Now THIS makes an impact. Everyone wants to go to The Ritz! Now, let's be real. My humble blog will never be as mighty as this legend, but I'd certainly like it to be as welcoming and for people to want to come inside. Please help me figure out how I can get a diamond slightly as big as the Ritz

Dear Ether, 

I was having a very interesting debate about blogs the other night with a fellow astronaut in the sphere.  He also happens to be a marketing strategist so he thinks in a way that I most certainly do not.  His insight into this world is fascinating.  

I know blogging isn’t about statistics, but c’mon, we all take a gander at them.  Not to be competitive and get book deals with Penguin, but to see if anyone out there is reading us.  After five months my blog stats have remained the same and this has concerned me.  I don’t understand why I’m not getting more hits and why my hit rates aren’t steadily rising (I post every day and I try and choose lovely photos!).  Is my site unsightly?  Are my pictures ugly?  Are my titles/captions bad?  My content rubbish?  I’m worried.  Well, marketing maestro asked me a very interesting question.  What was my bounce rate?  Well, quite high actually.  This, he said, was key.  He said people were clicking on my site and then leaving before they had a chance to read my content. Those who read my work probably liked it. This proved the consistency of my solid number I could count on every day. But most other people never got that far.  Here’s the analogy he thought best:  It’s like having a restaurant. You’ve got great food, an amazing chef and a great interior with lovely staff.  Hey, even the toilets are nice with Molton Brown hand soap.  But, the awning is rubbish, the sign is torn, you haven’t swept the sidewalk and your curb appeal is just awful.  No one is going to walk in and open the door to see the innards because they think the outside is a reflection of the inside.  

But is this so?  Is that what’s going on?  Or, is the market simply too saturated with blogs? OR people can’t be asked to read anything longer than a blurb or two and my posts are too lengthy so when they see my post they find it too daunting? All these questions and more are what make up my blog post today.  For those of you who’ve “stepped into my restaurant,” who’ve actually made it this far into my content, I’d love your advice.  I want more people to read my writing and readership to grow, but something is wrong and I can’t put my finger on it.  So, today I’m asking for suggestions.   Think of it as me doing a bit of blog market research.  I’m going to put being humble aside for a moment.  I think my content is really decent.  But again, people aren’t getting that far.  

I am not looking for a pat on the back.  PLEASE.  Don’t toot my horn or try to be nice.  Honesty is what I’m looking for.  When I set out to write One of 365 I wanted it to be read by a lot of people so I could connect with the world and grow.  I don’t want to be another blog statistic.  I could really use your advice.  Hey, if you think I’m wrong and think my content is shit, fuck it—let me know.  Speak your mind.  I want my restaurant to flourish and you guys are the people I want to come in and enjoy a meal with.

I also think this will be an interesting case study for other bloggers out there to think about how this might aid you as well if you have the same concerns.  

On that note……I appreciate your feedback and wait in haste for thoughts.  My ripped awning is waiting to be fixed.  

Dedicatedly yours, 

—One of 365

I know exactly how he feels. He's been working all day long and he's just ready to punch out. ME TOO! Except my mom didn't pack me a snack like his did Though HE DID get dressed (dapper sport coat) and I'm still in my PJ's. Ahhh, the glam life of a freelance writer!

Dear Ethers,

I just finished. Just.  I am so tired I never want to talk about sh-sh-sh-shoes again!  But the article is done and dusted, E-mailed and sent and I hope my Editor likes it. The sad casualty, as I unfortunately assumed, was the Wish List.  But, I’m thinking maybe I’ll do a rain check mid-week or, again, make it up to you with a super kick-ass version next Monday.  

Can I ask a huge favor?  A very huge favor indeed?  Can I go to sleep?  I think I’m starting to get arthritis in my fingers from typing, my rear-end is on fire from sitting so long in one chair and I think my eyes are ready for a new Px from the glare of the screen all day—actually—day—what IS day?  

I have SO much I want to talk to you guys about–mainly just some nutty party stuff, and my usual worries (LOL) but alas, that’s why you’re my buddies, right?  I want to do it justice and you know when I write a post—I WRITE A POST (oh, you know you Ethers LOVE my 1,500 word ones!!!).  So, let me rest my weary body and mind and eat something inappropriate that keeps me further from getting into cute jeans and I will make it up to you tomorrow.  I promise.

As always…..

Dedicatedly yours, 

—One of 365

"A throne is only a bench covered with velvet." Napoleon Bonaparte (I am not so cynical, but isn't that a great quote! No wonder he had a chip on his shoulder I am very pleased with my bench covered in velvet, thank you very much!)

The RAM on my computer is very pleased.  It’s being filled with wonderful gifts from fellow bloggers who have been kind and generous with their love and thoughts.  The uber-cool Forty Not Out (who has not only a really fab blog that will make you crack a smile with her humor and wicked wit but also, as a fellow blogger, will make you jealous of how good her design taste is—killer header woman!) has given me the “Queen of ALLL Things” award.  From a stylish lady who has pretty damned good taste, I’m taking this as a great sign that I’m still (kinda) hip.  So eat your heart out LIZ!  But, to boot, my best mate on the blogosphere, who has a blog I endlessly rave about, Life, The Universe And All Thats In It, doubly whammied  me and now I can say I am TRULY pretty in pink.  

I’ve said this before when I’ve been lucky enough to be given an award.  The best thing about being recognized by your fellow bloggers is that you know that like-minded and intelligent people, who are out there busting their balls doing exactly what you are trying to do, are giving you a virtual high-five.  It shows that there is no back-stabbing and bitchiness and that we all are rooting for each other.  I wish I was a better supporter when it came to blogging.  I LOVE the girls who I have on my blogroll and I read their entries daily—but often don’t leave a comment—which sucks because I know it makes MY day when THEY do.  So this award is going to reform me.  Knowing that I have this crown, I have a new duty.  To be a better comment leaver–I mean even the Queen takes the time to write you a letter when you turn 100 (well, she signs her bloody name).  But just know that every day I check up on you guys and I really keep up on your worlds.  In fact, I really want to broaden my horizons and make new blog buddies.  An award like this just reminds me about how important this has to be in my  life because blogging is such an integral part of my routine.  

I have no one new to pass this award on to.  I have recently received an award and dedicated it to everyone on my blogroll.  So, this is what I propose to do with my crown.  I want to dedicate this to the millions of bloggers who give their hearts and souls to their keyboards every day, week, month—sometimes never even getting a hit but always persevering because they love writing and have a passion they must express.  From the guy who writes a new chess move on his blog each day to the fashion photographer who posts her photos and  dreams of becoming the next Sartorialist.  Whatever our desires for doing this are, may they prevail and may all of us be around for a long time.

Thank you again for this wonderful recognition and for making me feel truly like a real Monarch of the Web for the day

Dedicatedly yours, 

—One of 365

Just a good old simple hello, how are you, what's up post. And if you wanna schmooze and say hello, I'd love to hear from you!

 Dear Ethers,

Just a short one tonight…so….hello!  I wanted to let you all know how appreciative I’ve been that you’ve stuck with me these past four months.  Yep, on the 29^th of October, One of 365 hit its quarter birthday.  I know I’ve mentioned it before, but I’ll say it again—I never thought I’d make it a week let alone 16!

Sometime my mind goes wild with thoughts about posts to write.  Other times I stare at my computer screen with nothing and I walk away and come back 10-15 times finally thinking of something to send out into the ether. 

I never know what each day will bring.  What drama work will cause or what emotional rollercoaster I might ride and share.  Sometimes I wish I could recant what I write and post—but I never delete anything.  I think it would be dishonest to the purpose of my blog to do so and I think I have to own what I write once I publish it.  I have some regrets.  I wish I hadn’t opened up so much about my relationship with English gent (though that’s not to say I won’t talk about him in future posts–let’s face it—he’s an integral part of my life).  Why?  I felt it got overwhelming and slightly disturbing.  I don’t think I’m THAT good of a writer to really express the truths that are going on between he and I—the real emotional grit—and when I look back at the posts I feel they never give the moments justice.  Many of these entries cause me frustration.  But, that’s what’s so wonderful about having a blog: reflection.  I hope that when the year is up, I will have 365 entries to ponder (well, I don’t know how much reflecting there will be about my Wish List’s or Fashion Fridays) but it will be fascinating to see where I was when I began at 29 years old and where I ended at 30. 

Many of the reports that I’ve read about successful blogs is that they take many years to establish themselves.  I think I could see myself in for the long run.  I enjoy having a forum that allows total expression, being in a brilliant community with other intelligent writers and interacting with Ethers who drop by One of 365 and schmooze.  My wish?  To have more of you converse with me.  I have said this over and over again.  I thrive off of your comments.  When I see a new name pop up in my comments box, I think about it all day and it gives me a surge of glee that make my fingers type faster and my imagination swirl excitedly to post again.  I know you guys are out there reading—-I’m dying to know who you are.  I understand it might take you some time to come out of your shell and introduce yourself.  But—just know that I would embrace it gratefully.  

Okay.  As I prefaced, nothing terribly mind blowing.  But, not every post is going to be a fucking epiphany, right?  I’m only human.  I’ll prove it.  What did I do today?  I woke up.  Had a cup of coffee.  Went to the gym and took a spin class (I totally sucked), showered, napped for an hour, got dolled up, went for a bite to eat with my glam shoe friend and a nob of a man who thought he was god’s gift to the world (snore) and then went and got a Pinkberry (all the fruit toppings, thank you very much) with English gent….and now here I sit.  What will I do after I publish this?  I have 8 juicy new books I took out from the library (I’d be dead without  the invention of the library) and I’m going to get into one of my vintage nightgowns, cuddle up with my pooch, open my window where my turret will be visible and the moon will shine through the trees branches and I will read until drowsy.  Pretty human, huh?  Please write me xoxoxoxooxo

 Dedicatedly yours, 

—One of 365

This may look like a cartoon, but this is no joke. I mean business. I'm sick of people out in the world thinking they can abuse bloggers and THINK they can get away with it. Read on....and see that your "mouse" is gonna be trapped starting NOW.

Dear Ethers, 

My good friend Wildernesschic has a brilliant blog that I enjoy reading tremendously.  I like it because it’s written from the heart.  You never feel like she has a thesaurus sitting on her lap while she’s writing, her stories never cease to fascinate, and she writes with humor and wit that are honest and organic.  She’s also extremely supportive of other bloggers, never failing to visit sites leaving well thought out comments and taking an interest in the world of the blogosphere.   She’s a reliable source, in my opinion, on blogging.  

A few days ago she posted an entry called “What Is A Blog?”  It fascinated me.  Again, she wrote straight from the soul and really begged the question about what we bloggers are doing every time we hit that very scary publish button.  She mentions that her blog is her “…own Hyde Park Corner.  Where I can express my freedom of speech.”  I agree completely.  She, unlike myself, is NOT an anonymous blogger.  Every single time she puts out a post she is risking her neck.  Her friends and family read everything she writes—her name is completely exposed to the public. 

Recently, she received a barrage of E-mails that were abusive and hurtful about her writing.  Obviously I don’t know the intimate details, but I do know that she has taken down a certain post that she feels might have hurt someone’s feelings and feels more guarded with her special part of her “Hyde Park Corner.”  I think this is completely unacceptable.  I too have received hurtful E-mails and comments from people about my blog.  I’m not going to indulge these abusers by telling you the details, but they attack below the belt and use ones own words to be vicious and malicious.  I have since blocked them from access to my website, but I wonder, why do people feel the need to be so angry with a blogger when all we are doing is expressing our experience and our memories?  I can understand disagreeing with a point of view, but I cannot understand abuse.  If you have an issue, it is perfectly acceptable to leave a comment asking questions about the post and, indeed disagreeing with the bloggers point of view.  But to hurl abuse and to ensue fear into someone’s life is abhorrent. 

I don’t see the blogosphere’s manners as any different than the normal manners of society.  Just as you cannot harass someone or verbally abuse them or stalk them on the streets, you cannot do so on their blog.  There are ways of finding out who you are, for those of you who DO take advantage of the vulnerability of bloggers.  You are easy to track and it is illegal to leave a torrent of insults.  You can be arrested.  You are no different than a stalker.  You have to remember there is a huge difference between freedom of speech and threatening people.  Tread carefully.  Is it really worth it?  At the end of the day we are just people who take the time to write about our lives, our interests and our views.  If you disagree or have any gripes—-either leave a calm mannered comment that will allow a fair debate or walk away if you don’t think you can control yourself.  Think of it as hitting someone.  You wouldn’t just beat someone up if they said the wrong thing would you?  You’d take a deep breath and either walk or talk. Well, at least one would hope. 

I will be seeking anyone out who hurls abuse at me, WILL trace you through your internet provider and WILL call the authorities.  I have spoken to the police and they have said that this IS a crime and people HAVE been arrested.  I will not be censored or threatened.  I will write what I want without fear.  And so should every blogger.  I warn you again, tread lightly, because you will be caught and you’ll be eating YOUR words hopefully without ever hurting anyone else again.   

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365