It’s really quite strange. One of 365 is a very small, anonymous blog. A lovely and loyal group of chapettes leave kind comments, and occasionally I’ll get a few newbies leaving their P.O.V’s. But, in my working life, my writing is published under my real name. The articles are very public in well-known titles. Publications always post what I write online after it goes to print. Standard these days. I’m not used to having anyone really Tweet my work or write anything that I can’t censor before they leave a comment. However, with this new situation, it’s my name and my writing standing stark naked for the world to judge.
Often I get wonderful re-tweets and kind words. And then I get shitty comments really attacking what I’ve written. Total cringe. I’ve recently been asked to start blogging for a national newspaper in addition to writing articles for them. Well, it’s certainly a change of pace from One of 365. My voice is 100% different, as are my topics and my word limit. No swearing, nothing too daring and always having to mind my p’s and q’s. I also have an editor making sure what I submit is proper.
It’s so weird living this double life. I can’t check the back-end of these sites to see hit rates or stats. I can’t pick images. I feel so out of control. I also really want to reply to people who leave their opinions, but I’ve been instructed that this is off limits. So, yes, silenced from any kind of interaction.
As a writer…as a PAID writer….the sacrifice you have to make is once you hand over you work, it often no longer belongs to you. I need the money. That’s the truth. So, I have to shut my trap and keep on trucking. Look, I’m not likening myself to a celebrity, but you know how they say they don’t read what the tabloids say about them? BOLLOCKS! I am obsessed with comments about my articles and reading reviews about my writing. My articles are posted on more than a few blogs and I wish so badly that I could write to bloggers—either thanking them or explaining to them what the truth is. Hey, everyone has a right to their opinion. But, the more public my work becomes, the tougher it is to just be quiet. C’mon. You guys know me. Have I ever seemed like the type to be shy? Exactly. I think many of you Ethers, if you knew my real identity, and read my work, would laugh at my pieces. See a whole other side of me.
Right now I am at the stage in my career where I need to start marketing myself and getting my name out there even MORE. Oh yeah. MORE. That means opening the door to a whole lot of extra opinions. I don’t have the thickest skin, and maybe this is a good time to grow it. And if I want to be a winner in this media game, I better start to play harder. But I gotta tell you, the pressure and anxiety—always trying to please everyone—make the right decisions. I feel like I’m in a fog.
Right. Back to my latest feature. How very odd indeed. I wonder if it will be loved or hated? Or, actually, when I’ll start to not give a shit? I’m never going to be the next Austen or Roth………..shit, I never thought I’d ever work again as a paid writer. But I have to say, even the little bit that I add to the recycling bins of the world, well, it can be surreal sometimes.
4 days of rain the forecast. Yep. Dark days ahead. As you know, I suffer from terrible seasonal affective disorder and the dark, wet skies aren’t going to make things pleasant. These are the days that I wonder what the point of being in “sunny California” is? Yeah, yeah. I know I can’t have good weather all year round, but when it rains here, I find this place to have very few endearing qualities.
When it starts to hit heavy, I tend to put on Bach, light a candle and stay under the covers. But, I have a serious deadline for a huge feature due on Monday. The feature is on a subject that’s–well–let’s just say it isn’t rocket science. Yet, it requires a ton of accurate research and pressure and when you can’t stand the subject you’re writing about, it becomes utter agony. This, coupled with the weather is gonna be a toughie to pull off.
I’ll try not to be a miserable git. I can’t promise the happiest of posts, but hopefully you guys will act as a nice break from the monotony of writing about a certain brand of shoes that are anything but glamorous. In fact, I’d like to give this article the “boot.”
To all my fellow Jewish friends, Hanukkah starts tomorrow! Awwww, how lovely. So, for those of you who get there before I do (living in a different time zone) spin a dreidel for me and eat a tasty latke!
Not much to this entry. Just wanted to check in and let you know I still had a pulse. I’m exhausted from doing research and speaking to “experts” about vacuous things. I’m hoping my next assignment will be a nice reward–a piece with some depth to make up for this moronic topic. Hey, you win some, you lose some. For example, my book feature comes out this Sunday. Can’t wait! I wrote over 2,500 words and reviewed 14 books (hey, I got attached and couldn’t choose!). My Editor told me 3 books would be cut (sniffle). I wait with SERIOUS angst to see which ones got sliced (again, major attachment issues). After the bad boy is published I’ll tell you what books I recommended (really fab and unique stuff that is tick list worthy for gifts!).
A more boisterous post tomorrow I hope.
YAWWWWN! STREEEETCH! (I think I just felt my Quasimodo lump snap!)
Time to hit the hay a bit early. Guten Nacht gang. I begin early tomorrow (and you KNOW how much I love to rise and shine).
PS: Sorry I haven’t Tweeted in a while. Will be back on form once this fucking piece is done! I’m also trying my best with comments. Do be patient…please
This article is going to be the end of me. And on shoes, nonetheless....and I LOVE shoes! So, sorry for the rambling below (I needed the break from writing!).......but hey, how badass is this Chanel heel that our Queen Of England, Madonna wore? Now these really are KILLER heels!
Dear Ethers,
A really short one tonight. My apologies. Tomorrow could be the same (yes, the victim might be the Wish List!). I have two enormous feature pieces I am writing that are both due on Tuesday and I am having a really rough time with them. One is re-working a piece that was really creative (written like a story). It was bought (yes!) and then my Editor wanted me to add a philosophical element to it that required getting quotes from major companies (which you have to chase, chase, chase) and re-arranging the piece to keep its integrity and also allow it to make sense (no!). It’s tricky when you sell a piece to a major newspaper. Once they buy it, they can be cheeky and keep asking you to make little tweaks until it has elements in your work that you never intended. I really loved my original and wrote it on a whim when a cool event in the fashion world caught my fancy and made me wonder. It just poured from my fingers and I was so pleased with it. So was my Editor, but then she wanted to turn it into a leading feature for the week before Christmas—a very savory slot—and needed it to be a more powerful statement story and not as “fun.” Hey, I get paid per word and am pretty damned psyched, but still, I feel stuck because I don’t think what she’s asking exactly works. Sighhh…but, this is going to be a big deal and I just started working with this paper (and lord knows I need the dosh and exposure) so I’m not going to say no. And, hey, a good writer is always one who can take a deep breath and hit the delete button and make edits.
As for the other piece, you’d think it would be so easy! I had to interview 3 major shoe designers and ask them each the same 7 questions. Then, all I have to do is formulate a story about shoes—and hey, even easier, I get to pick the idea of the theme. I’m allowed a two paragraph lead-in and then I have to weave their answers in cleverly. Simple, right? WRONG. I can’t believe of all things SHOES are giving me a nightmare (maybe it’s my new relationship with shoe gal!). I think I’ve written and re-written this feature about 4 times and have erased them all without saving one draft. It’s the main story for a special on shoes for the November 15th issue and I am having is-SHOES! It’s my first assigned piece from my Editor and I want to show her I’m really good. She says she’s tried out loads of freelancers and they’ve sucked and I don’t want to fail her. Maybe she’s cursed me like many a women have cursed a man. You know, talking about how past boyfriends have stunk in bed right before you and she are about to sleep together. All sorts of thoughts probably go through their minds and then it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. UGH!
Anyway, the fuckers are both due Tuesday, 9AM PST and I am shaking in my boots. I’ve never been this nervous about my work before. I think I’ve had the confidence kicked out of me by so many Manolo’s (ha ha…ermm…ha) that I’ve lost my One of 365 pride. It’s also nerve wracking when you know that one company you work for just fired a shed load of people and are making serious budget cuts which trickle down to you and this might be a way to make up for that loss of much needed cash.
So, will you forgive me today? My eyes are crossing from staring at my Mac—I even got desperate enough and tried to distract myself from writing by taking crazy pics with my Photo Booth on my computer. I’m proud to say that I have wonderful Warhol-esque images of me cross-eyed and sticking my tongue out.
I have to dish about the party. Some nutters were there and I’ll let you now Mr. Depp, sadly, didn’t show. But a few famous faces did and a crazy Arab prince arrived and I have a hilarious story about that which will make you wonder if I am lying about some of the crazy shit that happens in my life.
If you asked me when I was a kid if I would be 29, sitting in front a computer on a Sunday night ready to burn all my heels as a coup d’etat against the governing body of shoes or that I would even be obnoxious enough to use the expression coup d’etat instead of speaking English, then I think I would have tried to buckle down on my math and science skills and tried to become a therapist (I’m nuts, remember—and they say it helps one to know one—maybe I would have been great!).
Jesus, for a quick post this thing is already almost 900 words with my ramblings. I can’t ever write a short tid-bit, can I
Sorry for complaining, but it sure was nice to write about something else besides heel height and balls of feet. And, seriously, no matter how bad this writer’s block is, it certainly beats the red carpet. BLECHHHHHHHHH! Sighhh……crystal ball, I beg of you, where will I be in the next 5 years??
I just don't know how many more beat downs I can take. I sometimes don't even go into hysterics anymore but go into a quiet place and stare and just leak---sort of like this picture. Life, people---they are so cruel. But why? If we all are hurt by others and hate it, why do we perpetuate it?
Dear Ether,
Let me preface this entry with the fact that this post is more of a rant and a spew than my normal writing. It’s a bit stream of consciousness and slightly all-over-the-place. I needed a forum to explode so with that in mind, forgive some of the speed bumps ahead. But as usual, your support and comments always make a difference and I look forward to hearing your opinions. X
Hollywood is a whole different beast to London—especially journalistically. The red carpet here is filled with angry and competitive reporters who have formed a clique and don’t appreciate the new girl on the block. I happen to represent a really good title and these other girls don’t—they are working for tabloids—and that is exactly the way they behave: cheap and tacky.
On Thursday I had a journalists nightmare. My Editor and I spoke on the phone and she told me rumors had spread that I was piggybacking off of other journalists interviews on the carpet, asking for celebs details on the carpet and pushing PR’s for goodie bags—all NOT TRUE. It was humiliating, hurtful, mean and so spiteful. I thought I was doing a really good job and was actually calling my Ed to ask for more responsibility and then she dropped this on me. She was really supportive and said that these people have done this to many of her reporters in the past. That they want your job and that this is a small, incestuous town. But the worst thing is, I DIDN’T DO ANY OF IT. And what was particularly embarrassing was that it wasn’t only my Editor that new about it but other important people on the magazine as well.
I don’t know who would take the time to make up stories about me, call the magazine and try and get me in trouble. And my Editor told me it was several people! I thought it was so mean and petty and cruel. I know there’s no crying in show business—but I began to because I was gutted that I had worked so hard and that no matter how hard I defended myself, this was still going to reign in the back of my co-workers minds. And—because I didn’t know who ratted on me, I can’t protect myself next time I go out there so I feel very paranoid. I’m normally quite boisterous on the carpet—I’m afraid I’m going to be in a shell.
This happening, and the drink being drugged, MR. X, and my lovely shoe gal (but her awful name dropping friends)—I just can’t stand it anymore. I need out. But where am I going to go? I have no more connections in the magazine biz in London which is a shame because I love writing that style (and frankly, I think it might be the wrong field for me—the women can be so harsh and I tend to have a thin skin). I’m going to be 30, on no ladder, with no friends, no flat, and a broken net because of the damage done by staying with my family in Los Angeles. And my relationship with English gent is a mess too.
Is there something wrong with me? Why don’t I fit in anywhere? Why are people making up lies about me? Why are people so callous? And frankly, my idea of a good night is not standing on a red carpet with a bunch of other cut-throat journalists who are fame hungry. I couldn’t give a rat’s ass if a person is a celeb or not, I just want to do my job. Please don’t think I’m not grateful to be working. I AM. I am damned lucky in this recession to be given this opportunity to work with a top magazine. It’s not the magazine I’m angry with, it’s the people who are my secret enemies—people who don’t even have the balls to show me their face and approach me if they have a problem. In short: pussies.
I want to write. Thank god I have One of 365. But I’m not a little kid anymore. I’m a grown-up (can’t believe it) and I need a career. I want to come home tired, but at least proud of my day. I don’t want phone calls from Editors telling me some bitches called about me with lies. I felt like I was 17 again and it was High School and I was being reprimanded by the principal. I feel past that.
If I move back to London, I suppose it’s back to flat-hunting on The Gumtree, temping or freelancing, and trying to remember who I cut ties with and who I can call for help. It’ll still be rainy, and people will still slam into me at the Tube station and I’ll stick out because I’m American. And If I move to NYC, all my savings will be eaten up because of the recession. And when I lived there, people were just as bitchy as they were in Los Angeles.
Anyway, this is what I wrote in my defense to the accusations (and please remember, my Ed was really supportive). There have been edit’s of course to protect identities.
Dear XXXX,
1. I have NEVER piggybacked on ANYONE’S interview. This is a cruel, made-up lie that someone is either extremely paranoid about or just wanted to sock it to me. I always write XXXX if I “group interview” and have never stolen a quote from another reporter. I have been a victim of being piggybacked and have never been petty enough to report this. Shame on whomever spat out this B.S.
2. When I worked in London I received gifts bags daily. They ranged from Burberry handbags and opulent hampers from Fortnum and Mason to gift vouchers to Harvey Nichols for 500 pounds. I received beauty products that were worth more than some people’s car payment’s and was flown out to lush spas. I most certainly would NEVER have been chomping at the bit for (excuse me) the “rubbish” gift bags they give in Los Angeles which consist of take-away menus, bottled water and maybe a hand-lotion. Again, that is a ridiculous and cruel rumor someone made up to humiliate me and make me seem petty.
3. Finally, as for the e-mail exchange. There are 2 incidents where this happened. I forgot to tell XXXX about the 2nd. The first was with XXXXX who I had met the night before and then met again coincidentally the next night in a row at the XXXX gala. She and I got chatting and it turns out she and I have a mutual friend (my college roommate from XXXX in XXX). We exchanged e-mails. The second XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
So that folks, is my defense. I hope this never happens again—but of course, I don’t know who my hunter is so I’m out there as fresh and easy prey. That’s L.A. for you. I’ve known it since I was a conscious human being—this city isn’t me. I mean, as grown-up women, we still lie and tattle on each-other? C ‘mon! Shaking Julie Robert’s hand isn’t that important to me if the price is humiliation and degradation. At the end of the day I’m a writer, not a star-fucker.
I love Monday’s because they mean I can go virtual shopping on some amazing websites and style dream outfits that I would love to wear had I had the bank account of a movie-star. BUT, maybe 1 of you Ethers DO have an enviable credit card limit and can splurge, or might be inspired by the choices from the “The Wish List” and look to your favorite shops for inspiration. What matters most is that I LOVE doing it and I think you guys LOVE seeing it so it shall continue being a weekly staple to help get the dreaded 5-day toil over and done with. It’s a dream that as a magazine writer I wish I could have the liberty to do, but never would be given the space or creativity to do it.
And speaking of work, it’s the recession so many of us are looking for new jobs. This means interviews! I think what separates the men from the boys is often the little details. The cuff-link or the finely-cut suit. But we’re talking womenswear right now, so I’m focusing on being fashion forward but classic. Beautifully made clothes that are cut to perfection, but are simple in design with a pop of personality. I think these days you need to stand out slightly by wearing something a little different than a boring black suit and white button down shirt with black heels. Truthfully, I’ve never gone for a job on Wall Street or to work for a top law firm. So, the choices that I’ve made today might be totally inappropriate (though I don’t know if nowadays places are hipper and want a chicer looking employee).
I went with fashion label Marni, a favorite of mine for years (even though all I’ve been able to do is stand awe-struck through their windows and look at their amazing stores with their minimalist curved hangers and beautifully patterned clothing). I think they embody European, and especially Italian fashion design. With their architectural cuts, Impressionist colors, Marni provides must-have wardrobe staples but gives you the extra edge so you’re always tweaked, looking slightly ahead of the game and never fully part of the crowd. In a nutshell I would call them avant-garde in a way that is very wearable so you’ll always look interesting and different without looking too risky.
Marni began in 1994 as a family business (the Castiglioni’s) who were fur producers to the best fashion houses, but they also wanted to have their own stake in the fashion game. It all began with a women’s collection designed by Consuelo that was eclectic, tailored, researched and unique. A huge success, Marni continues to create “holistic collections for markets that have become more receptive to innovative Italian design.” (Marni.com) Marni also decided not to have a strict advertising campaign which has allowed editor’s to create amazing creations with their clothing each season which has actually given them a lot more coverage had they had stricter look-book structures.
So with your history lesson, a bit of love for the brand from me, and keeping in mind what this outfit is going to be worn for here goes:
It all begins with the wrapping paper when you open the gift, right? Well, this is quite some paper! This coat will set the standard for the rest of the outfit. It looks hand dyed, the colors are that of Italy with its sepia tones and the material is perfect for summer and fall. Made of silk and linen organza, this is a mix n' match version of the trench but with asymmetrical lines, cuffs that are like a dress shirt and a unique belted trapeze shaping. Sun and Violet Runway Duster, Originally $2, 250 now $1,125 Marni.com
Bringing out the ruddy reddish brown in the duster and complimenting the asymmetrical lines as well, this top is ideal. Though it is a plain color, its architectural design is unique so even when you remove your striking outer layer, you still are wearing an interesting piece. You also don't want to compete with too many different patterns so the plain color with the extraordinary detail is the perfect combination (though Marni is famous for making patterns come together that blow your mind!). Cotton and Silk Top w/ Pocket Detail. Originally $630 now $315 Marni.com
Sleek, slick and a perfect cut are always what you want to look for in a trouser. Italy is famous for its tailoring and Marni prides itself on this tradition. The color, once again, compliments the duster, but also will work with the rest of your ensemble once it is removed. Great for any occasion, these are just a wonderful wardrobe staple. Cotton Cady Trousers Originally $630 now $315 Marni.com
I have to say, when the shoe selection came up on the screen, I almost fainted and had to be resuscitated. They have a massive selection and it was tough to choose, but I went with this killer heel. I really liked that it tied all the colors together, I thought the leather cutting detail was extraordinary, the heel looked thick enough to walk in and the platform looked hefty enough so you wouldn't die from ball-of-foot pain. I also think these would make your legs look authoratative in those trousers (hey, the less you have to shorten, the taller you are, right?) and if you wore them for going out they'd make your legs look seriously sexy. Hematite Leather Sandals Originally $850 now $425 Marni.com
Okay, I thought, how could I scrape together the cash for this bag? I could sell my computer, but then how would I write? Or, sell English gent for escorting, but he regretfully declined (damn those English manners!). If anyone from Marni is out there, here is my pathetic plea--if you have a bag that you don't want and were gonna toss in the bin because maybe a stitch was off, e-mail me. I will be your indentured servant for all time. Okay. Pathetic begging over. I LOVE THIS BAG. It is big, beautiful and brings out the color of the duster and the top--it just defines everything in this outfit. The tiers in the leather are once again playing on the architectural thought process of the Marni brain. The bag is functional and perfect for your interview with its space for paperwork, but it also is the perfect city bag that just will age beautifully. This is an investment piece because it will last you a lifetime. Bella! Bandoliers Tourmaline Leather Bag Originally $1,975 now $988 Marni.com
Marni had really fun and organic accessories. I went with these bracelet/bangles. They are within the color scheme and when you take of the duster and have the sleeveless top on, they'll look great on your bare arms. Lovely. Horn Bracelet Embellished With Applique Ruffle Originally $325 now $163 Marni.com
Marni had really fun and organic accessories. I went with these bracelet/bangles. They are within the color scheme and when you take of the duster and have the sleeveless top on, they'll look great on your bare arms. Lovely. Horn Wavy Bangle Originally $290 now $145 Marni.com
I couldn't resist! It's so rare that a label has such lovely lingerie too. And why not be decked out from top to bottom. This 90% cotton 10% silk bra is extremely luxurious, cute and is just a wonderful little treat. Green and Pink Bra Originally $325 now $163 Marni.com
You knew these knickers were coming too! Yes they might be slightly large, but I hate those teensy pants that veer a little too close to, well, I don't want to get graphic. I like a roomy pair of trunks. These are just adorable and so European. Can't you just see a cutie in the 50's sitting in her flat in Italy in this bra and underwear smoking a cigarette, sipping an espresso and peeking out her balcony for her beau to arrive? Ahhhh....those were the days. Green and Pink Briefs, originally $235 now $118 Marni.com
Well, I have given you quite the outfit to choose from. I think this is the biggest selection yet, thanks to Marni’s amazing Website. And remember, I have ZERO affiliation with the brands that I pick so I’m not trying to sell you anything. Think of this as an editorial spread. I hope you enjoyed this and good luck on your interview you hot ticket! You deserve the job if you are looking THIS stylish. Since I put a lot of work into putting this fab frock together I expect you to VOTE! No one ever seems to and I really am curious to know what you think. So, take the 10 seconds and click on the button….please…otherwise, you can buy me the above bag! Which is cheaper and easier? Yeah, I thought so………
Step out of the Ether and send me an E-mail. I would be glad to have your thoughts, feelings and ideas.
