Don’t Fuck With My Hair!!!!
I'm not going to say much, because it'll ruin the story. But see this girl. She looks somewhat surprised, but not in a "I'm going to kill myself because someone shaved off all of my hair" kinda way. Well. This photo could have been me....but with a VERY different expression on ol' One of 365's face. Seriously---don't ever fuck with my hair.
Dear Ethers,
OH MY GOD. I have the CRAZIEST story to tell you. Right. So, you know how I’m always going on about my hair and its length. I mean, by this time you know the diameter of each follicle. But you also know how much I treasure it. I swore the only way I would ever cut my hair is if I became destitute and it was the last thing I had to pawn to eat that night.
So, I had straightened my hair for an event and had been wearing it down because I usually don’t take much care to make a fuss over it (you know, tying it in a messy bun etc…) and wanted to work my “do.” I’m walking down the street and this woman comes up to me and says, “You have the most beautiful hair.” Well, of course I was pleased and thanked her very much. But she went on. “Is that your natural color?” I politely responded, “Yes, it’s my own.” “So you don’t use any dyes at all?” Okay, now not only was I getting annoyed, but I was getting weirded out. I said, “Look, I’m real busy…” and she cut me off and started telling me that she worked for this charity called “Locks of Love” and they were really desperate for donors because all of the salon owners were paying a fortune to girls and it was the recession.
Now, I’m not saying I’m the most benevolent person in the world, but I do give to certain charities. But they are ones that I choose and that I approach. I make it a policy NEVER to give to charities on streets or on the phone. I like to do my research on the net and donate via e-mail. But regardless, where was this woman’s badge? Who the hell was she? And I’m sure “Locks of Love” didn’t have a bombard you policy that freaked young women out on the street.
I calmly told her that I had no intention of cutting my hair and that I would appreciate her leaving me alone as I felt this was very inappropriate. Now, a normal person would walk away. Oh no, this lady got PISSED. “Don’t you care about kids with cancer? Women who’ve been burned and lost parts of their scalp?” Did I mention I’m standing on a street where there were cafes and people were staring at us? I just started walking away—but she followed. I started to reach for my cell phone and my keys.
And then I felt a tug.
My whole body went numb and I swear to god for a second I thought she took out shears and lopped my hair off.
I spun around and screamed at her to never fucking touch me again and that I was dialing 911. I’ve never seen a skinny woman with a bob-cut run so fast in my whole life.
When I got home I called “Locks of Love” and told them my story. And Ethers, I’m not joking (and you might think I’m a pussy) I was crying. I think they were afraid I was going to sue for assault charges. But the truth is I didn’t have the woman’s name and they said they have so many volunteers that even with my description of her, it was hopeless.
I think “Locks of Love” do a wonderful thing and I do not want to incriminate them for one woman’s insane breakdown. But I have to tell you that I will never forget that moment. I did wonder if that woman was really from “Locks of Love” because they told me that dyed hair WAS acceptable though bleached wasn’t. And if the lady had cut my hair without it being in a braid or ponytail first she would have done it for nothing—they can’t accept it loose. Oh and FYI, if you ever DO want to donate, your hair needs to be 10” tip-tip minimum (and they do request it to be clean, thank you very much).
Later that night I took a shower, used my special Kerastase shampoo that I pull out for special occasions and my Redkin conditioner that is for VERY special moments, and lathered up grateful for something to still be attached to my head. My waves re-appeared, and as my hair dried, up it went into its lazy bun happy to be protected. I was just so happy to have given my OWN locks some love that night when it all could have been snipped away by some nutter with a bad bowl cut. Sheesh. Only in L.A.
Dedicatedly yours,
—One of 365
Step out of the Ether and send me an E-mail. I would be glad to have your thoughts, feelings and ideas.
September 30th, 2009 at 4:12 AM
Wow. I am now suddenly very glad I live in deepest darkest English countryside, though we do get our fair share of weirdos (never go to Trowbridge for instance). And I’m feeling just a little sad for having lost my long hair…nah, actually not!xx
September 30th, 2009 at 5:36 AM
OMG I would have died and then decked her !!
September 30th, 2009 at 7:48 AM
Wow, what a freaky incident, no wonder you were so upset! Well done for reporting it and that is without doubt totally unacceptable behaviour, charity or not!
September 30th, 2009 at 10:46 AM
How scary was that??!! What a weird woman. I too have very long hair which is curly unless I make the enormous effort of straightening it. I would be devastated if someone cut it off. I get cross if the hairdresser cuts off more than the minimum needed.
And to try to emotionally blackmail you- what a cow!!
Glad your tresses are still all safely attached to your head still. x
October 2nd, 2009 at 5:47 AM
I know what you mean about hair…it’s an emotional center in some way. I remember once I confronted my fear about going to a salon (I was 18 with very long brown/red hair) I asked for a shag…I know crazy…but I said a long shag. The woman…who did not share the same culture as me…started raking a razor blade over my silky locks…I was vunerable, in shock, and near tears. She kept insisting that this was the way to get fullness and layers…I got split ends for at least a year! Since then I have found my voice, Ms Ether, and know how to say stop!!! I think it’s wonderfully kind to donate hair…but the word is donate…not take! I was grabbed on the street once in San Diego. A man grabbed my backside firmly and squeezed. I was enraged…it’s so unexpected to be violated/touched roughly in public. I screamed at him and an entire bus stop crowd just backed away from me: I was a crazy woman. The man looked completely neutral…no expression or reaction whatsoever. I called him an ass…among other things…but I appeared to be mental…and felt so satisfaction at my outburst. At least you felt your power when you screamed her away! So much for Lacks of Love…pure manipulation.
October 2nd, 2009 at 5:48 AM
That is “no satisfaction” at my outburst…
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:18 PM
Cynthia! A visit to your BEAUTIFUL blog is long overdue. Thank you for your amazingly lovely, long and thought out comment. I know—us girls and our hair. One snip gone wrong and it can bring out the beast! And for being groped in public. Oh, that is really bad—much worse than my story. Mine was slightly comedic—there is NO excuse for anyone touching anyone without their permission. That is such a hideous feeling of violation. I’m glad you called him out—but trust me—people like that get off on being yelled at and humiliated for it. That’s part of their game. They are animals. Nothing can stop them. Just be grateful it wasn’t worse. On a happier note, how are things in the tropics? How is your lovely (and gorgeous) family? Are you enjoying having school started? I will visit your blog and see for myself! xoxoxoxo
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:20 PM
I have missed you so much. I need to gain access to the (errrm you know what errrm place) so I can check up on the (errrm real errrm) so can you re-send me the link? I haven’t seen you on Twitter as much? Is all well? Drop me an email and let me know you are ok if you want to….if not, let’s touch base via that link. xoxoxoxx
October 3rd, 2009 at 2:43 PM
I was looking into Locks for Love and a bunch of people were saying that its a scam and they’ll just sell your hair. Funny story though.
October 3rd, 2009 at 10:58 PM
Hey–thanks for visiting the site! It is a bit of a nutty, funny story right? So you heard “Locks of Love” is B.S.? REALLY? Oh my god–that is terrible. I guess hair is hard to get and people need it and are willing to sell it to make the bucks. I hope they sell it and put it back into the pocket of the charity. I am so attached to my hair that I would want to save it if I cut it. I don’t know why—I wrote a piece on this before—but I think I’d want it to become part of the family heirloom package. Some people may think that’s odd—I think it’s lovely. I have one in my family—and I would like to continue the tradition. But what happened to me on the street=bonkers! xoxoxoxo