews than others.  The waifish ladies did their poses for the cameras looking confident and gorgeous.  And then they sauntered off into the affair itself.  After I was finished doing my interviews, I went into the party for observations, to grab a drink and take some visual notes on what the event looked like because sometimes cameras aren’t allowed in.  Also, you might get a chance to chat with a celeb a little more in-depth and get something juicy.  It’s also a fun perk (though I find it a little awkward because I don’t know anyone and hanging out with famous people for the sake of it has never been my thing).  You might also walk away with a goodie-bag and you are guaranteed amazing food and cocktails.  My favorite perk of going to V.I.P. shin-dig’s has always been that I get to explore a club or a hotel that you would normally never be granted access to.

But Thursday I had the strangest epiphany. As I was observing these make-up clad women and trendily dressed men that I had seen on the big and small screen, I realized that they were vulnerable.  I think all my life I’ve always thought of celebrities as being super men and women.  That they were touched by fairy-dust and were infallible.  I think some of these people think they are too.  Look at the classic case of James Dean.  But, I think as the walls are crumbling with privacy between the media and the public, stars are starting to realize that they actually are just like “us” with a bit more cash and possibly more problems (though don’t get me wrong, I’d like to have the problem of what dress to wear to the Academy Awards or what movie to choose from instead of how the hell I’m going to pay my water bill….).

I can’t drink heavily when I attend these parties for 2 reasons.  1: I’m on the clock so it would be unprofessional.  2: I drive and so I have to be sober come time to leave and go home.  But a lot of these celebs either come with PR people who drive them home, they have drivers or scarily, they might even take the risk of the road themselves.  So, if you’ve ever been to a party where everyone around you is drunk and you’re sober, it’s like walking through a madhouse of slanted eyes, cockeyed grins and loose limbs.  And that’s what I saw straight and clear with these well-known folks.  It was like a weird party at college.  Their eyes were darting around if they were standing around without anyone to talk to looking desperate and embarrassed.  They used the old texting on the mobile phone trick if they were sitting alone so they “looked busy” and they seemed jittery and had uncomfortable silences just like you and I would have at a party if we were in their position.  I was really surprised.  You always think they have a zillion people to chat with and are the king’s and queen’s of the balls.  Not so!

You know, when I went to parties for my previous line of work, very few of them were celeb functions.  They were mainly cozy press affairs so most of the people who attended were PR’s and fellow journalists.  Also, Hollywood is a whole different kettle of fish than London.  People are star crazy here.  The people who are reporters are so hungry for some sort of claim to fame that they froth at the mouth when they see any celebrity.  It just doesn’t do it for me.  Do I smile or chuckle to myself when I see someone famous?  Of course!  But these people—they will literally stab you in the neck if you get in their way of a possible meeting with anyone recognizable.  I find it really pathetic and it actually made me feel sorry for them.

But I digress.  When I saw the vulnerability and the desperation in many of these celebs eyes, and the look of being lost and not having anyone to talk to, I actually felt depressed.  I felt sorry for them.  I know I shouldn’t and I’m probably reading WAY too deeply into this, but it just felt like the barrier between audience and stage had fallen and I had seen the actor through their make-up.  It was kinda ugly.  I grew up in Los Angeles and my dad, as mentioned in earlier posts, was a TV writer.  I also went to a school that was laden with celebrity parents.  I used to go on studio lots and see famous people daily.  Fame is not anything terribly shocking or heart-stopping for me (except for Sienna Miller—and I keep meaning to explain that one—but alas, it will have to wait for another post).  But I can understand how people who aren’t jaded like I am are crazed when they see someone they adore in the flesh. A couple of the other reporters wanted to stay and try and see if they could hang out with some of the famous folks.  But as soon as my revelation came, I wanted out.  I busted a move, handed the valet my ticket and thankfully got in my car and was pleased to leave and get on with my work.

Look, I’m sure I am over-analyzing.  But, it really is weird when you see the mask fall and underneath isn’t the glorious face of Dorian Gray but the plain visage of John Doe.  These people get pit stains, spill on themselves, step in shit, and get lonely and lost at a party.  I guess the reason it made me feel so bad is because somewhere in me was the dream of wanting to be famous. The perks are great—the money, the opportunities, the chance to play roles in locations that are exquisite.  But a the end of the day, they go home and check their e-mail where they delete their spam about Viagra, open up the fridge and stare wondering what they want for a snack and cry when they have a down day.

Funny how one stupid event can just remind you of that, eh?

I love the magazine I’m working for.  I’m grateful for the opportunity and I adore the inside chances I get to experience and the interesting people I get to speak to.  But for some reason on Thursday something hit a bad chord in me and I had to share it.  I don’t know, I’ll let you know if the next one brings out these emotions in me.

In conclusion, flashbulbs and canapés, there will always be famous people.  And there will always be fans.   But there are very few people who actually get to see what goes on behind the curtain.  And you know what, a lot of their life is a big old set.  A fake reality.  Their truth is no different than ours.  So next time your eyes are darting back and forth wondering “why isn’t anyone talking to me” or “shit, I don’t know anyone here, I’m nervous,” just know your favorite celeb has been there too.  She’s just been wearing a designer dress that’s more expensive than you have on while doing it.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

Dear Ethers,

Another week bites the dust.  That means another outfit is dusted off.  This Friday I’ve gone with a cooler looking color palette (it looks like a Fall transition, but totally fab for Summer too). I know the tights and the wool skirt are also making you ask “what season does this girl think we’re in?” But notice the OPEN-toed heels, and the sleeveless vest/waistcoat.  I love working with season benders because it allows for your wardrobe to extend itself beyond and you get more bang for your buck!  I LOVE wearing tights with open-toed shoes and a dress or skirt.  It is my solution for any cold weather or evening attire situation where I want to wear something light, but might find myself getting a bit nippy.  Invest in a good pair.  They’ll cost you up front, but they’ll last you a lifetime.  

This week we’ve got our cocktail party girl look.  She’s wearing subtle colors so she doesn’t upstage her host, but her choices are trendy and the skirt adds just the right amount of excitement with the cut and the color to make a statement.  The heels blending with the tights make her legs look lengthy and the sleeveless waistcoat is a fun way to play down a dressy affair.  The bracelet is simply there to draw all of the colors together and add a bit of texture to the outfit–also she’s not wearing any other baubles, so why not?  To me, this outfit says fun, hip, young and ready for a cocktail and some conversation.  I’d wear the hair pulled back in a slicked-back high ponytail and wear smoky eyes with a bit of color (a splash of MAC Pigments in “Copper Sparkle”) to the inner tips of the eye so when they catch the light they really shine.  It’s all about they eyes with this outfit, so do it up (remember tips from Beauty Trend: Say “Da” For Russia without overdoing obviously–just stay on trend without going over the top).  And if it is a cocktail you’re after, and the barman is game, try an Orange Crush Martini to match that outfit.  If he doesn’t know how to make it, explain it’s 1 1/2 oz gin, 1/2 Grand Marnier, 1-2 splashes of orange juice and 1 scoop of crushed ice.  Tell him to shake his moneymaker for 25 seconds, take a frosted martini glass and strain the deliciousness in!  If he has any orange slices to adorn the rim of the glass, all the better!  Cheers!  Now let’s check this cocktail cutie out.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

"I like to drink martinis. Two at the most. Three I'm under the table, four I'm under the host." Dorothy Parker

A cute little vest is a great investment because you can wear it casual with jeans, layered over a top or dressy as our cocktail chic-chick is doing above. A really versatile item, the snugger the fit the better. This should show off your curves and lines in all the right ways. The featured piece is actually slightly too big on our girl, but if she could go back in time she would definitely buy a size or two smaller and have it tight! Show off whatcha got and maybe you'll score and extra special drink from the barman. Vest/Waistcoat, H&M Approx. 20 Quid, London

Poof! Literally-of color and design. This is such a perfect cocktail party skirt. Couldn't you totally see Carrie Bradshaw working this at one of her do's? I love the high-waist, the pockets (for slipping gent's digits in) and the tulle underneath to give it that extra stand-out factor that will make YOU stand-out even more. Orange Wool Skirt, H& M Approx. $50 Los Angeles

These really are a must-have investment. They'll cost you an arm and a leg (maybe 2), but they are worth it. I've had mine for 3 years, and have worn them so often and they STILL look brand new. Wear them under trousers for extra warmth in the Winter, team them with open-toed heels in the season- change to keep legs guarded or just rock em' when you want your gams to look sky-high with black pumps and a mini-dress. Really, this is like a bra or a knicker. A MUST! Falke Wool Tights, $65 Any Fine Department Store

These beauties are back. And you'll be seeing a lot more of them. My KG's are FAB! The platform and thick heel make them totally wearable, so you can stand and gab for hours holding that martini glass. You'll also be so tall, you'll be able to tower over the barman to get drinks orders fast! KG Heels, Originally 100 Pounds Sterling Reduced To 50 Pounds Sterling, Harrods, London

Just a bit of fun to add some texture and color to your outfit. Designed to be worn as a necklace but wrapped around wrist as a bracelet. Fun, ethnic and punchy--I say, why the hell not? Handmade Fabric Covered Marble Necklace, Bought From Student In Brighton, England For 2 Quid!

Dear Ether,

To keep on truckin’ with the beauty front, I’m going to insert a write-up I did on one of my favorite make-up must-haves for a page I did for a women’s magazine. I dunno, it felt so good to be writing about beauty again yesterday (Beauty Trend: Say “Da” For Russia!), I thought I’d go with the flow and finish the week with another fun one (tomorrow is “Fashion Friday’s” so technically the week ends then). I’d been looking at my sidebar and noticed that I had written so few things about beauty and thought it was really funny given I’m a beauty writer.  I guess I was so convinced that when I started this blog I was going to keep my day job out of things.  But you know what, I really love what I do and I’m going to try and include it more because it’s such a part of me.  Also, because I’m not writing beauty every single day like I used to, when I DO write about it, I’m reminded about how much I miss it.  So, this is short and sweet.  Really stylized and written in SUCH a women’s magazine format.  Reading it again I can’t help but laugh!  Okay, here’s a fun little piece on a favorite product of mine:

                                             Beauty Artillery                                                                                            

  Mission: Killer Eyes                   Weapon: Mac Eye Kohl “Smolder”

Be armed and dangerous ladies! Here is the sexiest secret in town. I think I've come across dozens of pencils in my day and NOTHING has even come close to a black liner like "Smolder." I always make sure to own at least 2 (1 for the kit at home and 1 for the on-the-go bag). If you wanna make those eyes stand out, there really is no better solution. Lock and load baby!

In this Lipstick Jungle, a poorly tinted lip “bomb” can ruin even the most vibrant pucker.  So, like a good soldier, you need to be armed with the right weapons to ensure that you’re ready for battle.  I mean, who wants to be taken captive by the wrong blush, powder or foundation?  Not you, my cute recruit.  Not you.  So listen up.  I have a little item that will keep you ready for action anytime.  

Mac Eye Kohl in “Smolder” (even the moniker is badass) takes your eyes from innocent peepers to sexy sleepers.  And, F-Y-Eye, even as far back as the Bronze Age, Egyptian queens applied Kohl not just to glam up their orbs, but also to ward off the sun’s glare.  To protect and to serve, right?  Old Cleopatra sure knew her stuff.  

“Smolder” is my chosen war paint because it’s the essential frame for your eye.  The consistency of the product is slick, and it glides on easily, making straight lines a snap (especially if you’ve got those pre-date jitters).  Kohl   is also a better alternative to a standard pencil because of its smudge-ability.  If you want that smoky-eyed, sultry look, this is one product worth fighting for.   

Mac offers the pencil in a variety of colors. It’s also ophthalmologist tested.  Visit their website at www.maccosmetics.com for more details.  Mac Eye Kohl “Smolder” $14.50 

Awwww, wasn’t that a bit of fun?  I love writing product write-ups for mags because you can totally be tongue and cheek, be a bit silly and go nuts with wordplay.  Sniffle.  I REALLY miss my 9-5.  Okay gang.  See you for “Fashion Fridays.”  I don’t know what I’m cooking up yet to wear, but hopefully it’ll be something fab. I better start thinking of a story now.  I’m debating putting a poll up—sigh—I think it might be a pointless endeavor.  But I hate to give in.  I’ve begged, pleaded.  But alas, no one will click a little button and VOTE!  I always think, “maybe this week they will.”  But always to my chagrin.  (Smile) We’ll see….

Dedicatedly yours, 

—One of 365

Say hello to YOUR little friend! At a mere 3,000 pounds sterling this Matriochka Russian Enamel Bracelet Bag is the beginning of the Russian Revolution hitting the runways this fall. If you wanna be hip to the catch, you better bring out Babushka's old scarves because at these prices, we're talking a Faberege lifestyle and in this recession, it ain't gonna happen (at least this for this 3 digit lady). But one way you CAN emulate the look is through your beauty wardrobe. I'm reporting on the latest beauty trend: The Cold War Russian With Money! And you don't have to spend a ton of rubles to look like a million rubles! Ahhh if Gorbachev could see me now....too bad he's lugging around all that LV luggage (what was up with that ad?!)

Dear Ether, 

I’ve been checking out the beauty trends coming up for this fall.  It looks like it’s going to be Cold War Russia, but this time these Soviets are gonna be able to show off what they’ve got without having to worry about being turned into the authorities for digging Western culture and its riches.  Chanel is even dedicating their collection to the land of borscht this season!

It’s about being over the top with big hair (we’re talking mousse making a comeback and hairspray becoming a staple of your beauty wardrobe—screw the ozone)—the higher the coif the closer to heaven!  And eyes, eyes, eyes!  Smudges of kohl all the way to your temples and colors that you didn’t even know were possible to create in shadow form going all the way up in 3 tone layers to your brow bone.  And if it glitters girl, pile it on, because if you shine you are on trend.  And remember how frosted lips were something out of a Bret Easton Ellis novel?  No more!  Marc Jacobs was showing pastels with a pearlized frost that would make you wish you hadn’t thrown out all of those Wet N’ Wild tubes you thought were make-up corpses. And the paler the skin the better the canvas to highlight the hues on your face.  Would you wear this look to the market?  No.  Would you even wear this look to a dinner party?  Again, probably not.  This is definitely a runway look that is for younger folks wanting to make a statement at a nightclub or major event.  I don’t even see film stars emulating this—though they may exaggerate smoky eyes and play with color a bit more. 

Wowza! She's got it all. The pale skin, the kohl eyes, the 80's blusher, the multi-color shadow tiers all the way up to the brow-bone. And the hair. Not only has she re-worked the chignon, but also the quiff in the front. This girl better not stand too close to anything flammable because that coif will go up in flames in 2 seconds with all of that hairspray infused in it. But, she is a PRIME example of our 80's Russian girl working it!

This is directly from the Marc Jacobs show. Notice the frosted lips, the really heavily shaded eyes and the lilac, luminized cheeks. Everything is so exaggerated, including her hair. The skin is so pale, so that the eyes are really the attention grabber. Her hair almost looks like it's been dyed gray because of all of the product that's been sprayed in it. Super drama. Major 80's. If you'd wanna copy this look it is workable. Just take away the wing part at the brow bone and keep the shadowing on the lid and under the eye. For more eye drama, try fake black lashes, or pile on the mascara. Keep the skin pale, but instead of using a lilac shade of blush, go for a pinker color and use a luminizer that is less pearlized and more glowing. With the lips add a buttery gloss. You'll get a great effect, but not so icy and dramatic.

Besides the bonkers hair, I actually think this is the most realistic makeup from the runway. The make-up is by Nars. It is really "done" of course, but it isn't totally impossible to wear. I think the double cat eye kohl is really a cute idea and I like the color hues that have been chosen. She doesn't look so severe and deathly pale. I wouldn't go for the pinkish shadow OVER the eyebrow (yikes) but I do like what's happening with the profile. Is this an everyday look--again--no, but I think if you are trying to make a statement and want to capture the runway, this is the most feasible. Again, sans the hair.

Great brands that have color palettes that would really rock it hard would be Mac, Shu Uemura and Nars.  These guys are always on the cutting edge of color and you won’t have to worry about losing out in terms of choices.  Mac Pigments are my favorite.  They are shimmery and come in fab colors so you get the best of both worlds.  Just make sure to blow on the brush once you’ve dipped it in the pigment—a little goes a long way and the dust falls easily on your face.  A fan brush is a good solution if you DO get pigment spillage on cheeks or under eyes.  Try pigments “Golden Olive” mixed with “Deep Blue Green” if you have brown eyes.  This color combo will be slightly “out there” but still classy enough to not look too bonkers.  I also always advocate as a kohl liner Mac “Smolder.”  I have been using it for years and never deviate.  It is the best in terms of smudge-ability and it lasts the night.  It’s also a deep black so it will act as the perfect frame for your color canvas.  If you really want to go wild, try the Shu Uemura false eyelash route.    In their Tokyo Lash Bar 2009 they have a pair called “Marine Tide” that are supposed to emulate a wave from the sea and they are the most amazing shades of blue and white.  They also have a wonderful bend and curl making them even more striking.  Imagine that with deep, smoky black eyes—major statement!  But check out their other options at http://bit.ly/waZDy and pick from dozens of spectacular works of art to make your own decision about how you want to play it up.  

I’ve always been a color girl.  I’ve been using pigments since their inception and love playing with layers of shading.  I’m a believer of the statement eye.  Many people believe in a clean, classic look with a taupe shadow, bronzer/blusher, mascara, and a lovely tinted gloss.  That’s just not me.  I think you can get the same classy look with a lot more funk.  So, I’m really psyched that in the dreary season ahead color is embraced.  But, as always, runway looks are exaggerated.  Take these ideas and play around.  The best way to gage how make-up is being worked from the runway to the “real-way” is by watching the celebs as I mentioned earlier.  A-lister make-up artists know how to strike the balance and will guide you to making the trend normal and glamorous without looking like Zsa Zsa Gabor!  Who knew the Kremlin would be so influential this season? 

Nostrovia!

Look how colorful the Kremlin is! I wonder if this is where the designers and the make-up artists got their palette inspirations from. Those wonderful onion turrets are so fantastic, and so on trend! The Kremlin is, like, so HOT, right now!

Dedicatedly yours, 

—One of 365