HA! Dear Anyone Who Knows One Of 365 Expecting Gifts Like Pictured: Dream On!!!!!!!

Dear Ether, 

Bah-Humbug.  Yep.  You heard me.  And this is from a nice Jewish girl!  Here’s my dilemma.  Shoe-gal, whose local convenient store, if she lived in London, would be the Harrods Food Halls, has bought me a Christmas gift.  A very kind gesture indeed. However, I must reciprocate, and as we know my local convenient store does not have a green awning and a doorman.  

It was really strange that she wrote me and told me that she had bought me something.  We haven’t seen one another in about 2 weeks.  She’s been doing business in NYC (probably shopping in Bergdorf’s) and she finally got back into town.  Truthfully, I have missed her.  She’s a helluva lot of fun, really kind, and has pizzazz in the bag!  She also gets me out, which is good.  The Quasimodo lump that is starting to grow on my back from bad posture (and a crummy desk chair) from toiling away at my computer is really getting unsightly.  Anyway, I dunno about you guys, but I never announce that I have bought someone a gift…….UNLESS I want one BACK!  

So that’s my theory.  Shoe gal wants me to know she has bought me a gift and she wants something in return.  An exchange.  Fuck!  The problem is I don’t have the bucks to get her something that will live up to her bling lifestyle.  And, what happens if she got me something outrageously pricey?  What am I supposed to do when she opens my card with a $25 gift voucher to H&M?  I think she’d shudder at the fact that the store carried anything with polyester.  And what happens if she’s just picked me up a token, and I end up spending my Bat Mitzvah savings on her?  Then I’ll feel like a superficial and  presumptuous ass.

I feel very rude.  She has asked me to hang out this weekend and I have ignored her E-mail.  Terrible, I know.  But I’m afraid to communicate with her because I’m in this bind.  Look, the truth is I can’t see her this weekend anyway (I’m on deadline).  But, eventually she and I will end up making a date and the inevitable exchange of pressies will happen.  Damn I hate the holidays. 

So Ethers, what’s your advice?  Tis’ the season of giving, right?  But, what happens if all you have lining your pockets is lint and some old chewing gum?  I can’t ask Shoe-gal how much she spent, or what she got me.  And I can’t get the gift first and then give her one based on how much she spent……….and what do you get for a woman who can afford anything anyway?  And shoes are OUT of the question. 

So—how much should I spend?  What genre of gift should I give her? And, what do I do if her gift is crazy expensive and mine looks like a cheap piece of crap in comparison?

 Please don’t tell me it’s the thought that counts.  Because if you guys felt that way, then you would all be happy with a shitty Christmas jumper, a fruit-cake and “The Beach Boys Sing Christmas” CD……….right? 

HELP!

Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

Dear Ether,

I haven’t had time to do a proper Wish List in forever!  Yes, I have been perusing the Web drooling at collections knowing that by the time I’ll be able to afford these gorgeous clothes, I’ll be too old for them.  And that was what I always adored about my Wish List.  That I could shop and put together an ensemble as if I were ready to slam down that credit card after making my selection.

So, eyebrows knit, concentration at the highest level, I hit the Matthew Williamson website and was blown away by the easy to use and fun virtual closet that lay before me.  Many times I visit high-end designer  sites and they are embedded with so many bells and whistles.  Too much Flash and crazy music.  You can’t even figure out how to navigate the bloody thing and you give up before you even get to see what they have on offer.  I also love that you can copy and paste images allowing you to make a visual tick-list for later consideration.  So many designers have posted their pictures with such high security that you can’t pull pieces that you might want to save on your desktop or share with your friends and ask for advice.  The only crummy thing that Maestro Williamson has done is not posted the prices.  Dun, dun, dun!  We know what that means.  That the goods are so damned pricey they are afraid to show you what they cost for fear of you collapsing right in front of your screen.  They offer you a NYC phone number to call for advice about any frock, but I hate this feature.  I want to have the privacy of working online and cutting out dealing with a pushy sales person.  Bad move Matthew!

Anyway, I wanted to go for something sexy, badass, uber luxe and probably worth a zillion dollars because–fuck—the prices weren’t there so I figured why shouldn’t we live in fantasy land this once?  Matthew Williamson kits out all the cool kids from Sienna Miller to Kate Moss.  This Brit, believe it or not, actually started with some of his first goodies in Marks & Spencer’s in their “Autograph” range……whoa!  Williamson, has actually stayed quite close to his department store grass roots having been part of Designer’s At Debenhams in the UK since 2002 under the name “Butterfly” (his famous insignia) and more recently, by partnering up with a one-off collection with H&M.  In 2006, Williamson took over as Creative Director at Pucci (not surprising as he is known for his brilliant patterns and color palettes, just as Emilio Pucci was).  And, he has a lovely line of fragrance and candles that he launched in 2005.  Not surprising, this 38 year old is a graduate from Central St. Martin’s in London and has now become one of the staple names on the runways today.

So, picture this.  You are out in London.  It is cold, but man have you got the MOST amazing shoes you want to show off and anyway, when you get inside, it’ll be warm.  So sporting a short dress (again, don’t worry, you have a “pimp” coat covering you) you are almost ready to go.  While applying your make-up, you’ve lit a lovely scented candle to get you in a sexy, chilled out mood.  You’ve grabbed your blingalicious, but beyond jealousy-enducing bag, just as you’ve heard the taxi honk its horn.  Damn, you look HOT!  Let’s GO!

Yep. This hugs you in ALL the right places. The pattern is beyond cool with a futuristic/Asian inspired feel. The hand-beading at the chest allows you to forget about the need for jewelery as it's built in! The tulip shaped skirt and the polo neck make the dress architectural in cut (which is on trend). The black band around the waist looks like a belt giving the appearance of a petite ribcage and the sleeves are fitted to elongate the arms. The length is perfectly cut to show off the right amount of leg and the right amount of heel! Lace Jersey Polo Neck Dress-Black Multi, www.matthewwilliamson.com (price upon request)

Yeah. These aren't your ordinary black court shoe. From the platform, to the wings on the side to the hot-pink piping---these are killer heels. Again, these are slightly architectural in design which match the quirkiness of the dress and the heel height will make your legs soar! Nappa Patent Court Shoe-Black www.matthewwillamson.com (price upon request)

These are from the runway....but I thought I'd give you another alternative to the basic black if you really wanted to go wild! I think the blue snakeskin might actually work with the patterns in the dress and certainly the color scheme. These shoes are NOT for the shy violet--though neither is this ensemble. I like that these shoe-boots are a bit more punk-funk and make the dress slightly more daring. Call me crazy! But hey, it's always YOUR choice. Runway Shoe-Boots, No Price or Name.

I'd kill for this bag. Kill! It's sexy, elegant, trendy, youthful, seductive.....it is THE perfect evening bag. I love the shimmering colors and the scales on the shell. The chain in the gunmetal looks very evening---and chains as straps again are on trend. This will go magically with the colors of the dress. LOVE THIS! Hard Evening Acid Python Oval Bag-Blue, www.matthewwilliamson.com (price upon request)

I promised you a ridiculously opulent jacket--well here it is! A fox fur coat fashioned to look like mink, is going to keep you warm and trendy. Typical of Williamson, there are panels of bespoke brocade near the lapels in orange and gold. Curvy, with loads of volume and class, as much as you are going to want to reveal your dead-hot dress---this is going to be a pity to take off. Fox Brocade Coat-Mink, www.matthewwilliamson.com (price upon request)

And finally, just to get you going before the night begins and calm you down after it ends, here is one cool candle from Matthew's extensive collection. With loads of colors and scents, you'll find the one perfect for your groove for the night. I just chose this one because I thought the color looked nice and the name "Dusk" seemed appropriate Matthew Williamson Scented Candles, www.matthewwilliamson.com (price upon request)

Dear Ethers,

Thank goodness I can actually post today.  Usually my “Wish List” is posted as a happy Monday greeting for all of you fashionistas out there who are hating the fact that it is a whole new week and my page might act as a slight distraction from your snooze-fest of a job.  But, I guess Tuesday sucks as much as Monday, so let’s hope my dreamy delights will keep your eyes from slamming shut in front of your computer for at least 5 minutes while you check out this week’s garb.  

When I worked on the lovely, yet unaffordable Old Bond Street, I used to peruse the shops right before the boutiques would open always armed with a hot Starbucks in hand (boy Starbucks has been there for every important moment of my life except my Bat Mitzvah!).  The street cleaners washed down the pavement, the window cleaners used their squeegees to make the windows glisten and I would dream of one day being able to afford to stroll in to one of these glittering havens and buy…..a 300 pound key chain.  I remember when the whole Alexander McQueen skull-scarf rage was en-fuego and the shop girls would tell me people we’re trying to bribe them to get them ahead of the queue on the waiting list!  Now you see copies everywhere—but when that scarf was hot—man was it untouchable.  

I’ve always been very 50/50 about Squire McQueen.  His stuff has either been so avant garde that it is just too nuts and unwearable or so imaginative that you wish you had the 5 grand to buy the dress and be stared at when you stole the room.  I like that he is all about the badass woman.  That’s why I’ve called this “Wish List” the “Futuristic Dominatrix” because I think he empowers the female form with cuts that are really severe and strong, but also so out of this world that you might imagine it to be something from 3009 not 2009.  I love his studding, I love his sharp shoulders and even though his skulls are now a bit passe, if you’ve got the real deal, you still feel kinda smug that you have an original McQueen skull piece.

I also like that he is pure London.  He is from the East End of London and his dad was a cabbie.  He was an apprentice on Savile Row (it breaks my heart that will be a dead tradition one day) and was a product of Central Saint Martins–where else, right?  His runway shows are famous (remember the human chess game catwalk?) and he was head of Givenchy for 5 years and then broke free to become who he is today.  He has perfumes, had a special line made with MAC cosmetics and launched online in 2008 allowing people like us to buy his ready-to-wear with a click of a button.  

So, may I present my choice of what I think encapsulates Alexander?  I might have chosen other things for myself on his site—but I thought, if I could pick a comprehensive outfit that fit his attitude….well, this would be it.  Hail to the McQueen!

Our first up to bat in the beautiful beatings from our lovely dominatrix! I actually thought this looked very Westwood when I first saw it, but then I could see in the shoulders and the corseting around the hips and knew that this had our gents staple all over it. I love how it's a gunmetal silver. Imagine walking into a dimly lit-room and the fabric glowing. Or, even a brightly lit room making it come alive and sparkle. Metallics seem to have never wavered from being in style each season and I think this is one killer dress that has demure potential, but that we are going to adorn with badass accessories--well, everything but the whip! Silver Lame Drape Front Dress, $1,515, alexandermcqueen.com

Have you read "The Story of O?" I don't know, this reminds me of something they'd have in that house! It's got leather, spikes, hoops and chains. I think buckled around the dress would be so unconventional and unexpected that people would be shocked and then smirk with delight. It's also going to begin the leading theme with our accessories. Pyramid Chain Belt, $2,175, alexandermcqueen.com

This is such a killer bag--no literally. I'd hate to back-up into somebody who had this on the tube--those things look sharp! But I like how it looks ready for street battle and you can throw anything in it. It goes perfectly with the belt above and the silver metallic dress compliments it well because of the textures of the two pieces. Studded Faithful Tote, $3,995, alexandermcqueen.com

I had to throw a skull scarf in there. This one is cool because the skulls are covered by a dogtooth/houndstooth pattern. The colors mesh with the scheme we are looking for and I thought tied around the handles of the bag, this could look really groovy. I think it's a different take on the slightly overdone staple and you could even use it in your hair as a wrap if you really wanted to go all out and futuristic. Silk Dogtooth Skull Scarf, $315, alexandermcqueen.com

I adore fingerless gloves. They seem so biker babe and hardcore. They also show off a lovely red manicure beautifully! Great for smoking a cig, but keeping the rest of the hand cozy and the leather works well with the theme. Oh, and it is also easier to wield a whip with fingerless gloves, don't you think Black Motorcycle Glove, $470, alexandermcqueen.com

And finally, the shoes. Don't tell me these don't look like something Madonna has stashed away in her wardrobe for special occasions! Do I even need to explain? The leather, the heel-height, the studs, the buckles---wear these with tights and that dress and imagine all the accessories together. Throw on a red lip, a sexy perfume---you are unstoppable. Studded Buckle Bootie, $1,395, alexandermcqueen.com

Dear Ethers,

After attending the Valentino show last night (I will share all tomorrow) I wish I had something catwalk worthy for you.  But alas, I am just a mere mortal with a mere mortal’s bank account, so you’ll have to enjoy what I have picked for this week!

It’s been wild weather in Los Angeles.  We had a cold spell for about a week and now it’s hot and BBQ temperature again.  The evenings are lovely and cool, but you don’t need a jacket or a coat because the temperature drops to the perfect “Ahhhhh” after the hot day’s heat has cooked you.

I’ve chosen something I think would be great to wear if you were to go out in the evening for a casual night and wanted to be comfortable, trendy and have a bit of flair to your outfit.  I also like the idea that navy blue is the base color.  Nobody wears navy blue because it is so tricky to pull off and so few people own navy pieces to make a coherent outfit.  I think this look is classy and elegant, but it also stands out with the oriental-style culottes.

This is a real fashion juxtaposition from my seductive Sienna/Kate look from last week (grrrrrrr) and I know some of you mother’s were concerned, so to set a good example for my younger readers, I wanted to put together a little outfit that was ladylike (but still very cool). But those who finger wagged, just you wait–I am in the market for some over-the-knee boots and when they are bought they will be shown on a Friday.  And I am going to shock you with something short to show off how sexy-rexy they are.  So be warned!!!!!!!

I hope you Ethers have a wonderful Friday and I shall speak to you tomorrow, maybe not the same time, but always the same place.

Dedicatedly yours,

—One of 365

In The Navy! I really like how the culottes break up the color and really add flair to the otherwise monotone color scheme. Flats are always easy and great to just slip on and go out in. And a basic top with a little bit of oomph shows you're not just a bore buying a basic Gap pocket T-shirt. All in all, I think our lady of leisure looks quite dapper.

Poor, neglected navy. Yet, so lovely when done well. I love this top because of the neckline detail. It almost looks like you're wearing some sort of elaborate neck piece. I felt a very vintage vibe coming from this top when it caught my eye and immediately grabbed it. It has proved versatile beyond belief. It works perfectly with denim, classic with white, very Ivy League with khaki and really fun with red. I also got this for a steal. Topshop in London was selling this on sale like hotcakes because they were replacing them with black. Navy Neck-Detail Top, 8 pounds, Topshop, London

I've had these cuties for at least 6 years. They have never fallen out of trend and when I wear them I always get compliments. I tend to wear them with a heel because they hit me in a place that make my legs look slightly short, but I do like them with flats. I love the little pleat with the red insert. Really creative. These have so much detail like fabric covered buttons at the fly and beautiful seam work. They also are 100% brushed cotton and have a lovely crisp, stiff feel to them. I've worn them out to lunch, to work and to an evening event. A great buy. Oriental Style Culottes, Bellum, $35, Loehmann's, NYC

I'm not a big bling girl. You won't see my carrying around an LV emblazoned bag and a Giorgio Armani mobile. But I do like designer items (of course!). Coach isn't really known internationally. It's more of a US thing, am I right? Anyway, I went into the shop and they were having a monster blowout. Now, they have the emblazoned disease. So nothing really suited my style. But then I saw these lovely velvet flats. And of course they had been marked down a million times because they weren't label whored-out. I loved that they were navy blue and had a sweet brass detail on the toe. I thought they looked classic and elegant and I had never really seen a navy flat I liked before. But, if you look closely in the picture, you'll see stamped into the velvet are the C's that the label is famous for. That I can handle because unless you stare at them, you really can't "C" it. I think they look cute with this outfit because they make it more casual, but the velvet adds a bit of dressiness to the ensemble. I've worn these with shorts, a long skirt and jeans. A really great buy. Navy Blue Flats, Originally $175, bought for $50, Coach, Los Angeles

Dear Ethers,

Many of you hoped never to see the fashions of the 1980’s again.  You look at old photographs of yourself, bangs/fringe so high it’s like they are praying to jesus and jeans that are so acid washed you don’t know how your skin wasn’t burned!  But designers have been bringing back the era in a major way—especially with their diffusion lines.  See By Chloe is certainly one that has embraced the time when crimping your hair and “The Lost Boys” were hot stuff!  

There tends to be a rule of thumb.  If you were alive in that era and sporting the clothes, you shouldn’t be pulling out old relics and donning them again. This is a toughie because I think the 80’s weren’t SO far back in time that you couldn’t make it look sassy again.  You just really need to buy the new styles and maybe throw in a few of you old favs. The cuts really make or break you looking like you just stepped out for a fancy dress party or rummaging through your boxed up clothes from 87′, or looking like you’re rocking it 2009 style.  

I decided to go with more of a rocker-chick meets “Hi, I’m a dancer” vibe in my outfit.  I think the top could be modern or hail from that time.  The jeans are TOTALLY 80’s and the bag is just so outrageous–it becomes fabulous because it is part of the nuttiness that the 80’s girls rocked.  The over-the-knee-boot, as I’ve stressed, is SO on-trend right now, but it is paying homage to the 80’s when everyone was shimmying in these kicks.  So, what we’re getting from designers are gorgeous re-invented versions that are much sleeker, richer and modern.  

There were a lot of other looks that I could have chosen from See By Chloe (though I must say, much of the collection was inspired by the 80’s), but I really felt that I wanted to do something that you could go out and dance in, or just look suave whilst shopping.  I wish the designer had more accessories.  If she had–I would have bangled up the arms and done something whacko with the hair–oh, and definitely gone crazy with some fab sunglasses.  But alas, I’ve dolled our 80’s beauty up, and I think she looks pretty wicked!

So pump up some Duran Duran and The Cure, or if it’s more to your liking Paula Abdul—and start getting dressed.  You are gonna, like, look so frickin’ rad dude!

I really fell for this top because I think it's exactly the perfect mix of 80's meets 2009. The material and the tie reminds me of that stiff taffeta of those party dresses that girls wore to their proms. I like how the strapless top plays with the ruching---very 80's. This could be worn with a modern pair of trousers or a high-waisted skirt. But if it's the 80's you're after--go for how I've styled it. Strapless Twill Bustier Top, $385, seebychloe.com

The wash. The ankle length. The tightness. The cut. I mean, seriously, do we even question See By Chloe paying homage to this great era? These jeans are great because you can wear them with trendy ankle booties, fab flats or sandals in warmer weather. But we're gonna do it with MAJOR statement boots. These jeans SO remind me of something Baby would wear in "Dirty Dancing" to practice with (RIP) MR. Swayze. Total dancer jeans. Totally cool. Logo Skinny Jeans, $265, seebychloe.com

I really want over the knee boots. I think these are really cool because they are suede with little brass studs all over them giving a medieval 80's vibe. They are like the pirate boot meets modern rock-star! I think this is the perfect combination of old meets new. Lush fabric, a great cut and a homage to the old style. Sweet with the jeans and top--but also fab with a mini dress and tights. Above The Knee Flat Boots With Studs, $715, seebychloe.com

Ok. Probably none of us would spend a dime on this bonkers bag. But it SO went with the 80's vibe and the outfit: The rock-chick or a huge tote that a dancer would just throw her stuff in. It's just too nuts to imagine and yet it actually was designed (and it ain't cheap!). There's not a lot to say......it's ugly.....I don't want you to think I have bad taste. Just picture a a girl coming out of Pineapple Studios in Covent Garden in this outfit using this as her tote---it kinda works, right? Doggie Bag, $95, seebychloe.com

This IS NOT from See By Chloe. BUT they had no jewelery and though the "Wish List" is strictly only using an outfit that's 100% from one collection, I broke the rules with this one. Why? Because how 80's and perfect would this be to wear around the neck of the black strapless top? It's so tacky but fun, and really is what everyone wore almost 30 years ago! Also, it says Chloe (it's kinda close enough, right?). I also couldn't leave you without ANY baubles! Charm Necklace, Unknown Price, applesofgold.com