I swear to god, I think some of the rich assholes I've come across in my life, would, if they were sentenced to die, end up requesting a bespoke chair like this. They wouldn't DARE touch another filthy heathen's death throne let alone sit in it without it being a brand name. The people I've seen come and go throughout my life have been so superficial that when I couldn't measure up to their spending habits, they judged me not for who I was as a person, but who I was when I got dolled up or knew the right people. As soon as my credit card got maxxed out, so did our friendship. I keep falling into the trap of meeting these people partly because on the outside I look a certain way, but also because of the profession I'm in. This is why I keep my distance from people. Because at the end of the day, these fuckers will die peacefully in the electric chair as long as their shackles have shiny brass LV hardware emblazoned on them. The worst part is, they aren't even deep enough to care that they are about to sizzle. They'll just be pleased as punch to be going out in style.

Dear Ethers,

 My pal, uber celeb shoe gal is having a party tomorrow night and English gent cannot come. He’s about 2 weeks behind on a project that he’s doing freelance work for in the UK and it’s due Monday.  He simply doesn’t have an hour, let alone an evening to spare.  I’m really nervous about going alone.  Shoe gal has on her guest list people like Angela Basset, Johnny Depp, Halle Berry (and hopefully her man….grrr), Annette Bening and Warren Beatty.  She also has a lot of Beverly Hills elite (blechh) and very chi-chi designers, business people and friends (hopefully the normal people) coming as well. 

I really like shoe gal.  She’s fun to hang out with—alone.  But when she is in her element amongst the rich and fabulous she acts her role and it makes me uncomfortable.  I also don’t know a single person going and feel like I’m going to be the poor schmuck who is unemployed, not wearing Cartier and living at home with her parents.  

I’ve felt like this a lot in my life.  I went to extremely expensive and elite private schools from 12-21.  The kids were all children of directors and actors, CEO’s of major companies or huge real estate guru’s, or people that were serious investment bankers.  I always hated becoming friends with them because even though by global standards I was doing pretty damned well financially, in their circle I was always the poor girl who could never keep up.  I was never able to go out for $15 drinks, take taxis, shop at Barney’s, give expensive gifts, buy the pricey make-up.  They made me feel insecure and embarrassed.  And to be honest, it really wasn’t my fault.  I was proud of myself for putting my foot down, not spending money I didn’t have and never pretending to be someone I wasn’t.  They were the jerks who couldn’t understand the concept that maybe there were some people who didn’t fly in their Concord lifestyle.  By then, they dropped me—I supposed it was a good thing because they probably weren’t nice enough people anyway.  But, it always hurt because the process in dumping me was humiliating. 

My shoe gal knows that I’m just a freelancer but I think she assumes I have money.  I wear very expensive handbags (all bought for 50% off when I worked as head of copy and content at a very exclusive department store in the UK).  I wear expensive clothes (again, either bought on sale and then again marked down with my discount, or through my clever eye at TJ Maxx, outlet malls, mega-sales and savvy shopping).  I don’t think I’ve bought anything full price in years.  I’m starting to get the problems I have with her that I’ve always had with the other rich friends I’ve acquired.  She wants to go out to eat to places where the bill comes to $120 because she ONLY drinks Champagne and sparkling wine.  She shops on Rodeo Drive (she lives about a block from there) and she never even looks at the price tags at Chanel (she has a personal shopper there who knows her by name and brings her, yes, her favorite bubbly while she tries on $5,000 puffer jackets). 

Here’s what you should know about her.  She is 43, so almost 14 years my senior.  She was first and orthopedic surgeon and then became one of the top shoe designers, at least in America.  She came to this country at 8, fleeing from war and speaking no English.  This woman is brilliant and has made the American dream happen for herself.  She is a successful businessperson and she has worked damned hard.  She should reap the benefits of this—I’m not taking that from her.  But, it’s just getting hard to keep up.  I don’t want to lose her as a friend.  But when she calls me up and says let’s meet for a drink, she’s not talking about the local pub.  She means The Four Season’s Hotel. 

I have NEVER allowed ANYONE to treat me as a charity case.  I’ve had these rich friends offer to pay for me and I have always said no.  There are two reasons why.  1: I never want to owe someone because then they feel that they own you in some way. 2: I feel it has to damage the relationship somehow because the friend might start feeling resentful that they are being used for their cash.  

I had a terrible incident happen to me in London.  I had an extremely rich girlfriend of mine who came to visit from the States and wanted to go to the Light Bar in London.  A drink there is 15quid.  She was staying with me and wanted to take a cab and I told her that it would cost 40quid and the tube was free.  She was really angry and offered to pay for the taxi.  I finally gave in but was really uncomfortable.  She then got us into the Light Bar and kept ordering us rounds (there were two other friends she knew from London there as well).  I said to her that I could not afford more than one drink, but she kept ordering anyway and told me she’d pay.  I was gutted and miserable the whole night.  When the bill came, it was almost 1000 pounds.  All 3 of them took out their credit cards and I was the only person who couldn’t pony up the cash.  My “friend” explained, in a stupid, drunken manner, that I didn’t have the money to afford the drinks and could the three of them cover me?  I was devastated.  I didn’t speak to her for the rest of the next day and thank goodness that evening she flew home.  She and I speak on occasion, but the friendship really died on that night.  I swore NEVER to let that happen again. 

The problem with the business I’m in is that I’m either interacting with people who have large expense accounts or who are very wealthy.  I don’t actually hang out with fellow journalists all that often.  It’s not easy NOT having the green.  I want to be friends with my shoe gal, but I don’t want to have the talk with her that I’ve had with so many that has made me turn crimson—that I just can’t afford to go out with her.  

Again, the irony is that I come from a well-off family, and I would certainly not be considered poor.  But to these people, I am broke.  A hindrance.  So, I’ll go to this shoe gal’s party, put on a big, smiley face and pretend that all is hunky-dory in my life.  But inside, my heart is thumping and all I’ll want to do is get the fuck out of there.  Can you now understand why I don’t want to be broke with English gent and why I want so badly to be a success in a career and make money so that I’m not embarrassed anymore?  I know I should be confidant in myself regardless of what others think—but realistically, the world doesn’t work that way.  You’ve got to be able to pay the bills, not matter how lovely a disposition you have or how happy or in love you are.  I NEVER want to be someone’s charity case or anyone’s poor relation.

I’ll give you guys the details about the party as soon as………..

Dedicatedly yours, 

—One of 365

Dear Ether,

I love Monday’s because they mean I can go virtual shopping on some amazing websites and style dream outfits that I would love to wear had I had the bank account of a movie-star.  BUT, maybe 1 of you Ethers DO have an enviable credit card limit and can splurge, or might be inspired by the choices from the “The Wish List” and look to your favorite shops for inspiration.  What matters most is that I LOVE doing it and I think you guys LOVE seeing it so it shall continue being a weekly staple to help get the dreaded 5-day toil over and done with.  It’s a dream that as a magazine writer I wish I could have the liberty to do, but never would be given the space or creativity to do it.

And speaking of work, it’s the recession so many of us are looking for new jobs.  This means interviews!  I think what separates the men from the boys is often the little details.  The cuff-link or the finely-cut suit.  But we’re talking womenswear right now, so I’m focusing on being fashion forward but classic.  Beautifully made clothes that are cut to perfection, but are simple in design with a pop of personality.  I think these days you need to stand out slightly by wearing something a little different than a boring black suit and white button down shirt with black heels. Truthfully, I’ve never gone for a job on Wall Street or to work for a top law firm.  So, the choices that I’ve made today might be totally inappropriate (though I don’t know if nowadays places are hipper and want a chicer looking employee).  

I went with fashion label Marni, a favorite of mine for years (even though all I’ve been able to do is stand awe-struck through their windows and look at their amazing stores with their minimalist curved hangers and beautifully patterned clothing).  I think they embody European, and especially Italian fashion design.  With their architectural cuts, Impressionist colors, Marni provides must-have wardrobe staples but gives you the extra edge so you’re always tweaked, looking slightly ahead of the game and never fully part of the crowd.  In a nutshell I would call them avant-garde in a way that is very wearable so you’ll always look interesting and different without looking too risky.

Marni began in 1994 as a family business (the Castiglioni’s) who were fur producers to the best fashion houses, but they also wanted to have their own stake in the fashion game.  It all began with a women’s collection designed by Consuelo that was eclectic, tailored, researched and unique.  A huge success, Marni continues to create “holistic collections for markets that have become more receptive to innovative Italian design.” (Marni.com)  Marni also decided not to have a strict advertising campaign which has allowed editor’s to create amazing creations with their clothing each season which has actually given them a lot more coverage had they had stricter look-book structures.

So with your history lesson, a bit of love for the brand from me, and keeping in mind what this outfit is going to be worn for here goes:

It all begins with the wrapping paper when you open the gift, right? Well, this is quite some paper! This coat will set the standard for the rest of the outfit. It looks hand dyed, the colors are that of Italy with its sepia tones and the material is perfect for summer and fall. Made of silk and linen organza, this is a mix n' match version of the trench but with asymmetrical lines, cuffs that are like a dress shirt and a unique belted trapeze shaping. Sun and Violet Runway Duster, Originally $2, 250 now $1,125 Marni.com

Bringing out the ruddy reddish brown in the duster and complimenting the asymmetrical lines as well, this top is ideal. Though it is a plain color, its architectural design is unique so even when you remove your striking outer layer, you still are wearing an interesting piece. You also don't want to compete with too many different patterns so the plain color with the extraordinary detail is the perfect combination (though Marni is famous for making patterns come together that blow your mind!). Cotton and Silk Top w/ Pocket Detail. Originally $630 now $315 Marni.com

Sleek, slick and a perfect cut are always what you want to look for in a trouser. Italy is famous for its tailoring and Marni prides itself on this tradition. The color, once again, compliments the duster, but also will work with the rest of your ensemble once it is removed. Great for any occasion, these are just a wonderful wardrobe staple. Cotton Cady Trousers Originally $630 now $315 Marni.com

I have to say, when the shoe selection came up on the screen, I almost fainted and had to be resuscitated. They have a massive selection and it was tough to choose, but I went with this killer heel. I really liked that it tied all the colors together, I thought the leather cutting detail was extraordinary, the heel looked thick enough to walk in and the platform looked hefty enough so you wouldn't die from ball-of-foot pain. I also think these would make your legs look authoratative in those trousers (hey, the less you have to shorten, the taller you are, right?) and if you wore them for going out they'd make your legs look seriously sexy. Hematite Leather Sandals Originally $850 now $425 Marni.com

Okay, I thought, how could I scrape together the cash for this bag? I could sell my computer, but then how would I write? Or, sell English gent for escorting, but he regretfully declined (damn those English manners!). If anyone from Marni is out there, here is my pathetic plea--if you have a bag that you don't want and were gonna toss in the bin because maybe a stitch was off, e-mail me. I will be your indentured servant for all time. Okay. Pathetic begging over. I LOVE THIS BAG. It is big, beautiful and brings out the color of the duster and the top--it just defines everything in this outfit. The tiers in the leather are once again playing on the architectural thought process of the Marni brain. The bag is functional and perfect for your interview with its space for paperwork, but it also is the perfect city bag that just will age beautifully. This is an investment piece because it will last you a lifetime. Bella! Bandoliers Tourmaline Leather Bag Originally $1,975 now $988 Marni.com

Marni had really fun and organic accessories. I went with these bracelet/bangles. They are within the color scheme and when you take of the duster and have the sleeveless top on, they'll look great on your bare arms. Lovely. Horn Bracelet Embellished With Applique Ruffle Originally $325 now $163 Marni.com

Marni had really fun and organic accessories. I went with these bracelet/bangles. They are within the color scheme and when you take of the duster and have the sleeveless top on, they'll look great on your bare arms. Lovely. Horn Wavy Bangle Originally $290 now $145 Marni.com

I couldn't resist! It's so rare that a label has such lovely lingerie too. And why not be decked out from top to bottom. This 90% cotton 10% silk bra is extremely luxurious, cute and is just a wonderful little treat. Green and Pink Bra Originally $325 now $163 Marni.com

You knew these knickers were coming too! Yes they might be slightly large, but I hate those teensy pants that veer a little too close to, well, I don't want to get graphic. I like a roomy pair of trunks. These are just adorable and so European. Can't you just see a cutie in the 50's sitting in her flat in Italy in this bra and underwear smoking a cigarette, sipping an espresso and peeking out her balcony for her beau to arrive? Ahhhh....those were the days. Green and Pink Briefs, originally $235 now $118 Marni.com

Well, I have given you quite the outfit to choose from.  I think this is the biggest selection yet, thanks to Marni’s amazing Website.  And remember, I have ZERO affiliation with the brands that I pick so I’m not trying to sell you anything.  Think of this as an editorial spread.  I hope you enjoyed this and good luck on your interview you hot ticket!  You deserve the job if you are looking THIS stylish.  Since I put a lot of work into putting this fab frock together I expect you to VOTE!  No one ever seems to and I really am curious to know what you think.  So, take the 10 seconds and click on the button….please…otherwise, you can buy me the above bag!  Which is cheaper and easier?  Yeah, I thought so………

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

For other “Wish List” linkage:

Net-A-Porter

J. Crew

QVC

French Connection