Celebrity is all a bit blurry. The girl in the picture has a stunning figure and stands out in a red dress, but where she's standing and what her emotions are seem fuzzy. What goes on behind the scenes of the rich and famous is an odd one. They will never fully be just like you and me. But when you get close enough and things become clearer some of the fantasy goes away and it takes the magic with it.

Dear Ether,

So, I covered a red carpet on Thursday night.  I can’t tell you anything (yadda, yadda…the close lipped contract….) and this entry isn’t going to be about the party itself, but about the vulnerability of the celebrity.

My job went as it should.  I did the normal carpet chit-chat.  Some celebs were better interviews than others.  The waifish ladies did their poses for the cameras looking confident and gorgeous.  And then they sauntered off into the affair itself.  After I was finished doing my interviews, I went into the party for observations, to grab a drink and take some visual notes on what the event looked like because sometimes cameras aren’t allowed in.  Also, you might get a chance to chat with a celeb a little more in-depth and get something juicy.  It’s also a fun perk (though I find it a little awkward because I don’t know anyone and hanging out with famous people for the sake of it has never been my thing).  You might also walk away with a goodie-bag and you are guaranteed amazing food and cocktails.  My favorite perk of going to V.I.P. shin-dig’s has always been that I get to explore a club or a hotel that you would normally never be granted access to.

But Thursday I had the strangest epiphany. As I was observing these make-up clad women and trendily dressed men that I had seen on the big and small screen, I realized that they were vulnerable.  I think all my life I’ve always thought of celebrities as being super men and women.  That they were touched by fairy-dust and were infallible.  I think some of these people think they are too.  Look at the classic case of James Dean.  But, I think as the walls are crumbling with privacy between the media and the public, stars are starting to realize that they actually are just like “us” with a bit more cash and possibly more problems (though don’t get me wrong, I’d like to have the problem of what dress to wear to the Academy Awards or what movie to choose from instead of how the hell I’m going to pay my water bill….).

I can’t drink heavily when I attend these parties for 2 reasons.  1: I’m on the clock so it would be unprofessional.  2: I drive and so I have to be sober come time to leave and go home.  But a lot of these celebs either come with PR people who drive them home, they have drivers or scarily, they might even take the risk of the road themselves.  So, if you’ve ever been to a party where everyone around you is drunk and you’re sober, it’s like walking through a madhouse of slanted eyes, cockeyed grins and loose limbs.  And that’s what I saw straight and clear with these well-known folks.  It was like a weird party at college.  Their eyes were darting around if they were standing around without anyone to talk to looking desperate and embarrassed.  They used the old texting on the mobile phone trick if they were sitting alone so they “looked busy” and they seemed jittery and had uncomfortable silences just like you and I would have at a party if we were in their position.  I was really surprised.  You always think they have a zillion people to chat with and are the king’s and queen’s of the balls.  Not so!

You know, when I went to parties for my previous line of work, very few of them were celeb functions.  They were mainly cozy press affairs so most of the people who attended were PR’s and fellow journalists.  Also, Hollywood is a whole different kettle of fish than London.  People are star crazy here.  The people who are reporters are so hungry for some sort of claim to fame that they froth at the mouth when they see any celebrity.  It just doesn’t do it for me.  Do I smile or chuckle to myself when I see someone famous?  Of course!  But these people—they will literally stab you in the neck if you get in their way of a possible meeting with anyone recognizable.  I find it really pathetic and it actually made me feel sorry for them.

But I digress.  When I saw the vulnerability and the desperation in many of these celebs eyes, and the look of being lost and not having anyone to talk to, I actually felt depressed.  I felt sorry for them.  I know I shouldn’t and I’m probably reading WAY too deeply into this, but it just felt like the barrier between audience and stage had fallen and I had seen the actor through their make-up.  It was kinda ugly.  I grew up in Los Angeles and my dad, as mentioned in earlier posts, was a TV writer.  I also went to a school that was laden with celebrity parents.  I used to go on studio lots and see famous people daily.  Fame is not anything terribly shocking or heart-stopping for me (except for Sienna Miller—and I keep meaning to explain that one—but alas, it will have to wait for another post).  But I can understand how people who aren’t jaded like I am are crazed when they see someone they adore in the flesh. A couple of the other reporters wanted to stay and try and see if they could hang out with some of the famous folks.  But as soon as my revelation came, I wanted out.  I busted a move, handed the valet my ticket and thankfully got in my car and was pleased to leave and get on with my work.

Look, I’m sure I am over-analyzing.  But, it really is weird when you see the mask fall and underneath isn’t the glorious face of Dorian Gray but the plain visage of John Doe.  These people get pit stains, spill on themselves, step in shit, and get lonely and lost at a party.  I guess the reason it made me feel so bad is because somewhere in me was the dream of wanting to be famous. The perks are great—the money, the opportunities, the chance to play roles in locations that are exquisite.  But a the end of the day, they go home and check their e-mail where they delete their spam about Viagra, open up the fridge and stare wondering what they want for a snack and cry when they have a down day.

Funny how one stupid event can just remind you of that, eh?

I love the magazine I’m working for.  I’m grateful for the opportunity and I adore the inside chances I get to experience and the interesting people I get to speak to.  But for some reason on Thursday something hit a bad chord in me and I had to share it.  I don’t know, I’ll let you know if the next one brings out these emotions in me.

In conclusion, flashbulbs and canapés, there will always be famous people.  And there will always be fans.   But there are very few people who actually get to see what goes on behind the curtain.  And you know what, a lot of their life is a big old set.  A fake reality.  Their truth is no different than ours.  So next time your eyes are darting back and forth wondering “why isn’t anyone talking to me” or “shit, I don’t know anyone here, I’m nervous,” just know your favorite celeb has been there too.  She’s just been wearing a designer dress that’s more expensive than you have on while doing it.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

Dear Ethers,

So, I found this really groovy store on La Cienega in West Hollywood en route to my gym which is on Sunset.  It’s the most amazing little place. Stationed between a car wash and a crummy parking lot, it’s the sleekest little boutique with a white awning.  Written in the coolest black lettering simply states the name Opening Ceremony.  I’d driven by a few times and wondered what this place was all about.  Was it a club, a restaurant?  The LAST thing I expected for it to be was the most unique clothing store I’d been to in Los Angeles thus far.  Opening Ceremony carries everything from their own label (which is very Euro-vintage) and Topshop to Acne Jeans and bonkers labels you’ve never heard of.  I was thrilled when I walked into their groovy labyrinth where their very attractive and well-dressed staff point you in all directions so you can get lost in this candy shop of clothing, shoes, accessories and more.  I was thrilled to see a whole rack of Topshop, though it was mainly the Kate Moss collection.  It was ridiculously expensive (Londoners, if you thought you paid through the roof for the scraggle-toothed waifs creations, try buying a tank-top for $100 where they even have the chutzaph to leave the UK tag on that says 25 quid. Um. No.)  So, even though I couldn’t afford a single thing in this hot-house for hipsters, I thought if they had a website it would be great to share their wonderful world with you.  So I was thrilled when I Googled the shop and found out they did indeed sell online.  Their collection is SO much more limited on their website then what they have to offer in store, but you still get the groove factor from the cool graphics, off-beat models and unique clothing selections.  If you’re looking for a brand that nobody else is really going to be sporting, or a label that is uber cool that you’d see the likes of Sienna Miller wearing, than you’ve hit the right spot.  Opening Ceremony likes to show that they don’t carry the regular stuff that your local mall does–but truthfully you’ll have to pay.  The stuff ain’t cheap, even on sale.  

The “Wish List” look this week is all about travel and getting upgraded to First Class when you’re flying.  Why shell out the big bucks on a plane seat when you could spend it on an outfit you’ll wear for ages!  Even if you spend 24 grueling hours flying, the amount of money you spent on a First Class ticket could buy you a runway look that will make you the envy of all your friends and may even get you snapped by “The Satorialist.”  I could have chosen a wack-a-doodle outfit from Opening Ceremony (and trust me, if you visit their shop or site, you can see nutty stuff.  Chloe Sevigny has her own label there, just to give you some idea!) but I wanted to pick something that was unique, still wearable, and that would be comfy to fly in. And when you nonchalantly ask the narrow-eyed flight attendant about being upgraded, she’ll take one look at you and say to herself, “yep, this girl is used to high-flyin’ style.” The only thing that it’ll cost you is the price of an economy class seat and some killer clothes from this choice selection. So, get out your passport, dust off your luggage and get your doctor to prescribe you some sleeping pills because honey, you are about to see some duds that will get you an oversized leather seat, champagne and rid you of that screaming kid who keeps peering over his chair making crazy eyes at you (don’t you hate that!).

I love this jacket because it sort of has that fencing coat feel, but also an old-fashioned bodice look to it too. I adore the darting. The lines will hug your body and show off your figure in all of the right places. The arms are cut long so they will give the appearance of elongating your limbs. The front zip is handy, making the jacket easy to take on and off. This is perfect for when you fly (the temperatures in those planes are so unpredictable!). The material is also great. A mix of cotton and rayon, this lovely jacket won't wrinkle too badly so you'll leave the plane as crisp as you entered it. G. V. G. V. Arch Braid Zip-Up Jacket In Beige, Originally $1,025 now $513, openingceremony.com

You're going to be in the clouds anyway so why not represent the mood of the flight? The attendants will appreciate YOUR appreciation for their jobs (okay, maybe I'm taking this a bit too far) but it is a cute thought, no? I just loved how light and airy this top was. It looked like a watercolor painting and I loved how the fluffiness of the blouse mimicked the fluffiness of the clouds. It's actually hand printed in Japan, and I reckon just a lovely summertime top. It think it will layer nicely under the cotton jacket because the fabric is so thin (the jacket really needs to not have anything too bulky underneath as it is so snug, it fits like a top in its own right). Made of silk and cotton, you'll be breathing fresher air in this ethereal piece of cloth in the front of the cabin then in the back, that's for sure. Wakana Koike Fluffy Cloud Blouse, $300, openingceremony.com

Don't these just look comfortable? The loose tied waist? The wide legs? The linen and cotton blend? The chilled out Japanese-inspired cut? You know they'll just sit well on you, be a great fit and won't make you sweat bullets in the summer heat but protect you from the sun. I think the cloud blouse would look lovely tucked into the trousers showing off the tied waist and I like the idea of the natural looking jacket and pants matching together to make a really "green" look. And if you spill champagne on these compliments of First Class, I bet you it won't even show! United Bamboo Baggy Pants, Originally $405 now $122, openingceremony.com

I really like these because they tie the whole outfit together in a glamorous way without being too "bling" but show you have style and know your fashion. They are architecturally very interesting with the layering of the suede. The heel is almost like a bamboo reed, and they just look comfortable. They work with the whole organic look of the outfit. It's like you aren't trying too hard, but you're letting people know you've got style. That's what the flight attendant's will pick up about you. That you aren't pushy, but you know what you want and you get it. They'll see you "own it" and they'll wanna give it to you. High-heels=high-flying. Hussein Chalayan Flap Boot, Originally $849 now $249, openingceremony.com

If you want to "bag the deal" you can't be schleping around a beaten up purse that says "there is a hole in the lining of this baby that has about $3 worth of parking meter change in it that I can pull out if I turn it upside down." You need to look like you're carrying important things in an important case. This will hold all of your key documents and even a small laptop. It goes beautifully with the colors of your outfit and is crisp and clean for summer. Want Les Essentials De La Vie Bag, $625, openingceremony.com

Any hot-mama traveller sports major shades. Even if it's nighttime. Crazy. I know. That's why these babies are good, because the tint isn't too dark so you won't look totally nuts if you have a evening flight. These vintage inspired sunnies are wonderful with the whole bohemian-sleek look of your outfit and just add that finishing touch to make you look polished. If you've had a rough night, they won't be able to see it in your face (these are HUGE) and if it comes to a stare down for that upgrade, you're hiding behind lenses and they're not. Who do YOU think is gonna win? Linda Farrow Vintage For Charles Anastase Sunglasses ca1-c6, $275, openingceremony.com